Am I a bad person for wanting to be pregnant?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend doesn't want kids right now but I think I do. At first I was like if I become pregnant I will abort the child but now I really hope I am so I can keep the child. But I know that would devastate my boyfriend and change our lives forever especially when we don't really have the means to take care of a child right now.

I'm probably not because I took a plan b twice since we had unprotected sex twice in two weeks or really one week. So the likelihood of me being pregnant is very slim but there is still a chance.

But we're both broke and live far apart.

So am I wrong for wanting to get pregnant now? Like am I a bad person for hoping he knocked me up?

Updates

+1 y

I realize I was being foolish in asking this question and wanting this when it is so unrealistic and bad to bring a child into a possibly terrible situation. It's selfish and downright awful to do.

[A_Bell]

Well, to become pregnant is the first act of being a parent. Do you want your child to be brought into the world with no biological father relationship or parents who do not get along? Isn't life hard enough.

A child isn't a thing or a gift to you to feel good about yourself. A child is a responsibility and looking out for your child's best interest should be number one.

As for your boyfriend, as long as you aren't lying to him about not using birth control, he loses his right to object when he enters you.

[Asker]

No I definitely don't. You're right, life is hard enough and I wouldn't want to make things even harder for any of us. You are so right. A child isn't something I should bring into the world just because I want one. It should be in the right timing and with both parents wanting the child.

Also I am definitely not lying to him. I took plan b everytime because I know deep down we aren't ready for this and I wouldn't want to do something like that without his consent. That would be dead wrong.

[A_Bell]

You sound like you know what you're doing.

[EmmaMary]

Congratulations on winning a Troll of the day award.

[Asker]

How am I trolling?

[EmmaMary]

Because you're whole story is a complete and utter load of nonsense.

[Asker]

It's not nonsense that I want to have a child.

[Asker]

But I guess you're right. This post does sound foolish and like I'm trying to be a troll when I'm not

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHO.

[exitseven]

Yes, you are not prepared to bring a baby into the world. You are not married and your boyfriend lives a long distance away and he doesn't even want a baby. That is a really shitty way to bring a baby into the world. Believe me, a baby is not as much fun as you think. its all fun and games until he pukes on you.

[Asker]

I know. I know. I just am not getting any younger either. I'm in my 30s and it just seems like I will not have much longer to reproduce.

[exitseven]

You need to find a new boyfriend and need to get your life together. You can do this but it won't be easy. Having kids is not for everyone. There are many couples that choose not to have kids. They travel and have activities while I was changing diapers and working all the time.

[Asker]

I don't think I need to get a new boyfriend but I do need to get my life together before I have a kid. I'm just being a bit foolish to think I could have one right now. My boyfriend is right. Now is not the time I guess. Maybe when I'm 35 or 36 will be the right time. I have a few years before that comes to pass.

[exitseven]

Today is the first day of the rest of your lifen

[FenixG45]

I can empathize with you. I too have that want, but in both our cases it's selfish and unrealistic!

[Asker]

Thank you so much. I appreciate you for empathizing. And like you, I realize it's selfish and unrealistic right now. But I hope one day in the future it can become a reality for us.

[FenixG45]

I hope the same for you!

[Asker]

Thanks!

[FenixG45]

Thank you for MHG!

[Asker]

You're welcome!

[Anonymous]

No, you're not a bad person, but you're not very smart. I question why you'd want to bring a child into this screwed up world that's looking at a third world war. WHY? To satisfy some urge you think is primal? On top of that, you have no money, so you're going to live on welfare. That's just brilliant.

[Asker]

I said it was foolish already. I shouldn't have even brought it up because it is indeed dumb.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Boyfriend? So you are willing to take the risk that this person will stay with you after a pregnancy he specified that he didn't want?

[Asker]

I guess you're right. It is foolish.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Yep, if being a single mother is your goal, this is surely the proper path.

[MissBoogus]

It’s ok to have baby fever, but it doesn’t sound like your situation is ready for that.

[Asker]

Thanks. You're right. It's not. I guess I just need to stop being so foolish to think that I could actually do this now.

[BarryLiverstone]

Make sure you tell him. I’ve had sex with someone who was “ baby crazy” and didn’t tell me

[Asker]

I'm not trying to trap him. I took both plan bs. I will only tell him if it didn't work. I don't think I need to tell him I'm "baby crazy" if I am not intentionally trying to get pregnant from him. I'm just hoping that I might be. That the plan b didn't work. If it didn't work then I will explain to him why I want to keep the baby and go from there.

[BarryLiverstone]

Whether the plan b works or not, tell him you want a baby. He deserves to know how you feel so he can make decisions

[Asker]

I think I was just being a bit foolish. I should just stop thinking the way I'm thinking and start focusing on getting my life together first. Then revisit this idea.

[LazerBean]

You're a bad person for many reasons.

[Asker]

Ok and those reasons are? Other than me wanting to have a kid now when he doesn't want to, I don't see how I'm a bad person for many reasons.