Is it normal in a relationship to have nothing to say at times?

[Anonymous]

So I’m in a long distance relationship ( and Married) my husband and I talk everyday in the morning for a few minutes and at night I sleep on the phone with him. I’ve noticed only at night when we’re on the phone , he doesn’t seem to talk as much as preferably on me, we just chat about small matters then he’s off to watch a movie. What am I not getting here?

Updates

+1 y

Not I’m really deep myself. Maybe not my husband.

Updates

+1 y

We video chat every day. But to sponsor I must petition first then prove I’m able to sponsor him.

[ohsheeT]

You're not getting what you're putting into it that's for sure

At the same time that has to be one hard thing to do

I've had a couple long distance relationships that were pretty hot but at the same time I wasn't married that would be hard I mean do you guys have passion do you have phone sex I mean you have to do you have to have that..

And the reason why I bring up phone sex is because if you know anything about energy and two people becoming one I'm telling you it can be just as good as physical sex and sometimes better if you know how to use energy but if he's walking away watching a movie and you're just still sitting on the phone why is that happening you watch the movie with him I mean through snapchat or something or what

[Mangospacho]

You don’t have to always have something to talk about. It just means you’ve already shared everything you need to share.

[Asker]

Do men like it when there girlfriend is around silent?

[HiveBee]

Just to be in your presence is good enough. But women become overbearing because presence is not good enough for you.

You want constant engagement and men don't like that.

We are happy just to have you and content that you are near. It's too much when you want to talk all the Damm time lol.

[HiveBee]

Especially if you're talking about shit he wants to talk about.

Men can talk all day. Just not about the things that you ladies want to talk about.

You don't want to talk to him all day. Otherwise you could talk about other things all the time.

You want to talk about shit that you think is somehow connecting you two. You want to constantly build the relationship and connect or whatever.

It's exhausting.

[Asker]

Thats amazing ! Thank you “ talking all the damn time “🤭 Men are simple

[HiveBee]

No we are complex and deep but you refuse to engage in those topics or areas of life to which he is willing to go deep.

Men can talk all day. We can talk to eachother endlessly.

We can go all day going deep into any kind of topic.

You are not engaging with 99% of the man.

You only engage in what you think is important. And you think you have the only importsnt things to talk about.

All the stuff men talk about in your opinion, must be some unimportant surface level shit.

That is your declaration because you women think you're right about everything, and that you know everything.

But the reality is usually y'all are horrifically ignorant.

But I have seen it time and time again, women being snide and talking about men and behind men's backs.

You can't talk to your man because you think you are better than him. You think you are going to teach him something.

But in reality you need to learn a lot of things.

We have infinite depth you just don't want to access it because it doesn't align with your feminine convictions.

You think your female way of seeing things is the correct way, and men are just dumb stupid animals.

You cannot fathom a man's perspective in life. And that's gonna hold you back from your man giving you the treatment you wish for every day.

You don't give a shit about men. You don't care about who he really is. You never did.

You think men are broken and imperfect. And you are naturally perfect.

You think who he really is needs to change from its current manly form, to a more feminine form.

You don't care one ounce about men or the man you are with. You think it is your job as woman, to change man.

[Mangospacho]

I think it’s fine when she’s silent on occasion. If she’s constantly quiet, that might be an issue.

[BlackBeauty90]

He visited you, you met, married, he went home, he has to wait for a visa.

The situation stinks and it's not just the fact that he isn't interested in chatting at night time. If you are legitimately married after all you can sponser your spouse into a country and he can go through the particulars for a work visa, etc. when here.

He isn't interested in chatting for a number of reasons:
1) He's tired
2) He has a family back home & doesn't want them to know

No other cause

[Asker]

Number 2 no ! We stay on the phone all night but we just don’t talk at times but watch tv

[BlackBeauty90]

I've a question why is it he has to get a visa & you can't sponser him?
Why is it you said elsewhere that you can't video chat?

There's something not adding up.

How long did you know this guy before you got "married".

[Asker]

We video chat every day. But to sponsor I must petition first then prove I’m able to sponsor him.

[KBird]

he's probably a morning person and the night is when he winds down. Im the oposite way. In the morning I dont really have much to say, and at night Im a chatty Cathy.

Also I think chatting everyday is sometimes hard. You run out of things to say. And you two are chatting twice a day. I honestly wouldn't expect to have deep or detailed conversations on a daily basis.

[Asker]

That’s what I thought as well

[Travellover]

Very reasonable

[Sonorous]

I mean yeah it's normal but still weird since there's legit an infinite amount of things to talk about.

[Summeroflove]

Yeah. Sometimes it’s best not to force it when you can’t think of anything to say.

[OlderAndWiser]

Why are you LD when you are married, how long have you been LD, and is there a definite plan to be together again?

[Asker]

Yes we will reunite in about 2 years. He has to get a visa

[OlderAndWiser]

How much time did you spend together and how long have you been separated?

[Asker]

About 3 months together and 6 months away

[Apple1996]

Yeah its fine some people just aren't chatty

[Ozanne]

It's very normal to be tapped out when it comes to conversation. Also, I'm not sure if you're American or not, but I find Americans usually need to fill dead air with talking. If not talking, just sound in general, by making mouth sounds or sighing or filler words like, "Anywayyyyy", or just anything so there isn't quiet. Many people from other parts of the world have no issue with no sound or speaking in a conversation, and can sit there in some quiet time without feeling an awkward need to say something. If that's your husband, it could be that he's just feeling it's normal to sit there and wait for a thought to be expressed.

Also, I can tell you that after a period of time between two people, when you're slowing down on the getting-to-know-each-other phase of your relationship, that things can quiet down and there is less to say. Conversation becomes more like blips of information more than discussions. It's all normal.

[Vendela_]

I was in a ldr for two years. There were lot's of times like this. You're not around each other constantly like a normal couple, so you have to make up for it by calling/texting/face timing etc. It gets old after a while, you've said everything that needs to be said which is when a normal couple would watch a movie together or something- which you can't do bc of the distance. This is just one of many reasons why most ldr fail.

[Asker]

Yeah. But we’re make it

[Asker]

We’ll *

[Vendela_]

I hope you do! Good luck

[midnightmoon05]

So you don’t know each other well before getting married?

being able to communicate is very important in any relationship.

I was in a LDR for 5 years. We always had so much to talk about…we are now married and have been living together over 2 years. so we have know each other for over 7 years. We still talk plenty after we come home from work…other times, we enjoy our own time.
you two need to learn to put the whole world aside and stay on the phone/video chat) to talk and do other activities (movies, read to each other, cook together, talk about finances, future goals, travel plans, etc)… we never have time to feel bore.
I don’t know about other couples.

[Anonymous]

It is normal in an LDR, and just more reason why it’ll be good to close that distance once you’re able. When you’re not creating memories and stuff in person, you eventually run out of things to talk about. Topics become reoccurring, things get boring, it’s a dynamic that will get old after too long of being stagnant.

[Asker]

We will have to wait

[Zatsuma]

Don't think to much of it, I was in an LDR and we talked 3 times a day, via video chat. I hated the evening ones as he always seemed to be more interested in the TV than me. The way I saw it though was that after work we all just want to unplug and relax so I never took any offense to it, as bugging as it was at times. Usually I'd just flash a body part to get his attention again, with men that always works. 🤣

[Light_beam]

you should get my attention..

[Deuce-Li84]

Absolutely. Not everyone are prolonged conversationalists like people want them to be and most of the time people can find it weird or out of place. We (Men) are not long conversationalist's at the very least not towards women, it's easier to talk to other men because we don't really know what's gonna sound wrong, awkward or out of place to women regardless of whether men and women are in a relationship or not. It's not cause we're angry or anything it's just a mixture of two different physical and mental factors.

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

It would probably be good for the two of you to get some faced FaceTime every so often. Talking on the phone can be very robotic and as a general rule, we as humans thrive on face-to-face contact.
The phone conversations cannot compete with a lovin embrace or seeing expressions in real time.

[Asker]

Can’t right now

[Anonymous]

How does that work with you being married but long distance? How did you get married? Do you ever visit each other? When will you see each other again?

To answer your question though, it's normal.

[Asker]

I visited him and got married. He’s a foreigner to my country so he’ll have to wait for visa

[Opinion Owner]

Oh well that sucks. I hope it doesn't take too long.

[Asker]

Actually it’s not bad as you think and I hope so

[Opinion Owner]

I'm long distance with my boyfriend but we're only 2 hours away from each other and it's hell. I can't imagine being in another country from your love. You guys are very strong! I wish nothing but the best for you guys!

[Asker]

Yeah I get that. Thanks

[Anonymous]

I have the same type relationship. We talk over text 2 times a day or on video call once a day and text each other gn. We never had nothing to talk about though unless one is in the bad mood. If neither of you has a problem then who cares, maybe you two are just not as talkative

[Opinion Owner]

What about sponsoring is in the update. Are you paying for him over long distance relationship?

[Doesitreallymatter2u]

The term normal is subjective. What is normal to one person may of course be odd to another. I like to talk and hear what is on someone's mind, especially when I am in a relationship I thrive on open communication. The more expressive and emotional the better. In my opinion good communication is the life blood of a relationship. When communication lines get clogged that's when things usually take a change for the worst.

[loveslongnails]

I don't think there's anything to be concerned about. When and how often do you see each other?

[Asker]

We’re in different countries right now. But I’ll visit in two years

[loveslongnails]

I don't understand? You're married to this guy in another country, but won't see him for another two years?

[Asker]

Yes , he’s waiting for visa

[loveslongnails]

Two years to get a visa? Where do you guys live?

[Asker]

He’s a foreigner to my country

[OfMiceandMen]

He just has more to tell you in the morning, some people have more active minds in the morning and he has more to say. At night, he likely wants to wind down his day and has less to report.

[Massageman]

How much of a time differential is there between the calling and answering parties? When I was on a mission trip to Greece, it was weird to call back home just before sacking out and day was in full swing at home.

On another note, my wife will NEVER have "nothing" to say.

[strateguy632]

but you do talk , so nothing is missing, and you can choose the topic, just don't drag the talking long time.

[rachel776]

[Staximus]

Why would you marry anybody who is not there

[Asker]

So he can come to my country

[Staximus]

You're getting used for citizenship. I don't know why people are dumb enough to still fall for this old trick

[Asker]

It’s not like that

[Asker]

Though most do go through it

[molonski2]

Id just say he's exhausted at the end of the day , and possibly you should retime the call , but I don't see a problem with keeping it brief , especially when tired like that.

[Asker]

Retime the call?

[molonski2]

Different time of day? Possible?

[Asker]

Only morning and we sleep together on the phone at night

[molonski2]

I'm not sure falling asleep on the phone is helpful.

[Asker]

I like it. Just convo before, are usually quiet

[Asker]

Maybe because he’s tired

[Jamie05rhs]

Men aren't talkers. We're doers. It's very hard on him to be such a long distance away from you. He's completely out of his element. ... But he's still trying!! ✊

[LiamSawyer]

I'd probably be sexting you cause I miss you so much if I were him.

[Guido]

He could have just been tired from the day. Sometimes when we have been together for a long time, we can spend a whole evening in the same room and not say anything..

[artgorgeous]

Nah, that's ok. There is just really nothing new to talk about. Maybe just another boring day. I have the same thing sometimes with my parents when talking on the phone.

[ProbablyClueless]

That's pretty normal, yeah. Not everybody always has stuff to say.

[Sparkie460]

he's probably just more awake in the morning and has more to say. At night he could be too tired to talk

[DeeDeeDeVour]

LDR?

Different time zones might be affecting your energies.

[boobliker]

he may also be doing the same with other girls to get sponced

[Iron_Man]

You’re just gonna have to be open with your husband and have a conversation

[Avicenna]

No, it’s not normal

[Subwayco]

Yes, I would say it happens to everyone..

[Ava1993]

Yes sometimes it’s nice just lay their and watch the sky.

[elizamichale1]

I think it's natural

[whirled_up_girl]

Yeah I think that’s totally normal.

[OddBeMe]

There’s always dirty talk.

[In_Trance]

You lost me a long distance

[shades777]

you dont have to constantly talk, like a parrot

[krin_m]

Sure. One can't always be chatty !

[zillllll]

Most definitely even though I be hating it lol

[ta-ra]

Yes it's normal.

[Anonymous]

No, that is not a good sign at all.

[Christoff92]

Sometimes

[Anonymous]

Yes it happens.

[shortster]

Definitely

[Bklynbadboy12]

Sure it is

[azgınteke]

its normall