Is it weird to wanna be a good husband but not care about being a father?

[Anonymous]

[Lliam]

I never had any interest in kids. I wasn't even interested in getting married until I was 33 or 34. At that point, I had a couple more long term girlfriends and finally met my life partner when I was 40. We got married two years later.

She is 2.5 years younger. We had both lived full and fulfilling lives before we met but had never been married or had kids.

We've been happily married now for over 26 years, had a LOT of fun, and built a wonderful life together.

I turned out to be a really good husband once I was ready to settle down. And we're both glad that we don't have any kids.

[IslaTheWitch]

If you don't want to be a father, it's OK. Just make it clear with your girlfriend before any committed relationship.

If you are open to being a father or you are the father, it's weird. Being the father comes with responsibilities towards your child/children, and they are bigger than only money.

[HelpfulWoman]

if you have kids: yes its weird
if you don't have kids and plan to not have any: not weird. parenting isn't for everyone

[Tren58]

Do you mean that you want partner to care for, but don’t want children? Or do you mean that of you had children you wouldn’t put effort into caring for them?

[Asker]

The former.

[Tren58]

Not weird at all. Companionship is completely different than parenthood and fulfills different needs. I would just make sure you are with someone who feels the same way. Although, those desires can change over time, so there’s no guarantee that either of you will always feel that way. And that’s when it gets sticky.

But, I think either choice, you can build a very satisfying life.

[Asker]

I don't want kids and my girlfriend, her and kids don't exactly get along.

[Lliam]

Good take, Tren58.

[Nikki1989]

Your choice, but it is a red flag.

If you don't have what it takes to be a father, what else are you going to fail at?

[Asker]

What if I only seek women who also don't wanna be a parent?