My husband has had a traumatic past. He has$ clothes from that time. Am I unreasonable for wanting to get him new $ clothes so he can let go and heal?

[Anonymous]

He's had a very traumatic past and he has expensive clothes.

I wanted to replace his expensive clothes with ones we bought together.

He thinks I'm being unreasonable for wanting him to get rid of clothes that are tied to trauma.. and I thought it would be a healing process for us to get new clothes together to replace them.

Am I unreasonable for wanting to get him new expensive clothes to replace the old ones and close the door on the trauma and make new memories?

Yes you're unreasonable

No you're not unreasonable

[MrOracle]

If your husband felt any ties between his trauma and those clothes, he'd have made a bonfire out of them long ago. Clearly he doesn't, so all you would be doing is wasting money. It would make things worse instead of better.

You are trying to project your own feelings and solutions (retail therapy) on him, but that's not how men work. He's a MAN. Men heal by being left alone, with NO responsibilities or expectations, for a few hours at a time. He may read, watch TV, play video games, tinker on the car, build something, or just sit in a chair and stare at the wall, but it doesn't matter. What matters is that he has his healing time where he is left alone. That's the only thing that works.

[BarryLiverstone]

Compromise. Move the clothes to another closet or pack some away and out of site. Then shop for new ones with him and make it fun with him having to show off options to you outside the dressing room

[provokeesmokee]

Probably you fixating on his clothes and tying them into his past trauma is making it well worse than if you just let him process that at his own pace.

Every time you bring it up, you're raising the spectre of this trauma.

Drop it. Buy him new clothes to make new memories, but don't force him to let go of old clothes if he doesn't want to.

Trauma is not contained in cloth. Unless it's like, he's allergic to cotton but insists on wearing it or something.

[Anonymous]

If he wants to keep his clothes you’re no one to even determine if his clothes should stay or go regardless of your reasons. His clothes should go only when he wants them to go. Especially if they’re expensive clothes, are you retarded?

[Imsmurter1]

Good idea but might be expensive or wasteful of good clothing

[spartan55]

It's really not your decision.

[FunkyMonkee]

What are dollars clothes?