Did she cheated on me?

[Anonymous]

For many months my girlfriend was determined to get pregnant and made me do all sort of things to make it possible. She made us both do fertility tests, I had to stop smoking, and we took vitamins every for about 3 months. One day, I came home from work we had dinner and at bed time she told me that she was pregnant. A few weeks later, I came home and she told me that she was going to have a abortion. I told her that if she had a abortion I would break up with her, so she decided to keep the child. One day I came home, she made up a argument with me, and then casually told me that she had taken a pill and was in a middle of a abortion.
I believe that the baby was not mine, because why would she make all kinds of efforts and be desperate to have my baby, and all of a sudden get pregnant and do a abortion without talking to me first. Since the abortion she as been happy again and keeps suggesting for us to have a child in the near future.

[Ozanne]

It is never easy for a woman to get an abortion, even if she's pro-choice. Her decision was very likely not made lightly. Women can often say that we want children, and even go through all the hoops to have them, but then when it actually happens, it can spook a person, as reality sets in. Shit gets real, so to speak.

To be honest it sounds like she wanted to get pregnant but didn't think it would happen so quickly and got cold feet. A lot of women could be waiting a year or more for it to happen, and it's possible that she anticipated the wait to be longer.

I highly doubt she cheated. I would give her a break. She wanted a child with you, and it sounds like you were both having frequent sex together to make it happen. I wouldn't add any drama to the mix during this difficult time. She didn't understand that pregnancy could happen this quickly and now she knows better and can be smart about it for next time when trying again.

[Asker]

Thank you for your input. She was actually expecting it anytime. After only 2 months of trying to get pregnant, she was so frustrated that she made us both pay for fertility test. She was actually expecting it to happen sooner.

The only reason why I think she was cheating was because I spent most of the my time at work while she sits at the local cafe all day so n her laptop “working”. She has a bunch of men she’s constantly in contact with, and recently she met a old male friend at the local cafe behind my back. I believe that the baby was not mine, because of her lack of boundaries with other men, and the way she did this abortion. She waited 9 weeks to make such decisions, recently I found out that a DNA test can be done from week 9 of pregnancy. She waited till the last minute to do this tests behind my back, and after did the abortion without telling.

[Ozanne]

Your paranoia is exploding right now. She was actively having sex with you. Someone planning a future with children -- especially with their spouse is not going to fuck things up like this while they are actively trying to get pregnant. A woman can still get spooked about her pregnancy even after wanting to be. She wasn't ready. I can't believe that you're taking a very serious issue like this and picking it apart like a detective. You either love, trust, and support her or you don't. If you don't, then what are you doing with her?

[Asker]

Please stop making excuses for her. As I clarify to you, she was expecting to be pregnant very soon, not like you said, that she didn’t expect so soon. What about her doing a abortion without me being aware? I only been with her for about a year, now I’m actually realising she’s actually crazy. Don’t worry about that, I’ll be soon gone. Thanks

[Ozanne]

Look, you're ON here looking for opinions and perspective, and I'm giving it to you! Seems like you already came into this question with your own judgments and answers. Leave her for her sake. You're obviously too paranoid to see any other perspective, and too closed minded to think about anything else. Glad to know you'll be out of that relationship so she can move on and find happiness elsewhere without someone like you doubting her throughout a very sensitive time.

[Asker]

Did you even read the post? She convinced me to have a child and did a abortion behind my back. How can you dismiss my pain and have sympathy for her is mind blowing. I think you probably can relate to her that’s why you empathising with such person. The fact that I’m supporting her throughout this abortion before moving on speaks volumes about the person I’m. All the best

[Ozanne]

"you probably can relate to her that’s why you empathising"
So you aren't done with assumptions so much that you are making them on ME--a woman you don't know, don't have a clue what I look like, where I am in life, what relationships I've had, or what situations I've ever been in? You have no idea who I am. I'm nothing but a cartoon profile pic to you. How brilliant you can make such assumptions so easily on me simply because I'm trying to help you see another side to things. No wonder you're making assumptions on the woman you're living with!

"The fact that I’m supporting her throughout this abortion before moving on speaks volumes about the person I’m."
No my dear. You've clearly shown the person you are with your lack of sympathy, understanding, and have now added suspicion, doubt, and insensitivity... not just on her, but on me too. Now it's personal. I have to say that if this is how you treat a random woman online who was willing to help you on GaG, how devastating it must be for her to have you rail her during the time she needs you most.

Now I understand why you're anonymous! I've spent more than enough of my time on you and your drama. Get your senseless last word in if you must -- just know it won't be read by me.

[Asker]

I feel sorry for you and I will pray for you.

[HateyouxD]

She probably was testing you to see if you'd care enough about the abortion. She's wack

[Fireguy17]

She sounds coo coo for coco puffs.
I would have issues with her.
Go get fixed and freeze some swimmers for the future just in case.
You don't want any nasty surprises if you are 110% sure that having a kid together would be the best thing ever.

[Asker]

Thank you for your input. I actually have a son from my previous relationship, so I’ll be fine.

[SolitarySolace]

This is exactly why I refuse to ever have children. Women would just get an abortion anyway and I couldn't do shit about it. I hope you dumped her ass and left her on th curb with no more than a sack and a hobo stick

[Monalisa77]

Thats a bit odd, if u both want one why would she get an abortion

[SolitarySolace]

She suddenly changes her mind and goes completely against what was originally agreed upon.

[Monalisa77]

Might have some form of depression then or feels she hasn't bonded with it, just weird to suddenly change ur mind

[SolitarySolace]

Must be some excuse to relieve her of her second guessing, huh? Spin it to make it the man's fault cuz it always is. Never the woman's.

[Monalisa77]

? Never did any of the sort lol pregnancy depression can happen to anyone

[SolitarySolace]

Sure

[boggboss]

Lol u stayed with her after stating u would leave her

[_Maya_]

More so she made all the effort to get pregnant to not want a baby?

[boggboss]

Thats what I mean on that baises alone he should have left instead he decided to ask gag if we think she cheated lile we would know

[Asker]

I’m planning to leave her very soon. As soon as I find a place to stay, she will come home and find out the I’m gone forever lol

[boggboss]

🤷🏽‍♂️ good for u I guess

[Asker]

You are kind and non-judgemental as I thought you would. And you not the type to laugh at peoples problems. I’ll pray for you.

[Anonymous]

my mom wants grandchildren. I don't blame her but she doesn't understand that it's not up to me to give her grandchildren because my baby could easily be aborted

[exitseven]

Can you get a sample of the fetal tissue and have it tested?

[Asker]

I don’t think she would agree with that. Knowing her, I know she would use that to say that I’m paranoid and crazy. She’s the queen of gaslighting my friend.

[exitseven]

Could you do it on the down low?

[Asker]

I would not be comfortable doing that, but thank you for your suggestion.

[exitseven]

Damn, just findcout where it is and bribe the lab tech for a sample. A hundred bucks ought to do it. Worth it in the long run.

[Asker]

Nah thanks for the offer

[KrakenAttackin]

Women are most likely to cheat when they are ovulating.

[Socaljp]

Still suggests for you two to have a child together? Jesus she done lost her mind

[Iron_Man]

That’s a huge problem. You better get a test.

[Finchie40]

Sounds like she did sorry to say

[Anonymous]

Yeah that's definitely sus