Which one is more important: Love or Stability?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Probably, at some point we all get over the age when we believe in fairytale love and we start appreciating different things.

A person who makes us feel peaceful, safe, protected, comfortable, stable.

Which one do you prefer?

I think probably the latter is better, true love grows overtime in a place where you feel peaceful and stable.

Updates

6 mo

Passionate Love VS Stable Love

[love_conquers_lust]

Chemistry vs. Commitment. Lust vs. Love. Passionate Love vs. Stable Love. Emotion vs. Logic. In Love vs. Love. Which one wins? Does the contest have a victor? Is it an endless waltz? Destined to tango for all eternity?

The ember ignites quickly. The fire that burns twice as bright burns half as long. A fire is maintained with a constant supply of fuel and burns faster with more air breathed into it. Too much air can snuff it out. Not enough can reduce it to ash.

I think true love is building something. Stone by stone, brick by brick. It’s stronger, lasts longer. It houses and protects the embers that ignited your attraction in the first place. I think Love IS stability. Follow your heart, trust your gut, and you can never go wrong.

[Joshydavid25]

I would say Love, because it can build stability.. A person that truly loves you, puts you and your well being over themselves.. Sometimes instability happens and having that person who truly loves you is one of the most encouraging things in the world.. Real love keeps somebody going when all else is lost.

[Joshydavid25]

So basically stable love.. 😂

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Love is not stable though… Passionate Love is a constant rollercoaster.

Oh and as for your advice the other day, I think even my smile looks intimidating kind of, that’s why nice guys are not so much into asking me out. I look too aggressive when I am in my mode 🤣

[Joshydavid25]

I mean I would say that Love is stable.. Not the Eros type of love.. That's not stable, but more like the love that grows.. The one that actually comes with putting someone's needs above your own. The one that supersedes romance and passion..

Also, I'm sure that's you in the pic, and well I guess I can see why the more laid back, maybe introverted guys would be a bit intimidated to talk to you.. Not only are you pretty but you also look like you wouldn't like the type of guy you like.. 😂

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Thanks…

And yep, I think I kind of look like a “bad girl” while I am not really a bad girl, at least I don’t act like one in real life. 😂

[Joshydavid25]

Hahaha.. Yeah I was trying not to say "bad girl" , but yeah you look like a woman I would look at and say ", she's fione, but she looks toxic".. 😂😂. I can't talk though, I also look a certain way despite being a fuddy duddy and a nerd..

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Oh no!!! I look toxic? 😂😂 Yeah from this angle I probably do.

But generally I was always an A student, always a good girl, but probably I didn’t look like one because my classmates were very respectful to me and never messed with me 😂 I guess looking toxic has its advantages.

That’s my look from this angle, I don’t always look like this haha

But naturally I guess, I do.

I was always into science and was also kind of a nerd like you say, but I can be the life of the party too.

One thing, I am not is a “bad girl”. I can totally be one, but I have always tried not to be.

And I like nice guys, however, it’s always the “bad guys” I attract. They act all sweet and cute with me but I still don’t like those types.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Yes, you kind of look tough, wouldn’t think you are a nerd too.

[Joshydavid25]

Hahahaha.. Not necessarily.. From the pic you don't look like an innocent pretty girl, but like more where she might know a thug or two.. 😂.. Who knows in real life you might look much more like a sweeter woman to me, but it seems that even then you look "intimidating". From your description you seem friendly and kinda outgoing but shy and reserved with romance..

It seems like a blessing and a curse with your looks.. That means that you definitely should flash that smile, and maybe give a little prolonged eye contact to the nicer guys.. Or you could shoot them a direct compliment.. I remember you said that you and your ex were long distance... So maybe you'll probably have to go that route again. 😂..

And thank you? 😂.. If you think so in the picture, you would definitely think so in real life.. At least at first glance until you seen me smile. We are very similar in that regard. I also like nice, nerdy girls, and I attract all types of women, but the ones who really seem to like me are... The ones I don't like.. The "bad girls".. And it's usually for a specific reason.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Oh, I seem to have forgotten to check it.

I am done with long distance 😳

We were together for a year, lived together, before the long distance. Long distance happened because of pandemic and It was very hard to shift into a new dynamic without the physical closeness.

Yep, I think you definitely don’t look like a nerd.

Haha, I feel like you describe me! I like nice guys, a lot! And I do attract “bad guys”,
Truthfully, I might feel physically attracted to them but I would not wish to act on it.

I want to feel loved and cherished and respected before I open myself up and I have a thing for nerdy guys.

How do you navigate when you attract the opposite of what you are attracted to?

Also, I do like nice guys but I don’t like pushovers.

I like men who have a strong mind, and are not afraid to show it.

But I don’t like typical overly masculine men who are attracted to me.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

And yes, in real life, I am a bit cuter, because my personality is far from my looks, so I often act in a way that makes men feel protective of me

They are very sweet and protective with me generally, I am very lucky with that.

[Joshydavid25]

It's okay I-I-I thought that was left here... In the darkness.. 😭😭😂..

I definitely feel that.. I prefer locally also, long distance seems like a hassle, closeness is where it's at.. In the right circumstances though, I probably would try long distance again. Only in the right circumstance.
So I totally get that one.

Thanks, I've been training my whole life... Just to hear those words "You. Don't. Look. Like. A. Nerd."

Like I mentioned it's not that you only attract bad boys just that they are the ones who are bold enough to come up to you. I can assure you the nice guys want to get at me, but they just need to man up and approach. You're disciplined enough to not go for the rowdy guy who is asking you out. It's understandable.. You may have to approach them sometimes though.. 😅.. Of course though nerdy guys are kinda in in a way. 😂..

I navigate it by either rolling with it or I just ignore it and work it up to approach the girls I like..

And yes totally get the type you like.. You still like masculine guys, just not loud, super macho dudes.. But more laid back nerdy guys who are still very masculine... Just quietly.. The guy who in the back of the group who is actually secretly kinda smart and funny and not a punk.

Yeah, I get that feeling from you. Really friendly, probably laughs easily, pretty feminine..

[Joshydavid25]

Thanks for MHO by the way!

[Cathy7734]

I recently listened to a psychologist who stated that respect is more important than love. While you can still betray, abuse, or deceive someone you love, if you respect them, you won't do any of those things.

[Anonymous]

Stability. There is a reason why passionate love draws you in but ultimately stability is more important. You can still love and respect the person you’re with even if it doesn’t give you those highs

[AviatorTom]

Stability is more important. Love is fleeting.

[mobiusforniner]

Love results in change. Every woman I’ve ever loved, while it may have not worked out, has taught me an important lesson in life. I walk forward, not crying because it was over, but smiling because it happened.

embrace what little moments you have and the special feelings you’ve shared. Id rather live a short life having loved and been loved than go forever in a stable world wondering if there was anything ever more.

this is your life. Own it

[Naruse]

The amount of people on here who are so beaten down they're like 'yeah I'd spend the rest of my life with someone I don't particularly like as long as I'm comfortable.' Why marry for financial stability? Being single is cheaper and you can get ahead of all the family men in your career. Sure you might end up alone but that's about on par with having a kids with someone you're contemptuous of. Sounds miserable.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t think anybody mentioned financial stability…

Emotional stability- have you heard of such thing?

I don’t feel that currently and I’d rather feel emotionally stable than love someone crazy and experience emotional rollercoaster.

[emeraldsaphire]

I think love is stability. Love is not a feeling it's a commitment. Its saying that we now have a connection. Different connects bring different kinds of love. There is platonic love, romantic love, paternal/maternal love, familiar love. And probably other kinds of love.

[Radicalash]

I think that fairytale love is something you experience with your first relationship but afterwards you realise their pitfalls. You reflect. You realise its better to look for safety, trust etc.

[NZGirl07]

In my opinion any healthy and happy relationship will have both. It's like the chicken vs egg debate. Neither can really come first. They're both equally important. If you love someone and put your all into your relationship it will be stable, if you are both always committed to making it work.

Sure you can have love that's not stable, or a boring relationship with no love that's stable, but neither of those things seem good to me. Only a relationship which has both can work.

[JacobJordan]

love without a doubt is the more important of the two. without love stability does not exist because the drive to provide stability requires love. Married man with 3 kids the love my wife and I feel is why our relationship is as stable as it is. our love allows us to function as a team. even before kids when our lives were suboptimal love kept us working towards a common goal together. supporting and encouraging each other. it culminated in stability and a family.

[Anonymous]

Neither. Being a hooker is most important. Love isn’t real and men don’t like stability. They love dramatic women that constantly cause arguments and fights and miserable times..

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I find hard to disagree.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

About men liking dramatic women. I am dramatic myself.

[Andres77]

Stability over passion in the long term. But passionate love is so intense it’s a tremendous temptation.

[LazerBean]

Stable love, but tbh I don't see why both isn't possible.

[Sevenpointfive]

why would a stable person ever choose stability? they wouldn't.

this question is for unstable people

[PositiveFlight]

Love, hands down. All good including stability is only possible with love

[silkjames]

All I know all my bills are paid my family happy I'm happy lol

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Congratulations haha

[Cheerfull009]

When you will be stable, many people will love you

[qqqqq0000]

My boyfriend provides stability and passionate love. So why choose when i already have both🤷‍♀️

[Jamie05rhs]

I thought love was already supposed to be stable?

What, then, is "fairytale love" (if it is not stable)?

[Jennz6]

A person that makes me feel “SAFE”

[balyai]

You have it?

[Jennz6]

@balyai I really do

[balyai]

Jennz6 that's good

[Anonymous]

love, why be cuffed to someone if you're not in love with them

[Likes2drive]

True love, it will get you through tough times

[Charliefretz329]

Stability definitely! It allows for true real lasting love to grow