What is something that you cannot or should not tell your girlfriend/boyfriend or wife/husband?

[BadApple69]

We all have secrets. Some we keep to protect ourselves and some we keep to protect others.
I’ll go first.
There is a very close friend of mine, she is married and I have a girlfriend now…there was a time when we both were single that we had a sexual relationship. Her and I are still great friends but her husband doesn’t know our past nor does my girlfriend. My girlfriend and her are friends also.

[Flatmanlewis]

There are plenty of things. I don’t think an exhaustive and detailed description of one’s sexual or relationship history is necessarily a good thing. Some details are probably worth sharing but not every single thing.


I also think if you had occasion to go to war or combat that is probably not something you should share in great detail with your significant other. Process that with a counselor or therapist.


Lastly, we all make mistakes and learn from them so it’s not necessarily important to share every bad or stupid decision you may have made in your youth. Particularly if it was something you recognize as a youthful indiscretion not a pattern of behavior.


As a golden rule: if you have regular or even occasional contact with anybody you have ever had sex with, or romantic feelings for, ever…I think you need to own that shit up front and be 100% truthful about it. That will NOT stay a secret forever and when it surfaces, if it wasn’t previously disclosed, it’s very damaging. I’ve seen it end marriages and relationships that otherwise were quite good.


A deception by omission is still a lie.

[Finchie40]

You have to ask yourself what is more important to you? Your current relationship or your girl friend that you had sex with in the past when you were both single? If you and your girl friend promised to keep it a secret from your current partners’ than you are probably best to keep it a secret because it was your past, and you were single at the time it happened , I know you are afraid of losing your friend ship with her , if you both told the truth about what you 2 did but again it’s none of your current partners’ business , because they weren’t a part of your life when that occurred , as long as you and your friend both agree not to say a word , than you are best not to say a word. It will only be bad if you 2 decide to have sex again. Then you both will be wrong

[BadApple69]

No… we won’t have sex again. That was a different place and time. But we maintained a good friendship for many years now.
BUT…. I wasn’t asking you to comment on my situation but to talk about what you would keep from your girl/guy.

[Finchie40]

You really shouldn’t keep any secrets from your partner period , but something like you described , is something that is best to kept unsaid , because it was something from your past , things that happened in your past is your past , but if you are keeping secrets that occurred during your relationship with your current partner , it’s best to be honest with them

[celesteT]

I had an sexual relationship with a coworker of the opposite sex before getting married to my husband. I still continue to talk to that coworker and look at him to be one of my best opposite sex friends. I wouldn’t do it again, but maybe having that connection made me feel closer to him in a way. We’ve been friends for 4 years and I would consider him to be my child’s godparent at this point because of how close we are. I would never tell my husband of the sexual interaction we had because I don’t want him to hate the person. As humans we all have flaws and make mistakes but this is one mistake I wouldn’t take back.

[BadApple69]

This is very similar to my situation…. Telling about the sex would only make our significant other feel bad having that person in our lives. There is no future threat. What’s done is done.

[jennifer_bloom]

I think I would not tell them I did not like their cooking or I did not like their appearance, unless it was something they had control over. I don't mean total appearance, but let's say I like his body, but don't like his cheek bones, or I like his cheek bones but don't like his waist appearance etc... I would keep it a secret.

[LaurenM1997]

I will always be honest with my partner I will tell him when I want to keep things private and he should respect that if there’s no respect there then there’s no trust in a relationship and should break up

[LaurenM1997]

Side note I don’t have a boyfriend

[BadApple69]

I am glad you are being honest enough to indicate that there could be things you want to keep private.
Honesty is the best policy BUT your partner might not want to know everything in your past….

[LaurenM1997]

That’s true

[JayBones2469]

That I strangled my uncle to death outside of the hospital he worked at under the guise of wanting to catch up for drinks when I found out he molested my little sister. When I realized he bit through my rubber gloves and deep into my left hand pointer fist knuckle. I pulled the car over and smashed all of his teeth out and put them into a crown royal bag he had in his car for some reason. Then I drove his car with him in it into the susquehanna river. Later I could not find where I put the crown royal bag with his teeth and my DNA and I realized I left them on the roof of the car and drove away. Somewhere between Jefferson and the susquehanna is a crown royal bag with my uncles teeth covered in his and my blood tied to a missing person that was declared dead 7 years or so later. I really felt bad for my aunt and cousins because I couldn't say anything and they did suffer financially

[Dinklex3]

I don’t have any secrets that I keep from my boyfriend. I don’t keep in touch with anyone I was previously involved with because I know he would not be okay with it. It’s dishonest, manipulative, and she’s to purposely keep it from him.

I can’t think of anything I should keep from him unless if I like found out that his dog died when he thought he ran away and someone took him in with a happy ending or something.

[Nikki1989]

We have never discussed our past relationships. It not really a secret, we just see it as pointless and totally irrelevant.

[sawno]

The super early stages of doubt about the relationship / loss of feelings. Sometimes that just happens and its best to wait a day or two to see if it persists before casing unneccesary doubt because you feel off balance yourself.

[IslaTheWitch]

I don't think I have such a thing I wouldn't tell my partner...

[NathanDavis]

I can't think of a thing about me... that I would not tell her about if she wanted to know, there's nothing to hide

but, maybe things about others, who trusted me with it

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

I have a similar situation to you, but my wife kind of knows. I never told her anything and to my knowledge nobody did, but she makes the occasional joke about it.

[EmmaMary]

My husband and I have a completely open and honest marriage, with no skeletons hiding in the cupboards.

[sheikalana]

I think you should avoid talking about ex partners and past relationships.

[dustybiker2]

I have nothing to hide. Not even something embarrassing. Probably share too much but never had complaints.

[JacobJordan]

Oh my wife knows all my secrets the good the bad and the ones no one else knows and would result in punishment on my part though it was justified

[laly520]

we share everything

I keep his secrets n he keeps mine

[nawtee_me]

@laly520 that is how it should be…. No jealousy or commitment issues when you share everything. My hat is off to you both….

[laly520]

@nawtee_me thanks ^^

[Unit1]

Sharing passwords unless you are OK with compromising your security and having someone else commit actions under your identity.

[msmissydc]

Secrets my best friend shared with me.

[Anonymous]

I am sexting with two other girls.
They know I am in a relationship and have no problem sexting and exchanging nudes.

[Anonymous]

you had sex with her mom at your wedding reception

[elizamichale1]

I share everything with my partner

[nawtee_me]

@elizamichale1 that is how it should be. I hope you are always with your partners but if something did happen I want to be the first in line to be your next partner…. ;)

[elizamichale1]

@nawtee_me lol..

[JayBones2469]

Spoken like someone that never killed anyone.

[elizamichale1]

@JayBones2469 whatt?

[BadApple69]

@jaybones2469 actually a very good example. What if you were a solder and had to do things that would be unpleasant to most people. Or a cop that was forced to defend himself or others… these are things you might not want to share with your significant other.

[elizamichale1]

Well first of all a person like me is never capable of being in such tough jobs... but even if I was I still believe in sharing everything with the partner n in case of ur examples I think its even more important to share so u don't become a phsyco by keeping all tht inside u

[JayBones2469]

You are a stupid person. Women are to weak for the truth.

[elizamichale1]

@JayBones2469 stupid for not being heartless? Or for being too humane huhh

[JayBones2469]

Yes. Both. They are stupid for both

[elizamichale1]

@JayBones2469 wow I don't know what to say anymore

[SolitarySolace]

What you really think

[jahaims]

You should tell your partner everything

[msc545]

Some thing are better left unspoken.