Why is it that whenever a man goes through anything bad they start treating their partners bad as well?

Question

Lol literal pms, thoughts?

ShadezMcgee · Accepted Answer

I have dealt with women that do the same thing, so don't single them out here.

Bottom line, it is imperative to take a deep breath when frustrated, stressed or angry to deliver a response suitable to what is going on between the partners. For example, my girlfriend a few months back lashed out at me because she was on an emotional high dealing with one of her pets that had a medical issue. We spent all morning calling vets to get insight on it and they were telling her the same thing of needing to schedule an appointment to get her pet in to be seen and that it would cost x amount of dollars when she just wanted an answer.

It got to the point she misheard what one vet tech said and we were put on hold. She went into pessimistic mindset saying they forgot her while she was on hold waiting and then when she misquoted what the tech said and I corrected her, Holy God, you would think I called her the worst name in the universe. Snapped at me, said "Don't argue with me on this! I know what I heard! Shut up!"

The amount of restraint it took me to not snap back and merely stay quiet as she vented and I listened was palpable. The vet tech came back on and she talked with them while I went to the kitchen to take a couple of deep breaths to calm down otherwise I would have snapped at her or straight up left the house.

When we talked about it later, I told her I was disappointed with the way she snapped at me and I did not like it. Told her I felt invalidated and insulted for merely correcting her on something she heard wrong. You know how she responded?

She apologized, but she still gave me the impression she was validated to lash out because she was emotionally distraught. Never said anything about not doing it again which I will be sure to correct her if she does do that again, but the point is this. Do women get a pass for this or are they held to the same standard of not flipping out?

So let's flip the question. Why are women allowed to flip shit and snap at their partner when they get emotional?

Lynx122 · Accepted Answer

Well it takes energy to be patient and in control of your emotions even when things are difficult. Maybe if a guy is stressed out he has less patience with you and that's what you're noticing because he's trying to keep it together in other areas so the things that usually not too big of a deal annoy him now because he's trying to deal with all this other bullshit and he doesn't have room for more. That has happened to me before anyway. But I don't know if it's your situation.

bobalife · Accepted Answer

generally, these types of people don't know how to manage their emotional well-being and stressors by managing healthy coping skills. But they projected it onto someone close or happened to be there. I don't think it is healthy if it is occurring frequently.

wolfcat87 · Accepted Answer

Anger transference, they never learned to stop the cycle and deal with their emotions in a healthy way without pushing them onto someone else. Very common toxic behavior.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

A lot of chicks don't realize they are a source of constant stress... not saying that's you, but some are. Usually, a guy can deal with it until something pushes the stress level even higher than it was. That might be when he lashes out at whatever is in front of him.

Why is it that whenever a man goes through anything bad they start treating their partners bad as well?

On the other hand, it could be a case of kick-the-dog syndrome. ... You know, like, a dude that is getting treated like shit at work and he can't talk back so when he comes home, he kicks the dog for no reason out of that repressed anger.

Flatmanlewis · Answer

That’s far from true. In fact a ‘man’ would never do this. A boy might. A person who is male might. But a ‘man’ (by my understanding of the term) would not treat people he cares about this way. In fact, those are the people he pushes closer to and invests more in, when things go wrong.

JacobJordan · Answer

That is very untrue. Though from personal experience when going through stressful moments I have quite by accident been a bit more blunt and forceful with my wife than intended. She thankfully knows it is never intended and gently reminds me to be careful how I talk. And I apologize because I hadn't realized my voice had changed.

Amara_09 · Answer

I have seen women do it too….. and we should never ever treat our partners horrible regardless of what we are going through.

If I am going through shit, I will never treat people like shit because they are not at fault here.

HawkPerception · Answer

I think you're only talking about a particular type of man because it doesn't matter how shitty my day goes. I never take it out on anyone. If anything, I'm usually the one that gets shat on in relationships from bad moods.

DaBiggestBird · Answer

Probably just one of those people who need to go crazy for a little bit when they’re upset and they’ll feel better afterwards. It’s like taking a nap to recover from a headache. It works sometimes

boggboss · Answer

Anyone thats under a lot of stress can take it out on lived ones if they don't know how to deal with it or feel suffocated whilst being stressed

Zestyassmf1997 · Answer

I think that, unfortunately, it’s a pretty common behavior. Sometimes it’s not even intentional. People often say that positivity is infectious. But they seem to forget that misery loves company.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I don't do that, but most people in general (male or female) do that because they're childish idiots.

jahaims · Answer

That isn't a male trait. That is just a weak immature person.

WhitneySnow · Answer

They take their anger out on their partner and blame her

Anonymous · Answer

You just can't spread hatred like that without context.. what's wrong with these male bashing posgs these days?

Anonymous · Answer

Emotionally immature people do this, not men.

Anonymous · Answer

They don't usually treat their partners bad, they expect some support and cooperation from their partner, if you can't do that at least leave them alone

Likes2drive · Answer

They are probably just venting, like women do to men when they’re mad, but I don’t usually do that to anybody

myloveforuisinfinte · Answer

I want to know this too😶

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

I say they should seek therapy.

jaskin777 · Answer

I was thinking the same damn thing

Crankor · Answer

Because they are mentally weak

Keith469 · Answer

Because those particular men are abusive.

HouseMoat · Answer

Did you know men can PMS

Roudyrebel8 · Answer

I think that can hold true for both sexes

In_Trance · Answer

For the same reason women do

whistlingwh0res · Answer

All men are thief. That's why

Anonymous · Answer

Just lucky I guess.😆😆😆

Why is it that whenever a man goes through anything bad they start treating their partners bad as well?

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