Why do most people have a hard time understanding boundaries in a relationship?

[Finchie40]

Most relationships have set boundaries that both partners should follow for each other but sadly it seems most people can not follow boundaries which usually leads into double standards and resentments , so is being in a relationship with someone really worth the effort?

[lightbulb27]

I can think of two reasons, and maybe that isn't all of them:

Because they need something beyond that boundary... it's a need. They accepted it, but their fingers were crossed when they did it.

Because they accepted the boundary... but it's a need, so they gotta have it otherwise they are violating themselves. Opps... they didn't realize what they didn't know.

Because they fundamentally, don't like boundaries and thus reject any of them

Because they care only about themselves (selfish), not the other. e. g. they love themselves and their wants.

Because they care about the other and they don't think they should have those boundaries and plan to help them get past it.

Because boundaries are temporary... and moveable... after all, we are really talking about emotional boundaries, and emotions change.

ok... that's more than two.

I suspect the answer is... personality, emotional stuff...

[ProbablyClueless]

The problem is that most relationships and most people don't ever actually express their boundaries. So you use the word "set," but it's not clear that the boundaries were actually being set. Am I at fault for stepping on a landmine if no one tells me that the landmine was there?

[Anonymous]

People want to know how far they can go. How many times will you let them get away with something? Do you really mean what you said? How far can they push you? Sometimes this is intentional to get a rise out of you, and sometimes, its red flag territory.

[Finchie40]

To me it’s always a red flag territory, mainly because if things were going great in a relationship already , then why add fire to it? Why ruin a good thing?

[Bethany22]

Boundaries are difficult in that it's hard to know when you're crossing them. You just need to have lots of communication so as to know what each of you is comfortable with.

[IslaTheWitch]

The bonduaries must be accepted and understood by both partners. Most people in relationships don't even talk about it. Both apartments assume it's obvious what boundaries are, so there is no need to talk about them.

What people lack is a clear communication and consciousness that every person has own set of boundaries and assuming is not the way, how things should happen.

[bolverk]

Probably because they have never had solid boundaries/limitations set by their parent/parents while they were growing up, so they do not understand relationship boundaries or how to recognise them being set by another.

[NathanDavis]

it is not most, not the majority...

the inadequate are the minority

[DextroShade]

Whenever a man tries to set boundaries women will say he's toxic, insecure, abusive, or controlling.

[LemiaOfThunder]

Because it stops them for doing stuff they want to do

[BLP11520]

Relationships are worth it. Close friends can say more than casual acquaintances can. People should know better what to ask.

[Nikki1989]

It is not most, not even close.

[Anonymous]

Most people? That's not true.

[jahaims]

Most people are morons

[Anonymous]

Narcissists know no boundaries.