What is something to say for a girl to leave an abusive relationship?

[Anonymous]

What is something strong to tell a girl to leave an abusive relationship?

[Anonymous]

She's not going to leave him for you because she doesn't care about you. Just move on. You're not getting laid with her. Just pay for a hooker if it's that bad. Stop embarrassing yourself trying to get her to be with you. She's probably laughing at you with her boyfriend.

[provokeesmokee]

It isn't that simple. Abuse is hard to escape.

Be there, be supportive, give her resources. But you can't expect a single phrase to magically shift the mind of someone experiencing abuse.

[Asker]

I understand it's tough. I really do. Deep down I think this girl knows what's right to do like she told me but can't do it

[provokeesmokee]

Yes. That is what it's like to live with an abuser.

[Asker]

I have her many motivational words and even gave her an example of a girl I know and said "you want to end up like her?" I don't know what else to say. She said she broke up with her boyfriend but hasn't responded to me since Sunday. They're probably back together. I genuinely care for her because she said she is alone, she doesn't trust her friends because they say" oh don't worry ". She admitted to me she doesn't like him but yet loves him? I gave her real and some harsh words but she promised me she would not go back per say. I don't know what else to do.

[provokeesmokee]

You can't really do anything else. Just hope she can pull herself out of it.

But honestly? Not helpful to try to terrorize her more. She knows the consequences.

A result of abuse is impairment of judgement and ability to escape. It's one of the first things abusers work to instill.

Get her contacts with abuse helplines and safe houses. Then, that's all you can do.

[Asker]

I didn't mean to get angry with her. Just she was telling me and im thinking in my head "yesterday you told you broke up with him because you told him to change and he said... today you miss him, wtf i happening". So tried for two days to kind of help her understand and i was shocked to actually see DEEP DOWN she understands she needs to leave. I told her you broke up with this guy one time, now is the second time. Im trying my best to help her but she needs to realise this is not what a real man does to a woman. I did my research and helped her understand what he's doing and she is slowly getting it... i hope. She hansnt responded to me in two days so who knows. Im doing this because i care and i know two girls who went down this route and its very very scary what they do. beleive me. Overall a real man doesn't do that to a girl, period.

[provokeesmokee]

I hear you and I agree, but at the same time, that guy is a real human and also identifies as a man.

So he's a real man alright.

Humans are capable of being really shitty people. That's just a reality.

I know you come from a good place. That's awesome and admirable.

Thing is, this situation isn't about you or what you say or do. This is her situation and she is the only one who can really fix it.

You've done what you can. It's okay to be frustrated with her. But at a certain point, you need to start wondering if you can afford - mentally and emotionally - to keep having these convos with her. For your sake.

But you know, it's great you're really trying. She probably has a lot of other friends and fam who've given up on her. So it's really wonderful she has someone like you who keeps trying.

She's fighting this. You've definitely helped her see that. Now, her battle continues.

[Asker]

I went through some things as a child I cannot speak of here but if everyone gives up on her... Then no change will happen. I get what you're saying. I understand that. Yes I do agree now it's up to her actually. I'll leave it as is. I tried my best

[StarWarGirl]

Silence without explanation is better answer.

Telling just "I'm out" is sort and more than enough.

[Asker]

Got it, thanks