Guys, Partner gets mad that I ask?

[Anonymous]

My partner was so upset with me for asking questions about if I had an impact on a decision. Example: we have a height difference, I'm taller, I asked him if he's keeping his hair big because of the height difference since I noticed he always had it short prior to us being together. he got mad because I asked. I told him I only ask because I can't read your mind. I know his mom gives him shit about the big hair, so I'm guessing that was the trigger but he said that he feels that I often make conversations about me when truly I am only asking out of love and care and to know how to best care and serve HIM. Your thoughts please

[dynamicyandere]

It’s good that you had good intentions.


But, the delivery could have been better.


Another way of asking would be, “Hey, just wondering, what made you decide to grow out your hair? I’m sorry that your mom gives you a hard time about it for whatever reason. That must be pain. But, I’m curious, what inspired you to decide on this hairstyle? I want to hear from you.”


A good thing to remember is that to assume is to make an ASS out of U and ME. 🙂


Lol, yeah he is quite defensive and sensitive about the topic.


But, whether or not he’s overly sensitive, it would be good practice to be careful not assume things and instead, just ask without assumptions.

[dynamicyandere]

must be a pain*

[Asker]

Well that's the problem. I ask to not assume and he gets mad that I'm asking, not just today but in any case, where I feel that maybe something I said or did might have impacted something. I would find it endearing

[dynamicyandere]

He shouldn’t be mad at you asking. You’re trying to communicate. If he expects you to assume things instead and get it right 100% of the time, then he’s expecting you to be a mind reader, which is impossible. It’s either you’re a mind reader or you need to ask and he should be willing to communicate with you.

[dynamicyandere]

In your delivery though, it’s important to not accidentally include an assumption within the question you’re asking. 🙂

[BadApple69]

Seriously short guys can be so sensitive about their height. My suggestion don't bring his height or anything about it up.

[meh51]

He's childish lol

[Asker]

So do you think he's insecure about the height difference and afraid to admit so instead turned it on me that it has nothing to do with me and that I always make it about me, even though I only ask questions about my influence because we're together and I'm trying to be a good partner