I know that it‘s normal to notice attractive people, but my boyfriend scans women from head to toe and stares at women who are attractive. it really hurts me and i‘ve told him that but he denies it or says he will stop doing it but he doesn‘t. it makes me very sad and it makes me feel like I am not enough. I blame myself for feeling insecure but I can‘t help it. What should I do?
1.3K opinions shared on Relationships topic. Ya know what? Up his!! Creep! Thinks he's all that!
My last boyfriend (who died last month and can no longer torture me with doing this type of stuff to hurt me) used to do the same thing whenever we went somewhere. Especially if the woman was out walking her dog. That's how he would start taking to her, about her dumb dog! Mind you, I would be standing right there while the two of them acted all flirty with each other.
He hurt me so many times doing that. Yet, he said I love you to me everyday almost for the 7 years I knew him.
His ex-sister-in-law once told me about him that he's a really good friend to have, but he has a wandering heart. Well, not anymore! No more can he hurt me thinking he's fricken Casanova, yet always keeping in his life.
His first wife died after 24 years. He probably did the same thing to her, which caused her to get addicted to food and she gained 200 pounds. I can see it. I never ate like that, but he made me so anxious I started smoking cigarettes again after being clean from them for two years.
It happens. No one twisted our arms to eat or smoke, but having your man constantly making you feel like he's going to leave you at any minute can cause some reaction.10 Reply
Most Helpful Opinions
620 opinions shared on Relationships topic. I think you should ask yourself why this makes you feel insecure. Has he ever cheated? Do you feel like he’s going to cheat? have you ever had a full conversation about this to him before? I think you should really try to figure this all out before dumping someone over something very very very small when it comes down to it
49 Reply
Asker+1 yI think it might be because I mainly got into a relationship with him because he was so attentive towards me and sweet and kind. but since i‘ve been with him in group settings with his friends etc I‘ve noticed he treats every girl that way so I don‘t feel special anymore like I used to in the beginning.
Asker+1 yI don‘t want to talk to him about it because I want to be a good and chill girlfriend and I don‘t want him to think I‘m crazy or too insecure. I‘ll just have to get over it but how?
- +1 y
Relationships involve communication and while it seems like being quiet about how you feel makes you seem like the good and chill girlfriend, eventually 1. You are either going to blow up 2. Your behaviors are probably going to outwardly project how you’ve been feeling. You are better off speaking up and finding some kind of common ground before things end up worse.
Asker+1 yyes you are right, I will have to do that. last question: what do u mean my lack of fulfillment?
- +1 y
You said he hasn’t been making you feel special because what he does for you , he also does for other women. So maybe there’s more to what is making you feel insecure other than what you just mentioned. Is he still taking you out on dates? Does he do other things that he did for you when you first started dating? Etc. some people get comfortable in relationships and don’t brush up on what made the relationship work in the first place
Asker+1 ythat‘s true, we‘ve only been together for a month but he doesn‘t really plan much anymore and he‘s on his phone a lot, also often texting his female friends. i will talk to him about my feelings. thank you so much for helping me!
- +1 y
You're swallowing a pressurized bomb.
Anonymous(30-35)+1 yIs he willing to work on the issue at all? Like train himself not to look?
My older brother has this issue, and I trained myself to avoid his behavior.
He should make himself look above them, then down and stop at their eyes. Eventually, his brain will start ignoring the irrelevant information about her.
Some men are just freaks, but it sounds like he has a problem with self control.
If he's not willing to work on the issue, so you can hangout without him being disrespectful to you, then yes. He's being disrespectful.
If he's willing to work on the issue, and acknowledges his problem, then not yet. First step of getting help is acknowledging that there is a problem.00 Reply
Anonymous(36-45)+1 yIt's weird as fuck to be staring at people for any reason.
Also, now I understand why girls are so paranoid about their man looking at other women.
Because I get looks from women with their boyfriends. Peeking at me from behind his back. Making eye contact with me. Trying to have a subtle flirt.
I don't think men really do that shit. We are only looking because women are beautiful to look at. I don't think when a man looks, that he is trying to have a subtle flirt. A little validation and so on.
I could be wrong but I know I am a man and I just want to SEE.00 Reply
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
27Opinion
1.3K opinions shared on Relationships topic. He Cannot Be trusted if He Does That. I am Betting He is on Porn Sites and Or even Other Sites That Deal with this Big Zeal. xoo
40 Reply1.9K opinions shared on Relationships topic. Any man that does this is not worth being with. Staring at others is creepy especially head to toe like not everyone is eye candy. Only you should be his eye candy
10 Reply- 1.4K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
+1 yYes because it sounds like you want a man who isn't really a man lol
15 Reply- +1 y
She wants a gentleman not a pig. He doesn't respect her. Would he like it if she was checking out men on the street. Nah he would throw a fit.
- +1 y
@PrettyCrumblBb Men always look at women. If he's a pig then she should simply break up then and move on to the next pig who will do the same thing. Ridiculous lol
- +1 y
I don't know, I mean I like women just as much as the next guy, but it is a bit disrespectful to scan women in front of your SO..
- +1 y
@coachTanthony such conduct is disrespectful to the other women and his SO. Most men look, a fleeting glance, they don't slobber and drool on themselves like a filthy dog like this "man" is doing by eyeing up other woman so obviously
1.7K opinions shared on Relationships topic. Your boyfriend is a predator, just like most men are. This is worrisome because it is an indicator that they have no control whatsoever over their testosterone and would rather be the slaves of them than to attempt to master them.
If you have the slightest doubt in your mind that he is actively looking for a substitute, then you should separate while it is time. This behavior is indicative that his subconscious is targeting other women as possible replacement for you. You may be the nicest looking person in the world but for some men, that is not enough. They need the challenge because of their weak willpower.
They will deny it of course but the facts speak for themselves.
46 ReplyYou're asking for too much. I also suffer with insecurities as a result of low self esteem and yeah it's annoying. Put it this way, you date a dude who's really caring and puts you first but then he takes issue with you talking to other men. You'd want to accommodate him because you love him but it's an unreasonable ask. I think it's important to try and see it from his perspective because from your description is does sound like he's making some effort.
00 Reply
+1 yIt may be a bit of insecurity on your part. It sound kind of a jerk though. Checking out a pretty girl is practically a past time for many men. But staring? Gawking? That’s a bit much. In the end you and you alone can only decide what’s best for you. You either must act or accept. There isn’t much in between.
10 Reply
Anonymous(36-45)+1 yA woman should have to seek counseling because of putting up with being treated poorly, it’s unfair. Ya just let him treat you loudly but get some therapy so u can tolerate him… 😬 no.
Relationships take work, especially after the honeymoon phase. It take two at all times.
Communication is sooo important and if there’s no communication between u two on a good day, it’s understandable you could feel uncomfortable in the situation u are talking about.
Sit back and decide if there’s any chances of this relationship mending and if there is, it better be both of you mending it - it never takes one person to fix two peoples issue.
Personally, it sounds like you’re done with this guy and u just need a reason to pull the plug.00 Reply
+1 yI feel this is deeper. Why is he so animated when seeing them.
I assume my boyfriend sees other girls as hot, but why would he be so obvious to me?
Id he okay if you have the same behavior.
I would ask him.
Its not about him looking, it's his facial expressions tell you into it. ❤️🙄10 Reply- 573 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
+1 yI don't know about dumping, but you should at least tap him whenever he does it so he has nothing to say.. It's kinda disrespectful to do it front of your girl.. I mean c'mon.. If he doesn't stop the behavior maybe then you could make it known that it hurts you by maybe suggesting that he goes to chase those women without you.
00 Reply It is normal and unavoidable for a guy to look at other women. It's different if he does this all the time. If I were you, I would probably give him a choice. Either he changes his behavior or I break up with him.
30 Reply
Anonymous(36-45)+1 yMen are programed to find other women attractive, that is a very different thing than being disloyal to our girlfriends or wifes.
Just rememebr until a few hundred years ago it was common for men to actual sleep with other women and remain loyal good husbands to their wife for many thousands of years.00 ReplyHe's not really nice, he should at least stop this when he's with you. Especially staring is also not respectful to other women. But to be honest it happens to me, guys are staring especially at boobs when their girlfriend are here too
16 Reply
Asker+1 yit happens to me too and i always feel bad for the girlfriend and now i am one of them. i don’t like that
Asker+1 yI will, thank you! so i‘m not crazy for feeling this way?
Asker+1 ythank you!! and I never felt this way with my last boyfriend so I don’t think I’m just insecure.
hahaha omg I hope that guy learned from it 😂
+1 yThat's disrespectful. Of course it isn't cheating, but I get that it would feel humiliating and hurtful. Does he ever act inconsiderate in other ways?
20 Reply
+1 yStop being so insecure. Every man wants other women just like we look at other men and want them. It’s just your turn babe so enjoy him while he lasts
20 Reply- 914 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
+1 ySome people go to an art gallery to look at the artwork & as for your boyfriend he’s checking out works of art in public. Would you rather your boyfriend check out women or would you rather your boyfriend check out men?
00 Reply I would break up with him. Yes, it's normal to notice attractive people but openly checking them out like that while in a relationship is disgusting and disrespectful. No guy would want their girlfriends doing that.
00 Reply
+1 yHe's a red blooded male. I'd find it weird if my boyfriend didn't stare at hot woman. I end up pointing them out to him. Haha. However, if it makes u upset then u must talk to him about it.
13 Reply- +1 y
10.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic. That is something you will have to get used to. Very few men are 100% dedicated to their women.
11 Reply
Asker+1 yit makes me sad because I only have eyes for him and don‘t really notice or care about other guys. Is that normal?
1.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic. No. He needs to ditch your jealous ass quickly, before you turn into his stalker ex.
You're acting like a wife when you're barely a girlfriend.
10 Reply- 505 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
+1 yYes.
That he's doing so is disgusting on its own, especially as he seems not to even hide it. That he does it in front of you, knowing how you feel? Even worse.00 Reply - 818 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
+1 yGood luck finding one who doesn't look at all, so first determine what degree you're comfortable with and where you draw the line, that way you'll know going forward where your hard lines are.
00 Reply
+1 yIf he does that, he probably already disrespects you in other ways. I've never had a good relationship with a man who does this.
10 Reply6.7K opinions shared on Relationships topic. Women are beautiful. Get over it (and get on therapy) or break up until you are ready for relationships.
Hell even women look at other women.
20 Reply832 opinions shared on Relationships topic. To me its permission to wear less and if he complains about it well then maybe he needs to contemplate his own actions.
11 Reply
+1 yYes, although he probably won’t even notice you’re gone since he’s too busy staring at every other woman except you.
30 ReplyNo. Instead you should do something in response, for example, dress more sexy in public, act with certain naughty on him, if you share your place with him, try live fully naked when you're home, maybe he can stop thinking about other women
10 Reply
+1 yWhats sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. Question asking for an honest answer: Do you look at men - period?
00 ReplyDating some one who's visually impaired seem like a logical. Solution exceptional. person like your self ought consider
00 Reply- 3.3K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
+1 yHe is being disrespectful to you AND to the women he scopes out like that. Do you really want to endure that?
00 Reply
+1 yAfter being with a gay guy those feelings are not pretty. He sounds normal to me lol
00 Reply
Anonymous(45 Plus)+1 yDo it back every time you see a handsome guy and see how long he keeps doing it then see what he does. Most guys look but don’t stare while with their women, seems rude what he is doing
10 Reply
+1 yYou’re just being insecure
as long as he isn’t looking at dudes
01 Reply- +1 y
He's right, I got with a guy who didn't look at girls and he was gay. So if my partner did look at other girls it would actually be okay 😂
+1 yAs long as he's not having sex with them you should be fine.🙂
10 Reply8K opinions shared on Relationships topic. do what you feel is right for you
You should seek out a therapist too10 Reply
+1 yHe's not your boyfriend. A lot of women give men these titles they don't ask for.
00 Reply- 381 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
+1 ySounds like you are insecure but I can't blame you, most women are insecure.
00 Reply
Anonymous(30-35)+1 yDon’t act like you don’t look when you see a dude you think is attractive 🙄. It’s just looking no harm in that.
10 Reply
Anonymous(25-29)+1 yBreak up with him and date a chick because all men look at other women.
00 Reply
Anonymous(18-24)+1 yYes, especially if he does it right in front of you and he knows it bothers but yet he won't stop.
00 Reply
Anonymous(30-35)+1 yYes break up with him. He doesn't respect you.
00 Reply
Anonymous(36-45)+1 yYes because it is way too early for him to do that
00 ReplyBreaking up over this 🤣. Come on
17 Reply- +1 y
She should, he clearly doesn't respect her enough
- +1 y
@purplegage I disagree. She needs to make it work by countering this problem by reverse checking guys out or tell him how he would feel if she started doing this
- +1 y
@purplegage agreed this boyfriends gotta go
- +1 y
@Apple1996 she needs to try to talk things first
- +1 y
@Apple1996 she should try a few times. In fact she should do it when he is doing it right there to make him stop to avoid a scene. If it doesn't work then she will need to accept it as is or break up
- +1 y
No, it should just be ended if she has already spoken to him. The person heard the first time, no need for it to be spoken about again and again. He'll abuse that.
Do the same thing but with men.
31 Reply836 opinions shared on Relationships topic. He’s an insensitive jerk
00 Reply
Anonymous(18-24)+1 yIf a man does that break up immediately.
00 ReplyMale nature
00 Reply
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