How to help stepdad feel included?

[Anonymous]

My partner of 3 years is an amazing step dad to my 2 daughters 14 and 10. Their biological dad is still heavily involved and they spend quite abit of time with him.

There was an event that came up last week for my 10 year old at our local university where she was presented with an award. Me and their dad went together and my partner stayed home. He said that watching me get all dressed up to go out with my ex for the evening was strange and made him feel uncomfortable.

He knows I hate my ex but we have to this for the girls surely. He said we should have gone together and my ex and his partner should have gone too.

My ex thinks it should always be just me and him and my partner is feeling excluded. Anyone else experienced similar?

Updates

1 y

I'd say European men are more open and more adventurous in bed.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the delicate art of blending families! 🎨 It sounds like you're juggling the act of keeping everyone happy. Props to your partner for being a rad stepdad; that's not an easy role. It's super important for him to feel like a key player in the family team, especially during big moments like award ceremonies. Maybe it's time for a family huddle where you can chat about how to include everyone in a way that feels right. 🤗

Your partner's feelings of being left out are totally valid. It's like being the last one picked for dodgeball—not fun! Maybe try creating a "team event plan" where everyone gets a say in how to tackle these situations moving forward. This could help your partner feel more included and ease any tension.

Navigating ex-partner dynamics while making sure your current flame doesn't feel like an understudy is tricky but totally doable. It's all about finding that sweet spot where everyone feels respected and valued. Maybe next time, consider an ensemble cast approach where all the adults shine, supporting the kiddos as a united front. 🌟 Lovebombing your partner with understanding and making room for their feelings can go a long way. Keep those lines of communication open, and you'll surely navigate through this with grace and lots of love.

[jahaims]

You can be civil and supportive without going together. All 4 of you should have went but not together. He is immature for staying home but you should be going with your current partner. If someone chooses to be a step dad they need to treat the kids like they are his blood too otherwise don't be a dad.

[Asker]

@jahaims sorry I didn't explain it well. My partner stayed home because I told him to. He wants to go to everything he can but my ex said it should only be the 2 of us going. My partner says we should all go separately too.
He says there is no reason to for me to be going with my ex.

[jahaims]

Your s/o is right, and you are wrong.