What makes people so pretentious in relationships?

[Natasha2024]

In terms of lying about their feelings and intentions

[SeymourBill420]

I don't know. I do not lie about my feelings and intentions. Why do I not lie about my feelings in my intentions? Because when you've been online dating or trying to online date for 2 years, and you don't get one single date. So that means you know what else hasn't happened if you haven't had one single date. So, I'm not out here in the dating world to lie about my feelings in my attentions. Because, if I lie about those things and it's just going to be longer than I have to wait to try and get a first date, and just because I have a first date that doesn't mean it's going to Resort into a relationship. So I got a major uphill battle to go. Especially in the 21st century. So, I don't lie about my feelings and my attention. I want everybody to know my true me right off the bat. And if you can live with it good and if you can't then there's the door before it's open for you. So no I don't lie about my feelings and my intentions. Definitely not my feelings that's for sure. Women never hold back their feelings. So why should i? I express every single feeling that I feel almost.

[Natasha2024]

And thats how it should be!! People should just be honest with themselves.

[SeymourBill420]

That's right. I have no envision on becoming a lawyer one day or I don't not have a 14-in penis. So, I definitely don't need a lie about that. I'm definitely pretty balling as it is. I mean, being the only person on the face of this Earth that actually tells the truth, you're pretty balling at that point. So, I don't have any reason to lie to make myself look any better. I look fine as it is telling the truth. And, if nobody likes the truth, I can show them were the door is at. If nobody likes me for me. Oh well. But it's definitely better being somebody else and then changing to who you are sometime later like a lot of people do. I don't do this. If I'm getting to know you for a serious relationship, what you see now is what you're going to get later. Because, if I lie, I'm only wasting my own time. And, I ain't got much more time to waste on a dating app that's for sure. Very wasted 2 years. That's long enough

[Al_Musafir]

To please and exploit. They know that by seeming good and genuine will sweep people off of their feet and make them put more effort into the relationship or at least make them agree to their needs. That's why they do it. Intentions could be exploiting their partner in terms of wealth, sexual intercourse and/or merely attention and validation. It's immoral but highly common.

Another reason could be their underlying insecurities and low self esteem and abandonment issues. They feel like being on their best always so as to keep their partner failing to do which may result in abandonment.

[Minahh]

Because they're a pretentious person. Simple as that.

[LazerBean]

Immaturity and /or poor upbringing

[Natasha2024]

Makes sense!!! I think some people use their upbringing as an excuse because at the end of the day you get the choice to be who you want

[LazerBean]

I do totally agree that ultimately people could change if they truly wanted to. But having a bad upbring and genetics definitely makes it harder to even want to make that choice.

[veganrogue]

I think it's a lot to do with a lack of self-esteem and not being comfortable in one's own skin. When I was much younger, like most people, I would really care about what other people thought about me, and I would adjust my behavior in a manner that I thought would make me more attractive in their eyes. But that obviously just a lie, because it isn't who I really am.

I think there is also a fear of being vulnerable, to bare you're desires to somebody you may really like, and you want them to like you too, so you only present your 'idealized' self for fear of rejection, or shame of what they may discover if they new the 'real' you.

In terms of intentions, some people just want sex, but they are too afraid to admit it, so they lie about their intentions.

[smne35]

More than likely they want something from you, instead of being up front honest some people will just bs you to the very end

[DarkWinterNights]

Selfishness. Too many people enter into a relationship expecting it to make their lives better with little to no effort on their part.

[Anonymous]

This chat box only allows like 3000 characters. I couldn't fit it all in just 3000 characters.

[Natasha2024]

Write multiple replies if that helps?

[Opinion Owner]

No you're asking for simple response to unsimple question.
For one thing people are not cookie cutter. They don't all do the same things for the same reason.

[Natasha2024]

I understand what you're saying but Im simply asking an unsimple question, the answers don't have to be simple.

[Opinion Owner]

OK well I'm just going to abstain from answering then. Because I don't like giving half answer that don't reflect my full view.
Best of luck to you in getting the answer you're searching for.

[Opinion Owner]

How bout this, what do you mean when you say "pretentious" specifically? I might be able to give you a more specific answer if I knew more specifically what you're talking about.

[Natasha2024]

Okay I'll put my question in more context. When i found out i was pregnant, my ex boyfriend convinced me not to have an abortion and he said he would take full responsibility and that he didn't want the baby to grow up without a father. ⏩ Now he shows no interest whatsoever in the babys life and if the baby is okay and he's doing absolutely nothing to be a responsible father. So in that context why would he pretend he wanted to play a part in the babys life if he knew it's not something he's going to do? After finding out about the baby i made it clear to him that things were going to change and that if he felt like he needed to leave he should be open and mature about it. So why would he still choose to continue pretending like he was interested at all

[Opinion Owner]

Well I don't know for a fact that he did. Going by your age I assume he's of similar age. And he might have not fully appreciated the awesome commitment he was making when he said that. It's not a day, a week or a month. It's till that kid is an adult. And to an extent, it NEVER fully ends. So it's possible he didn't think through the responsibility and ramifications of such a commitment.
But let's assume what you're saying is correct. Some guys want to trap women, same as some women want to trap guys. He might have thought, if you're pregnant, if you have a child that takes you off the market. Or at least drastically reduces your market value. That puts him (in his mind at least) in the "power position". Because it reduces your options. Understand?
It's possible, I'm not saying this is the case. But it's possible he's acting this way because he knows by you having that child you would then be inextricably linked for the rest of your lives. And in his mind that means he can act wild if he wants you sort of just have to tolerate and accept it. Because what is your other option? By having that baby you've decreased your options.
All the more reason why you don't have a baby with a man unless you're POSITIVE about his character. Take as long g as you need to establish it, lest you end up in THIS situation.

[Anonymous]

Men have been taught that if we share our feelings it will result in our wives or girlfriends leaving us.. Taking our families from us and so on.. So it's best we lie or hide them..

[Joshydavid25]

They probably were pretentious the begin with, and it's just starting to show in the relationship..

[ChicoFromThe305]

Just wanting to make their life easier I guess

[Natasha2024]

Isn't it harder to pretend than to live your truth? It feels like too much effort

[ChicoFromThe305]

Not for some, for some it's easier to lie and fool

[Natasha2024]

That's crazy but its life 🤦🏾‍♀️

[ChicoFromThe305]

Yep fosho smh

[spartan55]

I don't think you know what pretentious means.

[lightbulb27]

They may not knkw themselves… generally fear …

[kingmaker21]

Immaturity...
Lies take too much effort..

[Christoff92]

Assuming fear

[DreamLife7]

He doesn't like you

[Anonymous]

ı dont know are they