Do u think it's ok for guys to be friends with girls or is that cheating?

Question

Personally, I see it as cheating especially if they hang out one on one. Have never invited you to hang with them and he is secretive about it.

The first time I hung out with my now boyfriend he asked me if I think it's ok for him to be friends with girls and if not it's a deal breaker. I told him yes.

But now I think he might have said that as a way to cheat. he is friends with this girl named Isabel I know her and have met her a few times but never threw him. The other day I brought up my suspicions because he never answers the phone when she calls and I'm with him. He said they went out to dinner the other night which I find suspicious. To me, that seems like a date.

Yesterday he told me that they hung out. The only reason I feel that she told me this is because she posted a picture of them together and he knew that I would find out. I find this weird because he doesn't even have a picture posted with me.

What do I do? I feel that if I bring it up again he will get mad and act like I am overacting. but I am sick of it and mad.

Mr_twoface · Accepted Answer

Personally, I don't think having friends of opposite gender is a harmful thing. It comes down to how much you trust each other! With that said, my wife got really upset despite us agreeing on this when I went on holiday with another female co-worker whilst I was still on dating stage with my wife, and she was residing overseas. We talked about it and set boundaries as to what is okay when one is away and both is aware that transparency is the key moving forward.

I feel this whole Isabel situation may look shady but if the guy is anything like me, with a total liberal mindset and view, he might not see himself doing anything wrong. Also why he avoids answering her call can be cause he doesn’t want to get into discussions with you again. With that said, I have strong belief that in any given relationship one needs to be able to feel that they can express their thoughts, emotions and feelings whenever they want and you should bring it up whenever it makes you sick and mad about it. Don’t swipe under a carpet or are worried it is going to upset him. Be open and honest with him no matter the consequence. In any relationship it takes two to tango and if he doesn’t satisfy your wants and needs, there is no reason to stay in a one-sided relationship.

Oliverlogan263 · Accepted Answer

Ugh that Isabel situation is definitely sketchy sis. I wouldn't feel comfortable with that either if I were you. A few red flags:

- He's secretive about their interactions and doesn't want you to know details

- Going out for dinner alone is totally like a date, not something "friends" do

- Not posting pics with you but she posts them hanging out is disrespectful

I think at this point you have every right to confront him about it. No harm in expressing how it makes you feel insecure, especially since you gave him the benefit of the doubt at first about girls being friends. Stand your ground - tell him the behavior isn't cool and if he won't cut back on secret hangouts then you're gonna have to rethink things.

Don't let him gaslight you into thinking you're overreacting either. Setting clear boundaries is important in a healthy relationship. If he respects you, he'll understand where you're coming from and make changes. But be prepared to walk away sis if he keeps dismissing your feelings. You deserve a dude who makes you his number one priority, not some other chick!

Stay strong - you've got this! Let me know if you need any other advice on dealing with him. I'm always here for you!

DishLady · Accepted Answer

"FRIENDS" or FOB? FOB is not cool if one or both of them are in relationships. Friends -- like just chat buddies -- should not be a problem unless they are verbally flirtatious with one another and in relationships with other people.

CrabCakes11 · Accepted Answer

You should break up with him. He doesn’t need a jealous girlfriend who can’t handle her boyfriend having friends. Get a life

Finchie40 · Answer

Yea you are best to dump him , it sounds like he is a player because when a guy really likes a girl and wants to be with a girl? , he doesn’t invest his time into other girls’ period , He will invest his time into his partner (you) The fact that he is going out with this other girl behind your back is a huge red flag that he truly doesn’t value you or appreciate you , he just likes the convenience of you. Honestly you should have never agreed to date him to begin with , when he told you about these other girls’ he wanted you to accept. That was a red flag there as well. It sounds like he is a selfish person , that only cares about himself.. If I really like a girl and I want to be with her and want her by my side? She becomes my priority , the same way I want her to make
Me her priority. There will be no other girls’ period out of respect for her and I’s relationship. Even if I had girl friends, those girl friends would not be spending time with me , without my girlfriend by my side. The same way I would want my girlfriend to do for me with her so called guy friends. It’s called being respectful to each other , Yoir boyfriend sadly isn’t respectful , he is selfish , he wants his cake and wants to eat it to

AviatorTom · Answer

Is it cheating when you talk to to your guy friends? People have friends, guys and girls, and there's nothing wrong with that.

b_lova · Answer

I think having friends of the opposite sex is fine, even healthy, as long as one creates physical and emotional boundaries that don't cross the line into significant other territory.

One should not be spending one-on-one time with anyone of the sex they are attracted to when in a relationship but in groups it should be fine.

If it was just the two of them, your feelings are justified. If he is unwilling to accept that as your boundary, then the two you you probably should not be together.

HighValue · Answer

Him going to dinner with her without you seems like a date which is unacceptable. Him posting pictures on social media without having you two together also posted to show that he is taken is unacceptable.

Some advice:

People in a relationship should not make NEW opposite gender friends.

It is the same for a woman having social media and posting public pictures for attention. That is cheating too, which MOST women do.

If someone doesn't want to be cheated on, they can't have friends that participate in cheating behavior because that is them approving of that behavior.

RebelinSteel · Answer

Yes you can have friends of opposite sex, however what you are describing sounds sus.

personally I would leave him.

i have girl friends but always introduce girls I date to the group of my friends, I don’t have a choice as my friends will bully me to meet her lol.

northerngal · Answer

Men and women can be friends. A relationships will never succeed without trust. If you feel you cannot trust him then i think you probably have an answer what you have to do...

bowenw · Answer

It seems kind of sus that he wants to hang out with other girls. Hopefully it's innocent, but I suggest trying to find out somehow what exactly he is doing with other girls.

HelpfulWoman · Answer

lmao no. thats almost as crazy as the god botherers. its retarded and shows frankly you don't deserve one XD

JacobJordan · Answer

Only reason for straight men and women to be friends is the possibility of a relationship. It is why 1 or both catch feelings eventually

MicahRaine · Answer

I think it totally healthy and necessary. It's only cheating if you're starting to care about someone more than you should/doing things with then that you usually wouldn't do for a friend

Hellur991 · Answer

It's definitely okay. But needs to be an agreement between both parties. Communication is highly key between the 2 of y'all

DrPepper12 · Answer

Sounds like he's sus and you're jelly. It's fine to have opposite friends but not the way he's behaving

Pohjolan · Answer

So you have guy friends but ask if a guy having friends of the opposite sex is cheating? No it is not.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Male or female, friends are friends and should always remain that way.

RedInnocent69 · Answer

Yes, it’s fine. But needs to be managed. Communication is important.

jjj101010 · Answer

It’s not common to have a female friend and hang out 1 on 1 with them if u have a girlfriend but if it’s a group thing it’s not too bad.

In_Trance · Answer

Men and women can't be friends

mickeysmonkey · Answer

It is ok, not cheating

Do u think it's ok for guys to be friends with girls or is that cheating?

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Do u think it's ok for guys to be friends with girls or is that cheating?

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