Is it easy confusing love with loving the idea of being in love?

[Anonymous]

It seems that love has gotten confused over the years and even lost its value. Is it easy for people to really confuse really loving someone vs loving the idea of being in love, the idea of love?

Updates

+1 y

For instance fantasizing about them 24/7 and seeing them perfect, being on cloud 9 over them, desiring them so much... that's not love.

[Purpleronnie]

Yeah you have a point there and yes that is a factor. You have a tendency to exaggerate the positives and minimize the negatives when you are “loved up” with a person. Generally this is “New relationship status” then 1 year down the line you see the whole person and realize that you may have glossed over or not seen the flags !

[bobalife]

Love this question, I had a talk about this with a friend recently. I think it’s definitely easy for people to fall in love or enjoy an idea of a person, but not really see them for who they really are or can falling into the idea someone is trying to appear to be someone else they’re not. It’s pretty common why a lot of relationships don’t work out when they realized the lust and infatuation is faded…

[IslaTheWitch]

I think people much often fall in love with their idea of another person. We don't put enough effort into getting to know people. We base on our assumptions and don't ask questions...

So with time we learn and discover we loved a different person...

I don't really think many people confuse being in love... they just not always love the real, existing person.

[Anonymous]

For women it is. Less so for men. Because men have the ability compartmentalize more than women. So while men like the idea of being in love as much as women we have a much easier time controlling those feelings. We don't live for the emotional highs as much as women. We can apply logic to them much easier then women. And so when it doesn't add up. We can say "no". "This is bulls***".

[Asker]

yeah I've seen more women (a few men too; it can happen) putting up with a cheater or even a jobless bum that's a drug addict because ''oh the feeling, but I love him'', failing to see the real person that's in their eyes.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh yeah men can to. I've been guilty of that in the past. Anyone can make a mistake. It's when you don't learn from your mistakes that it becomes a real problem.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Yes I think the internet and these long distance relationships where they’ve actually NEVER met IN PERSON has made it even worse.

[Olivier-628]

I agree. Anything you can get easy you'll lose easy.
And people say that they had a relationship for 3 months. That's not learning true love 😒.

[SotiCoto]

Probably, given how often it happens.