Please enlighten me?

[Anonymous]

I was on my bf’s MacBook then found 5 videos dated on July & September 2020. I clicked them & apparently those were CCTV recording in the villa parking area showing 2 women that were naked.

So in 2020, his ex came to our country then stayed at one of his properties for free. She brought her friend to stay with her.
I have access to the CCTV & at that time I used to check on it every day. One day I saw her walking inside the villa naked! I told my boyfriend about this like why would she removed her clothes when she knew there’s CCTV but he said it’s her right to do what she wants in the house. Little did I knew that he actually saved the recording onto his computer & it’s still there until now!
The other 4 videos are video of the ex’s friend that are also naked. It looks like they don’t bother to wear anything within the villa proximity because there were no other people there with them.

I was so shocked. Why would he saved the recordings from the CCTV & keep them until now? He doesn’t save them on the photos app, but on pictures in finder. I didn’t say anything to him yet but I’m so tempted to get into his MacBook again & deleted those videos myself.

What should I do? Why did he do this? 🥲

[Oliverlogan263]

What the hell! That is so messed up of your boy to be keeping those videos of his ex and her friend naked. A few things here:

1) No way was it actually their "right" to walk around naked if there's security cameras. Creepy move on his part saving and hiding those videos.

2) He's clearly still hung up on his ex if he can't let those videos go. Major red flag he ain't over her still.

3) Don't delete them yourself - that would only cause more drama. Bro needs to own up to this weirdness.

I say tell him straight what you found. Ask him why the hell he's holding onto naked vids of his exes. Watch his reaction close - if he tries lying or twisting it, you'll know he ain't husband material.

You deserve way better than a guy sneaking around, disrespecting your relationship like that. His loss if he can't see how messed up his actions were. His ex can have him - go find a loyal dude who treats his girl right!

[Asker]

Thank you.

[Oliverlogan263]

You’re very welcome

[ColHathi]

You know why he did it 😏 Either he means to blackmail them (I'm sure that's not the reason), or the man was horny and he let his dick think for him. Could be he never actually looks at it though 🤷‍♂️ If he doesn't, he's probably just keeping the footage just in case.

If I were you, I would... not to sound corny, but I would think about how everything surrounding this makes me feel, and then confront him about it. Find a solution that makes you both happy. If you can't come to an agreement, then either deal with it or end the relationship :/

Maybe ending the relationship would be the right idea anyway? I don't mean to offend, but it sounds like there are some trust issues between you two :/

[Asker]

It just doesn’t make any sense for me. So he must be checking the CCTV everyday at that time & it’s impossible if he never looks at them. Why would he even save them for then?
He must have saved them cuz they’re naked & for him to watch them again occasionally. Men are just unbelievable sometimes..

[Lliam]

What's the big deal? They're from 2020. I would probably save them, too. LOL
It's like having old copies of Playboy magazine or something from back in the day.
It's like looking at pretty girls at the beach or other places.
Who cares?

I have photos and videos of nude women in my laptop. My wife doesn't care. She's not jealous. Of course, she doesn't snoop, either. That would be creepy.

[Asker]

We were together since 2019 & if it was me & I saw naked men on CCTV, I wouldn’t even think to save the recordings on my computer because what for? It’s disrespectful to your partner especially when you save those vids hidden from plain sight.

[Lliam]

I don't understand what is disrespectful. Is it disrespectful to look at any other woman than you? So you also ban him from looking at porn?

I've been married for over 26 years. My wife and I are 100% dedicated and loyal to each other. But I still appreciate the female form in art and in real life when I see it. My wife has even brought my attention to particularly impressive examples when we are out and about.

I still have photos of a couple previous girlfriends (I wish I had photos of all of them) just so that I can remember how beautiful they were when they were young. They are part of my life's memories.

What I do think is disrespectful is snooping through his computer. THAT is extremely dishonest and creepy. I wouldn't want to be with a person who would do such a thing.

[Asker]

1. I wasn’t snooping. He gave me his computer password. We have property business together & sometimes I use his computer to access some documents/contacts/property photos.
I needed to upload newest picture to the website so I went to his computer, while browsing the files & I saw those video files. I never noticed they were there before & somehow I noticed & found out about them on that day..

2. I’m a believer of when you’re fully satisfied with your sex life, there won’t be a need to please yourself by watching porn. Am talking about myself here because why would I masturbate when I can have the real deal? Unless.. I’m in a long distance relationship then maybe yes but both parties should be open about this to make sure this is okay for both of us. But in my case, when I’ve been living together with him for years, I don’t feel the need to watch porn alone unless we watch them together 🤷🏻‍♀️ I like watching Korean dramas when there are a lot of handsome guys there but that’s it. Like I said, if it was me & there were my naked exes on the CCTV, I wouldn’t even think to save the videos because what for?

What he did was just bizarre to me. Those were his ex & her friend, NAKED, & he felt the need to go through the CCTV recordings, checking what’s happening on those days & saved them? I’m just confused.
That’s why I’m asking the question here whether it’s just what all men do & I’m just overreacting or is it really something concerning?

[Lliam]

I see what you mean about not snooping. What you did was okay.

I still don't see the problem with the video's, though. And who says that masturbates to them? He just has them in storage. As I said, I probably wouldn't delete them, either.

Men and women are different. Women are less inspired by the sight of men's bodies. But men adore the sight of beautiful women, even if they are in a committed relationship with a woman they adore and have no thought of actually being with another women.

I, personally, see beautiful women the way I view art. The sight is charming and delightful.

I hate the idea of expecting a man to never look at another beautiful woman. It's oppressive. It shows insecurity, jealousy, and lack of trust.

So, yeah, I think you are overreacting. If I were you, I'd forget about it.

Besides, you can't hold onto someone by keeping them on a leash. Just be the woman he fell in love with.

[strateguy632]

what should you do? stop spying and pretend you didn't spy.

[Asker]

This is clearly not a solution. I mean why did he need to save those recordings? Is this normal behavior?

[ThrillSeeker01]

Ask him if he uses those videos to pleasure himself. See if he's honest.