Should I stop sharing my grief with her?

[Anonymous]

I've been talking to this girl and getting to know her a lot for over a month. We're not dating but she said she has some interest.

Recently I had a family member who took their own life, and it's weighing on me a lot. I didn't want to tell her about it, but it just spilled out when I saw her over the weekend. She has been very caring, supportive to me, and offered a listening ear. I appreciate it, however, I'm starting to think I should stop talking about it to her. Even though she's been very supportive, I can't help but think I'm burdening her. I'm going through a lot of sadness and grief right now, and I don't want to scare her away or lose her because honestly I'm afraid of sharing too much.

On the other hand, our dynamic is built on honesty and communication, and I don't WANT to stop talking to her during this time. I know she overthinks too, and I don't want to seem distant or that I've lost interest in her. I know it's alright to be a little selfish right now, but I don't want to hurt her feelings.

I don't know what to do.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude that's really rough what you're going through with your family member. Losing someone close is seriously the worst. You're definitely not overthinking opening up to this girl though - sounds like she really cares about supporting you in your time of need.

I know it's natural to worry about venting too much or scaring her away. But honestly I think if she was gonna bounce, she would've by now. She's proven she wants to listen and be there for you. Keep letting her - that kind of emotional intimacy is important in a relationship, even if you guys aren't official yet. Bottling it up probably won't do you any favors either.

My advice would just be check in with her too - like let her know you appreciate her ear, but don't wanna be too much of a downer. Ask if she's ever not up to talk about it but be honest with how it's helping. I think keeping the communication open both ways shows you care about her feelings as much as her caring about yours.

This is also bonding you guys closer through a tough time. When the grief eases up, you'll have that connection and she can still be around for good days too. For now lean on each other - that's what relationships are about. You've got this dude, just don't stop talking to her if it really helps. You both seem to want the same thing.

[Anonymous]

You said "Our dynamic is built on honesty and communication"

So just tell her exactly what you told us here , be open

[Anonymous]

Wants and needs are so different. You can want to talk to her because you don’t want to lose her, but need to focus on yourself right now and heal. If this were an established relationship I’d say to stick together, but during this time where you’re barely learning about one another, your trauma is a lot to put on her shoulders. You should be single, find a therapist and heal. Then when you’re in a better mental space, if it’s meant to be then she will still be available.

[SolitarySolace]

She’s, stop, she’ll use it against you