Help me understand, please?

[Anonymous]

I was talking and texting with a man for years. (Long distance and never meet in person, but we had plans to meet and talked a lot about being in a relationship etc) Everything was going well. We texted daily, but one day, I woke up, texted him "good morning," and in less than 5 minutes, he replied, "Good morning," then after that we exchanged a few messages joking and laughing that same morning, everything was fine! But when I was going to text him something around 5 pm the same day, I saw I was blocked on whatsapp ! Just like that ! I'm embarrassed to say that I called him (regular call) but didn't respond, and I left a voice mail, 2 days later I called him again around 10 pm and 30 minutes later he texted me (regular text) "Don't comunicate with me again, thanks" and after that message I stop contacting him. I have no idea what happened or why he blocked me, but a month later, he unblocked me on whatsapp, but it's been a week since he unblocked but he didn't reach out (I'm not going to reach out, I'm respecting his wish and acting like I didn't even notice. But why? What does all of this mean?

[236color]

He has a new, local girlfriend who doesn't like his long distance pseudo romantic relationship with another woman. It's sad, you invested a lot of time and emotion into him, but this is the double edged sword of the internet. Long distance, no actual contact relationships can both protect you from rejection and ease your loneliness. The thing is though, that real life, flesh and blood relationships are much more compelling. You are a potential, maybe, she is a touchable reality. If you want to be that touchable reality, you need to do the face to face in a matter of weeks not years.

[Asker]

Seems to be a consensus. Everyone tells me he must have a local girlfriend, or maybe even he started living with her, but then why did he unblock me? 😕

[DreamLife7]

@asker he unblocked u so u can see he has someone so that u could leave him alone. The question is why are you stalking a man who doesn't want u? Get some self respect. I see why he got rid of u ugh too much

[spartan55]

It means that online 'relationships' are not real, and are a waste of time for all parties involved.

[Asker]

Lesson learned, I feel believing and trusting everything he said to me was a mistake.

[spartan55]

Two best pieces of advice about online social media/messaging etc:

1) people can be whoever they want to be online

2) It is miles wide and inches deep.

[BarryLiverstone]

Inches deep? That’s what she said :)

[spartan55]

@BarryLiverstone
Awesome...👍

[DreamLife7]

HE doesn't LIKE YOU. GET IT THROUGH YOUR RETARD ASS SKULL. HE NEVER LIKED YOU. you're ANNOYING, YOU HAVE NO LIFE, you're NOT ATTRACTIVE, you're INSECURE , YOU TEXT ALL DAY he's SICK OF YOU. YOU BUG. IF HE LIKED YOU HE WOULDVE SEEN U. WHAT aren't YOU GETTING?

[Asker]

Hahaha so much anger towards a stranger 😂 that's what you use this app for? To insult strangers? 🤦🏻‍♀️

[DreamLife7]

Ur annoying.

[Jessica405]

My brother had exactly the same happen to him. He was in an LDR with a GAGer girl for 4 years. It suddenly went quiet. No explanation. He has never got over losing her.

As for the "why" in your case? Maybe found a local girl. Maybe just got cold feet.

[Iron_Man]

I remember this very well

[Asker]

I thought about that, that maybe he found someone else but I don't understand why did he unblocked me

[Jessica405]

Maybe he wants to keep the door open? Maybe he is hoping you will call him? Maybe too worried to call you in case you have a new guy?

[Jessica405]

@Iron_Man Been a few years sincce they split.

[Iron_Man]

It’s now four years later

[Asker]

Trust me, I've been dying to at least text him, but after he said to never contact him again, I am respecting that

[Jessica405]

@Iron_Man Time flies. Yes, it was before covid.

[Iron_Man]

Oh wow sad story

[Jessica405]

Wait a while longrer. Then just ask if he meant to unblock you. A straight forward question. Nothing else.

[Asker]

That sounds good. We were even talking about me moving to the city he lives like 2 weeks before he blocked me. Everything is so weird

[Iron_Man]

Text him soon

[Asker]

Soon? How soon do you suggest I do it?

[Iron_Man]

How long has it been exactly since the last time you talk to him? Maybe on Valentine’s Day contact him

[Asker]

A little over a month. He blocked me on January 2

[Asker]

And a week ago he unblocked me

[Iron_Man]

OK try Valentine’s Day

[Asker]

I'm honestly scared to do it

[Iron_Man]

You have to do it. Its OK you’ve known him for four years. Don’t let it slip away. Try the best you can.

[Asker]

But what should I say? Do you suggest the same the other person said to text him? He told me not to contact him that night ☹️

[Iron_Man]

People speak in the moment of anger and they don’t mean it contact the guy and get peace of mind

[Asker]

When he texted me that I felt like he was angry at me but I swear I didn't do anything to him ! No reason for him to be mad at me etc

[Iron_Man]

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner that’s the perfect time to contact him and then you’ll soon have your answer

[Iron_Man]

what’s wrong with this guy? Why would he act like that? Is he a catfish? How long have you known him?

[Asker]

4 years

[Iron_Man]

That’s a real long time for him to act like that

[Asker]

We talk on camera etc he is not a catfish but I don't understand him

[Iron_Man]

I don’t know he must be extremely sensitive

[BarryLiverstone]

To understand, he has challenges in his life and has withdrawn to desk with them

[Asker]

You think maybe that's the reason he unblocked me?

[BarryLiverstone]

Could be part of it. Like he felt blocking you was in the moment and then unblocking after he calmed down. Has he shared any challenges or issues in life recently?

[Asker]

He never told me about bad stuff happening in his life. He was very quiet about it, he once told me he didn't like talking about that kind of stuff.

[BarryLiverstone]

If you talked to him for years and he didn’t share any negative stuff. Then he wasn’t treating you as a real person. I’m sure you all had nice conversations but he was willing to open up. Made it easier for him to block you, right?

[Asker]

Right, every time something good or bad happened to me, I grabbed my phone instantly to tell him all about it, but he never did the same with me

[BarryLiverstone]

How old is he?

[Asker]

38 years old

[BarryLiverstone]

Ok, he’s 38 and single? I don’t see why you would want move to his town.

[Asker]

The only reason was to be with him

[BarryLiverstone]

Dodged that bullet.

And you wanting to move there was a threat to him by the way

[Asker]

But it was his idea ☹️

[BarryLiverstone]

Not really. He may have suggested it in the role play you all had but was he serious? Nope

[Asker]

Oh ☹️ but he was even talking about getting married, etc

[BarryLiverstone]

Hmmm. But it’s not a relationship if you had not met irl and if he wasn’t sharing his life

[Asker]

Exactly! See? Everything is so weird ! 😩

[BarryLiverstone]

Not weird. It’s how it is. Hope you can move past the idea of him because you really never knew him

[Asker]

I feel like I need to move on, and I know I idealized him and the idea of him but also feel like I need some kind of closure, I know ghosting is closure, but I also want to text him even tho I know I shouldn't just to know what did he unblocked me ☹️

[BarryLiverstone]

Don’t text him. It’s the pattern and when you do he will keep you locked up.

If you want closure write him a hand written letter and just don’t send it

[Anonymous]

Long distance + texting = one huge fail.