Why do women in age gap relationships escape the judgement men in age gap relationships are subject to?

[BourbonAndBacon]

I was with my ex wife for 25 years until she cheated on me with a guy 23 years younger than her and is still with him. I didn't cheat and I am now engaged to someone 20 years younger than me. Outside of friends and family, I am subject to way more judgement than her. WTF?

[NamerOfStars]

Agency- they're not seen as having any.

To the traditionalist mindset, it's unfair to hold women accountable for their actions, since they're women, and thus too incapable to reason like men do. To the Feminist mindset, it's unfair to hold women accountable for their actions, since they're women, and thus inherently too oppressed to reason like men do. Not everyone holds to one of those two mindsets, of course, but if you go around treating women like you treat men, you'll catch hell from both groups, which has a way of dampening your enthusiasm.

Consider Leonardo DiCaprio- he routinely gets criticized for only dating women under 25, to the extent that even *I*, who pays no attention to celebrity culture, have heard about it. He's not dating women his own age, and that's unfair to women.

Now think back to Titanic, and how the majority of the audience for that movie were horny middle-aged women lusting after young Leo- which was seen as perfectly acceptable, since they're only women, and expecting them to go after someone THEIR own age is unfair to women.

The passivity and ensuing irresponsibility have a chicken-and-egg thing going on in terms of which causes the other; if our society starting teaching its daughters less Cinderella and more Antigone, you'd start to see it lessen pretty quickly.

[JustMeQ2]

If this answer doesn’t get MHO, none will.

[Randogirl491]

Older women for the most part lack the predatory and vicious aspect that most men who date younger present. The feelings, the dynamics, everything is completely different

[LazerBean]

I don't see that they do. I think that people notice judgment more when its directed at themselves than others.

[IronLady6354]

As a woman with a guy 15 years younger I've got to strongly disagree. I have to deal with judgement from the age gap all the time.

[Billlewis]

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