Why am I attracted to my friend's girlfriend if he is always complaining about her? How do I stop thinking about this?

[Anonymous]

My friend has been in a relationship for three, almost four years. He always complains that his girlfriend is jealous and possessive, that she is worried about losing him when he is not in the mood for sex and that she is too sensitive. I imagine it's stressful for him, but I wish I had a girl like her. My exes, particularly the most recent one, never showed jealousy and were not very passional during sex. I don't want to act upon it, but now I imagine myself in a relationship with her and how I would have sex with her, as he suggested that she is has a high sex drive and is very eager. I wish that since I'm similar to my friend in terms of looks and personality (that's what my ex told me), his girlfriend could be attracted to me too. He's been my friend since the beginning of high school and I would never do something about this, but I when I imagine my dream girlfriend, she pops into my mind. I refuse to go out with both of them now because I can't even make eye contact with her because I feel dirty and inappropriate.

[AviatorTom]

You are probably interpreting his complaining that he won't be her boyfriend for long, which means you can be her boyfriend... and you like her, which is why you're attracted to her.

[Asker]

I wouldn't do that even if he broke up with her. I think it's immoral and he would be very upset. I would be upset too if that happened to me

[KrakenAttackin]

She may be sexually exciting but your friend is clearly over her shitty personality. Don't think you can do better with her.

[Asker]

She is actually a good girl. She is just emotionally unstable.

[KrakenAttackin]

Asker... you don't know her the way her boyfriend knows her. Emotionally unstable is a hard pass, no matter how good the sex is.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the tricky waters of attraction, especially when it involves a friend's partner, is like trying to dance salsa for the first time—awkward and you're bound to step on some toes if you're not careful. It sounds like your attraction might stem from the contrast between her passionate nature and the cool demeanor of your past relationships. The heart wants what it wants, but the brain can help navigate those wants in a healthy direction.

First off, give yourself a break. Attraction isn't something you can switch off, but how you manage it is key. Redirecting your focus is crucial. Dive into hobbies, meet new people, or explore dating again (with someone not connected to your friend). This isn't just about distraction; it's about enrichment and finding what you truly want in a partner, without the complications of it being someone you can't have.

Remember, the grass always seems greener on the other side, but everyone has their issues. What you're seeing in her may just be an idealized version created by your needs. Keep cherishing that friendship and maybe, just maybe, the right person who ticks all those boxes will come dancing into your life without all the drama. Keep it healthy, keep it respectful, and who knows? Your perfect partner might just be waiting around the next corner, ready to salsa into your heart.

[Anonymous]

How does she look

[Asker]

My type. Olive skin, big brown eyes and curly hair

[Asker]

Short and curvy

[Opinion Owner]

Your both height and weight?