Is my mom is jealous of my relationship?

[Anastacia1989]

My boyfriend and I are dating serious - we’ve been together for just over 2 years now and multiple times we’ve spoken about having a future together and have discussed living arrangements…. he’s a good guy overall and treats me well - can’t complain.

My mom had suggested (in a persistent way) for my boyfriend to move into my house with us but my boyfriend has his own condo and secondly we want our privacy - I need a much better job than I currently have in order to move in with my boyfriend later on…

Anytime I apply to jobs or head out to job interviews my mom seems to be very negative about it- she tells me that I’m gonna get too tired and why don’t I continue working from home, etc…. she says she likes my boyfriend and approves, yet she makes negative remarks about me regarding finding work outside the house…

is she jealous of my relationship? Or is she against me moving in with my boyfriend later on?

She’s jealous because she’s single

Has concerns / other - pls explain in detail

Updates

1 y

Ps - my parents are separated & none have remarried and my dad is in an old age home

[Wiredone]

She's not really jealous. She's just trying to put negative thoughts in your head so you don't get a better job. She doesn't want you to leave her. She doesn't want to live alone. Sadly, she's being selfish.

[Anastacia1989]

Ya I agree she can be pretty selfish at times and she’s always talking about money

[Anastacia1989]

Anytime I go to workout at the gym she’s always adding her 2 cents in and saying that I’m overdoing it and that’s it’s dangerous to go in the evenings…. what do you make of this?

[Wiredone]

I guess she's just concerned about you going out at night by yourself.

[Anastacia1989]

My mom is pretty independent and she’s always going out with her friends and to events so why would there be “selfishness” on her end?

[Wiredone]

She's afraid something will happen to you and she will be left alone

[Wiredone]

Thanks for the mho

[Anastacia1989]

She has lots of friends and she spends more time with my younger sis. Than she does with me…. why is she so fearful of being left alone?

[Anastacia1989]

Ps - my mom also thinks my boyfriend is going to make me lose my “disability” benefits that I get due to the fact that I hve severe anxiety….

[DannyUk2017]

Doesn't sound jealous... Sounds more like she became "dependant" on YOU, and she's scared that if YOU leave, she will have nobody around her to give her the "attention" she wants.

[AI Opinion]

Sounds like you're in a bit of a pickle with love and family lacing into a spicy drama, aren't we? 🌶️ Your intuition might be doing the tango with reality here. It’s not uncommon for parents, even the most loving and supportive ones, to feel a twinge of jealousy or fear as their children grow up, spread their wings, and nestle into serious relationships. Your mom’s mixed signals—playing Cupid by suggesting your beau moves in, yet throwing cold water on your job hunt flames—could be her unique way of saying, "I'm not ready to let you go." It's like she's caught in a love-hate relationship with the idea of you moving on and moving out.

What's boiling down here might not be straight-up jealousy of your relationship, but more of a fear of change and a dash of empty nest syndrome stirring the pot. She probably adores your boyfriend but is grappling with how to express her feelings about potentially having less time with you. A heart-to-heart might help clear the air. Sharing how important your career and independence are to you, as well as how much you value her support, could turn the tide. 💖 Remember, navigating these waters requires patience, understanding, and lots of love—ingredients you seem to have in abundance.

[Anastacia1989]

So it’s normal for parents to experience a slight bit of jealousy when their kids grow up and talk about moving out of the family home?

[Anastacia1989]

She’s hardly ever home to begin with - she’s always out with her friends or going over to my younger sisters place….

[lightbulb27]

I agree with @Wiredone. of what I read, your mom is overly protective of you and likely controlling. doesn't want you to leave as she will be alone.

She may have fears about you.

Are you the only child? Did she lose a child already?

Healthy family wants the kids to leave the nest and make own family. Doesn't mean they ignore the parents and in many cultures, woudl care for the parent as they age.

In this case, your mom has taken some stress losing your father.

Tring to dig through psychology of this is difficult, but it's clear she is controlling. What her motive and rational is, is her own. Does she understand you better than you do yourself? Or is she really concerned about herself? don't know...

[Anastacia1989]

Ya she always wants control and she can be pretty stubborn

[Anastacia1989]

I know what I am and am not capable of and she’s been acting weird since my boyfriend told her we want our own place later on

[Anastacia1989]

Why is my mom so negative anytime I go to the gym? ↗

[lightbulb27]

Sounds like she's nervous you'd be leaving. maybe she not feel ok being alone or she's worrieda bout you. some women worry a lot.
you being in that environment since day 1... would have absorbed her worry.
You need to do some reflection, healing. It's work to get to a better place emotionally, but you need to. Meditation, prayer, understanding, trauma healing, therapy. All useful tools.

[Billlewis]

I'd say she probably is jealous. My mom used to be jealous of me all the time when I was young.

[Anastacia1989]

Why the jealousy tho if she approves of my relationship?

[Likes2drive]

Probably jealous you’re doing better and will eventually leave since she doesn’t have anyone

[shortster]

It sounds like she doesn't want you to move out and leave her alone.

[Jamie05rhs]

She just wants to keep you with her in her house because she doesn't want to live alone.
(A lot of moms are like that.)

[Anastacia1989]

She herself is barely ever home and she goes to a ton of events and I only see my boyfriend on the weekends because of work….
If she has her own life then why is she jealous of me?

[Jamie05rhs]

@Anastacia1989 She just doesn't want to be alone; that's all.

[Anonymous]

Your mom will seduce your boyfriend and he will let her. I guarantee it.

[Anastacia1989]

He wouldn’t let that happen

[Opinion Owner]

So you want to believe.

[Anastacia1989]

I know my boyfriend well enough and he’s not like that. Secondly, he wouldn’t ever go out with an older woman lol

[DizzyDesii]

Damn we must have the same mom

[Anastacia1989]

What are your thoughts? Why would she be so negative if she approves of my relationship?

[DizzyDesii]

Jealousy

[Sevenpointfive]

no. i don't think she wants your boyfriend

[Anastacia1989]

No obviously not…. he’s nowhere near her type lol….. but why would she be so negative if she approves of my relationship?

[Sevenpointfive]

i didn't really get that opinion from what you said. she likes the guy but she doesn't like you working. and i don't know if that has something to do with her personally. she might have had her own dreams/goals in life and was cut off by marriage?

[Anastacia1989]

My mom wanted to do a lot when she was younger but didn’t get the chance to do so…. my grandparents were very old school and strict with her and she ended up marrying my dad at a young age

[Sevenpointfive]

and that's what i got from your post. i think she wants you to have what she couldn't/or be exactly like her and bitter? it is a little difficult to tell haha

[Anastacia1989]

She appears to be negative anytime my boyfriend and I go to hockey games as well….. she asks why we like a loser team….. what do you think of that?

[Sevenpointfive]

because your mom isn't introverted like you are. she's "trying to bring you out of your shell".

i really want you to seek some professional help. you're in the same place 5 years ago

[Anastacia1989]

Ya my mom is very outgoing but me and my boyfriend are both on the introverted side - we prefer low key stuff like games movies and restaurants….

What points you to thinking about me seeking professional help?

[Sevenpointfive]

you're 34. how long have you been with this guy?

[Anastacia1989]

About 2.5 years now and we first met 10 years ago…. have a history

[eagle1951]

sounds like it

[Anastacia1989]

Why would she be jealous if she likes my boyfriend and approves of my relationship?