Why am I ashamed/embarrassed and dreading having to tell my family I was cheated on?

[Super2000]

I’m not the one who cheated so why do I feel this way? The worst part is the person who cheated on me, doesn’t even know I know because I’ve been trying to digest it and process. I already have trust issues. I’m afraid to be on my own but I’m sad and confused that part of me feels ashamed when all I’ve ever done is been loyal…

[HollyK21]

“I’m afraid to be on my own”, I think that is the main issue here. Not saying your feelings of shame and embarrassment aren’t prominent as well, but telling family what happened would really solidify you two being over, since I highly doubt you’d bring him around after such a disappointing revelation.


That sense of finalization is really scary and hurtful when you aren’t ready to be broken up, but as the saying goes: once a cheater always a cheater. Since you already struggle with trust issues, knowing that he cheated you would always be on your toes, become insecure and worried about what he’s doing when you’re apart. It’s not worth putting yourself through that, so if telling your family will help you be fully done, then do it.

[sheikalana]

You literally don't need to tell your family everything especially about your relationship. If you two break up all you have to say is that things didn't work out without further details.

[BoopBoopBeep]

I'm sorry that happened. I hate it for you, but F him. You'll be better without him. I think @hollyk21 nailed it below... or... above... wherever she falls when this posts. Telling someone makes it real. I had an ex that still referred to me as her partner publicly for over a year when she was around people that knew us. They just wandered why I never showed up I guess. The sooner you bite the bullet though, the better off you'll be in the long run, and hey, you're super young. Somebody better will come along.

[msc545]

It implies that "in some way there must be something wrong with you or he would not have cheated on you."

This is of course very wrong and very distorted. yet people who are cheated on often feel this way.

[msc545]

Thanks for mho

[exitseven]

It sucks to be cheated on. It is not your fault and you have nothing to be ashamed of.