Parents crying because I don’t want to be friends with sibling?

[Anonymous]

Me and my older sister have been fighting on and off for years. Growing up we never fought but as I got older I started losing weight looking better and I’m the first one in the family to go to university. She hates me and picks fights with me. It’s uncomfortable being around her and I’ve come to the decision to move on. It’s actually that bad. There is no being civil at this point. She gossips about me and tells my parents I’m horrible because I want nothing to do with her drama life. Her husband is mean and cheats on her, her daughter is a druggy and mean af, her son is autistic. It’s something I want no part of. I know that if I deal with her I will go down hill. Why won’t my parents love me for me apart from my sister? We are not twins we are 7 years apart. What do I owe someone who doesn’t like me? I’m so confused and irritated.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, that's a really tough situation. Family drama is the worst. From the sounds of it though, I think you're making the right call to distance yourself from your sister if she's constantly picking fights and talking shit about you. You gotta protect your own mental health and happiness first.

As for your parents, I can understand why they're sad about you two not getting along since you're family. But at the same time, they need to respect your decision here. Maybe have another talk with them and really emphasize how toxic things have gotten between you and your sis. Make it clear it's not about not loving family, it's about choosing not to subject yourself to abuse.

Reassure them they haven't done anything wrong, that you love them, and your relationship with them is separate from your sister. Ask them to support your boundary even if they don't totally get it. Once they see you're still including them in your life and aren't totally cutting off family ties, hopefully they'll feel better in time. Stick to your guns - you gotta do what's healthy for YOU. They'll come around.

[Lliam]

I wouldn't want anything to do with someone like that, either. It seems like associating with her and her dysfunctional family will cause you nothing but trouble and stress.
If your parents can't see that, then let them cry. They should be praising you for making something of yourself.

[Anonymous]

Hey, protect your peace. Sometimes the most toxic people in our lives are family and there’s no obligation to stay connected to them. I’m more about action, and not talking. That means if I’m done arguing and fussing, I’m just not going to do it anymore and you shouldn’t either. Stop fighting with your sister, stop fighting with your parents, actually I’d say stop involving them in your beef altogether because it’s hurtful to them and that’s not your intention. Not only that but in our 30s with older parents they are just very old fashioned and don’t understand. So Love your sister from a distance, deal with her when you absolutely have to and heal all the damage she’s done over the years. Your parents don’t have to like it but they will have to respect your decision.

[Asker]

I have stopped talking about it or dealing with my sister but my parents keep bringing it up thinking I owe her a friendship and we don’t get along at all. They won’t give it up

[ChicoFromThe305]

Then forget about them all, love em from a distance

[Anonymous]

Put yourself first. Before everything.

Keep a good distance to toxicity