Would you stay in a relationship w/ a woman that wasn't physically attractive?

[Vegasrunner]

Maybe she was attractive at one time but got old, fat etc.

[Flatmanlewis]

Yes or no, depending on circumstances.


In order to even be with a woman she would have to be attractive, at least to me. From that starting point I’m generalizing two ways she could lose her looks or attractiveness.


A/ She just ages as we all do and at a certain point the beauty on her outside will not be what it once was. Seeing as how at this point we would have had the bulk of our lifetime together then I think I’d see a different and deeper kind of beauty in her built on a foundation of life experiences, memories, and comfort. Of course I’d stay with her - I’d be a fool to walk away from that.


B/ She just decides to absolutely let herself go gaining weight, dressing poorly, and neglecting her overall appearance. I’d definitely bring up these issues before it got to a critical stage but I’d expect positive change. I’m not looking for a 225lb WalMartian for a wife, anymore than she wants to see me abandon the path of life I’ve chosen when we met. Dating is assessing a persons overall compatibility in our life and for our own needs, as much as what we want to give for them.


We bought into who we were when we met. Any radical change to that formula is problematic. I suddenly go from being a polite, well groomed, loyal man, making a stable income to join a garage band or sell my finger-paintings by the boardwalk - every single one of my wife’s gal pals would support her leaving me. She swells up eating chips and candy all day wearing sweat-pants and crocs every day, we have a problem.


We live in a free society but loving somebody means also maintaining a personal standard and being what your partner needs too. Individual freedoms also come with consequences.

[At3mis24]

Being what your partner needs to? Ow! Never, I'll stay single... and free to be myself!

[Flatmanlewis]

Well, it doesn’t mean changing to be with somebody but it does mean supporting and loving them a certain way. Being aware of, and sensitive to, the type of fulfillment they need in life. You’re not wrong though. It’s very mature to decide if that is or is not for you. I admire your self-awareness.

[Craftsman]

Physical beauty and attractiveness, in the Fashion Magazine sense, tends to fade rather rapidly. What does not change quite so abruptly is the person herself. In my experience, the so-called less attractive folk have learned how to be more charming, witty, fun-loving and all around more pleasant to be with. The so-called attractive folk often have not learned how to be people with some personality and depth.

The people I've known and the long-lasting relationships I've seen all have been drawn to one another by something other than the skin-deep appearance. I've come to believe that the heart and soul of the person inside is the gift given one another, not the wrapper, however pretty the outside wrapping may be.

[Shiningtempest]

@Craftsman Why do you believe physical beauty & attractiveness, in the fashion magazine sense tends to fade rather rapidly?

[Craftsman]

@Shiningtempest Most people do not age well. We do see some who are extremely attractive into old age, yet those seem to be in the minority. Fashion, and beauty, is primarily marketed to the relatively young, with models and examples of that demographic being depicted in articles and magazines. Most men develop 'dad bodies' with expanded midriffs, sagging jowls along with thinning and graying hair. Most women also surrender the firmness of youth to gravity, with girth often expanded. For some it is rapid, for others it is gradual, and for a few who can afford it the plastic surgeon can stave off the ravages of time.
Then again, much depends on how one defines time, rapidity, and ravages.

[handsomelad70]

I'm the exception which proves the rule about people aging poorly (though men seem to age better than women). Then again,"BLACK DON'T CRACK !!!""

[4ngelic]

if i was a guy i wouldn't date a girl i wouldn't find cute in the first place. but like let's say she lost her looks and isn't so sexy anymore and that i wasn't able to stop the process, i think it really depends. if it's weight gain, if i actually loved her i'd try to get her to lose weight. the more i'd love her the more chances and time i'd give her. if it doesn't work at all then i would think about breaking up. because i wouldn't want to be with someone i dont find attractive ultimately. if it's getting too old, depends on wether i'm young or the same age/older. if i'm young then i think i probably would. if i was the same age or older no because i dont think that would bother me at that point and i'd also be old and not attractive anymore

[Vegasrunner]

@4ngelic A man aging doesn't diminish his attractiveness to women but a woman aging does

[4ngelic]

lol no, guys get uglier too. women just hit the wall earlier. honestly i dont find guys past 45 sexually attractive at all. and 60+ is horrible especially the elderly

[Vegasrunner]

@4ngelic Maybe, but a man's physical appearance is not his main commodity. Women on the other hand only have their appearance to attract men. Who u personally are attracted to is irrelevant as what matters is what women want in general not what one random women thinks.

[Seinna]

If you only are in a relationship with someone because of their physical attractiveness then why be in a relationship in the first place? Especially as a man, wouldn't it be more convenient to just pay for sex with young and attractive prostitutes? But that's not why people get into relationships so they would likely stay if with time the physical attraction decreases but other things that connect them stay.

[Vegasrunner]

@Seinna Excellent question. Men only value women for their physical appearance so that is the main thing that would allow them an opportunity to get into a relationship. In America prostitution is illegal, although I'm not sure why. Also men look at other guys who get a prostitute the same way women look at women who are slutty. Anyone can do it so it's looked down upon.

[Seinna]

Really, all men value in women is their physical appearance? Says you? And the main reason they prefer to be in a relationship over going to prostitutes is their fear of what other men would think about it? Let me guess, you're perpetually single, otherwise you wouldn't be asking such stupid questions at your age. SMH, our civilization is doomed.

[sage2021]

@Seinna
But let's face it. When you wake up each morning it's so nice to see a person you are attracted to. So I think it's very important if it's a lasting relationship or marriage.

[Seinna]

@sage2021 oh yeah, definitely.

[Vegasrunner]

@Seinna "All" isn't a prerequisite for truth. All people don't vote but we still have elected officials. Enough men do, that it shows up in everyday practice. Funny how you ignored the part about prostitution being illegal. I have had at least one woman on my roster for almost 30 years. It's much more likely you're single seeing how you are clueless about this basic male standard.

[Seinna]

I ignored it because it's irrelevant for anyone who wants to take advantage of it, how is that even an argument. Or perhaps you think that because it's illegal, it is unavailable in your country or you wouldn't know how to access it. Let me assure you, it's easier than you think. At least one woman on your roster? Does sound like being single with benefits - you change them once they lose their attractiveness with age and that's where your question came from? You're confused by what you see around, people actually being in long term relationships, often for their entire lives? I'm not arguing that physical attractiveness is crucial for most people, especially men. I could even believe that for many men it's the most important factor, but the only one? As you yourself noticed, men wouldn't be getting and staying in relationships with women if that was the case. And I'm married and so are most men at your age in every culture in the world. US is actually the weird one out, the decadent civilization about to collapse upon itself taking the rest of the western world with it. It is the Mystery Babylon from Revelation 17.

[Vegasrunner]

@Seinna The fact thats it's illegal is what makes it inconvenient, which is in direct response to YOUR statement. If I have a roster than by definition I'm not single. Not that it matters as relationships are a female metric of success not a males. Age isn't the metric I use to determine if I get rid of a woman, most of the time it's just wanting variety. For men physical appearance is the most important one, if a man's not attracted to a woman she doesn't have any other value to him. Its good that you found a man however in the US as w/ most cultures your value is tied to the value of the man that chose you. As for most men, most men struggle to attract multiple women so thats not a category want to find myself in.

[At3mis24]

Only physical appearance? Nooo! That's impossible, you're wrong!

[AI Opinion]

Diving into the world of love and attraction, it's key to remember that what truly glues a relationship together is often found beyond the surface. Sure, physical attraction can spark the flame, but it's the emotional connection, shared values, and those quirky little moments that fan it into a roaring fire. Age and physical changes are inevitable partners on the journey of life. If the relationship is rich in understanding, respect, support, and love, these aspects can outweigh the physical changes. In my playbook, sticking with someone because of the depth of the connection rather than just their cover art is what enduring love stories are made of! Let's not forget, everyone's attractiveness passport has an expiration date, but love, now that's timeless. 😏💘

[123Justme123]

Honestly I have been in a relationship with someone that I didn't find very attractive. They were just a great person and I loved being around them. It didn't last very long but we remained friends for years. My current girlfriend doesn't think she is attractive. When we first met she was skinnier and absolutely gorgeous. After having kids and putting on some weight she is still just as beautiful sexy and as gorgeous as the day I met her. There is a lot to be said for a true connection between 2 people. True beauty comes from within its not all about looks and body type or shape. I have been in awe of her since the day we met. To this day 14 years and 2 kids later she still turns me on just by kissing me or touching me. She is my one and only.

[Princesspeach1411]

Attraction should not be based on just how a person looks. What is their personality like? How do they treat other people? What are they like with kids? How do you feel when you are with them. These are the more important questions I’d be asking. If you are only with this person because of how they look, then you may have some work to do when it comes to what you want from a long term and lasting relationship.

[Vegasrunner]

@Princesspeach1411 I'm talking about for men. Men don't care about those other things in women, the only thing we care about is os she hot or not.

[sage2021]

I know a lady that was married for many years but she gained so much weight, it's like she wasn't the same person.

When she got up to 300 pounds he left her and got another girlfriend.

Then because he left her, she lost 150 pounds but it was too late!

[sage2021]

If I was a guy and was attracted to a woman for a long time then grew out of the attraction it would be hard to stay with someone you aren't attracted to anymore. But you would have to be a superficial person to leave a great person just because you don't find her attractive.

[Vegasrunner]

@sage2021 if a woman gains that much weight then she doesn't have discipline so she can't be that great of a person.

[Keyboardkat]

Guys tend to feel, if she doesn't care about herself, she obviously doesn't care about me, either!

[At3mis24]

Yes, of course! For some women, their appearence isn't attractive, but their personality is.

[Anonymous]

Well I’m not attracted to women or females because I’m straight.
Anyway just pretending I got a boyfriend and he added a lot of weight, started eating very unhealthy and felt no determination to lose it. That’s a turn off for me. It would tell me he is lazy and weak minded. I think I would leave him for that.

[Vegasrunner]

@anonymous The question ask if a man would stay w/ the woman.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes I know it did but I’m not a woman so I just reworded the question for myself and added man instead

[Vegasrunner]

@Opinion owner doesn't provide any value to the question

[itsclearlynicholas]

I could handle it for a friend's with benefits slash short term relationship that was mutually agreed from the beginning either or, however I'd need to be somewhat physically attracted to her and she'd also have to be into me. If she was thinking I was ugly, then I'd rather remain single and give vice versa lol 😉😆 women huh lol 🤣😆

[BlondePollyPocket]

I stayed with my EX-BF and he was the fattest, and ugliest man I dated. Including being bald and the shortest. After a few years he grew on me but, then found out he was gay. It's possible to care for or have feelings for a person that isn't good-looking

[mariospapadopoulos12]

😯😯😯

[Vegasrunner]

@BlondePollyPocket For women yes, because a man has other traits that make him attractive. For women their only commodity is their beauty.

[At3mis24]

No, you're wrong! I'm terribly ugly!! But I want to be loved!

[Anonymous]

Odds are that's NOT the reason she's not attractive anymore. People gain weight, they get wrinkles. It happens as we age. You can fight it but only to a point. Mother nature will have the final say.

If I didn't want to stay in a relationship with her it's because mentally she's checked out of the relationship.

[electromagnetic]

Why would someone date a person they’re not attracted to in the first place? Let alone get in a relationship with them?

[Vegasrunner]

@electromagnetic Read the whole question.

[electromagnetic]

Then you clearly didn’t love her for anything other than her looks to begin with.

[Vegasrunner]

@electromagnetic Who said anything about love? Plus no a woman is only valued by men for her looks

[At3mis24]

No! You're wrong, stop with that or I block you!! I want to be loved, enven if I'm not Cameron Diaz!

[Vegasrunner]

@At3mis24 Lol, you may want that but no one has to give you want you want. You need to be providing value and for women unfortunately your value is tied to your physical appearance

[Reem12345reem]

everybody ages , u expect a woman to have no wrinkles at all when she ages?

[Vegasrunner]

@Reem12345reem Of course she will have wrinkles thats why you have to have the ability to replace her

[Unit1]

https://www.youtube.com/embed/9QE5DEQjmoQ

lets not lie to ourselves

[JacobJordan]

I'll give her a chance to get back in shape. Not going to stay with a lazy person

[Anonymous]

Should she stay with a man who she found out was superficial?

[Vegasrunner]

@dustybiker2 The question ask if he should settle for her.

[Opinion Owner]

I saw that. I answered it.

[Vegasrunner]

@dustybiker2 You answered a question never asked

[Opinion Owner]

I'm responding how I want to. You ask questions and people reply.

[Vegasrunner]

@dustybiker2 Yes, but it doesn't have any value because it isn't a response to the question asked. That's like me asking what color is the sky and you responding 28.

[Opinion Owner]

Of course it has value. You are only focusing on one side of the question. It takes two to make a relationship.

[Vegasrunner]

@dustybiker2 It has none. The question as men how they would handle a relationship issue not how women would handle one. Most relationship questions are presented from the female lens, this question demonstrates how difficult it is for people to accept male standards.

[Opinion Owner]

I think I make my point. Thank you for proving it.

[Vegasrunner]

@Opinion Owner if you were trying to prove that woman lack critical thinking then yes you made a point otherwise you wasted time and made yourself sound very foolish.

[LiamS95]

Yes I got into that relationship because I loved her and that would never change.

[DextroShade]

Getting old is something that inevitably happens to everyone, but getting fat is completely unacceptable.

[handsomelad70]

I don't believe I'd HAVE a relationship with a physically unattractive woman.

[Anonymous]

No. It doesn't make you sound like a good person saying it but it's true "looks do matter"

[Anonymous]

If I loved her then yes..

If there was no love then no

[Alex-Snow]

Love is more important then looks

[Vegasrunner]

@Alex-Snow Lol, now that was funny

[Cheerfull009]

I select mentally and physically fit partner

[Anonymous]

If she got lazy with her looks and health, no.

[JayBones2469]

Nope.

[Trekfan68]

Absolutely

[MaxUsefull]

Nope

[Anonymous]

Never.