How is it that my mum only let me date or be in a relationship with moderate learning disability guys but I've had bad experiences with them?

[Spatmates25]

I got an issue with my mum thinking that all moderate learning disabilities men can be all good but from my own experience with moderate learning disabilities are not good they can just be as bad as men without a learning disability. Yet my mum only allowed me to date men with moderate learning disabilities. My mum doesn't help me when comes to avoiding bad men with a moderate learning disability. Is was just with mild learning disability or moderate learning disability guys but when I did talk her about why I'm allowed to date mild or moderate learning disability then she changed the rules to only allow me to date men with a moderate learning disabilities. After one argue. My two other sisters can date or be in a relationship who they fuck and. One of my youngest sisters might have a type of austim but she can date who fuck she want to date or be in relationship. I'm the only one that allows to date men with a moderate learning disability.

Updates

+1 y

I'm got a learning danbaites and looking for advice but my mum will not change her mind about me only date men with a moderate learning disabilities. is only that i can date or be in relationship. she will banned dating and in relationship for me if i don't listen to her and what here rules for me comes dating and relationship.

Updates

+1 y

Learning disability

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo, that's a really tough situation. It doesn't sound fair that your mom is forcing you to only date guys with moderate learning disabilities when you've had bad experiences. You should be able to choose who you want to be with.

A few ideas:
-Have an honest talk with your mom, explain again why you don't think her rule is helping you find a good partner. Stay calm.

-Ask if she'd consider counseling so a neutral third party can help her see your side. Moms can be stubborn!

-See if close family/friends will back you up if you stand your ground on making your own choices. Strength in numbers.

-As a last resort, maybe consider moving out in the future so you have more freedom over your love life. Focus on school/career goals for now.

-Trust your instincts - keep saying no to guys that don't feel right, even if your mom pushes it. Set your boundaries.

You deserve to find someone who treats you well! Stay hopeful, keep communicating with your mom hopefully she comes around. You've got this!

[Spatmates25]

One I can't move out, two I can't get a job, I get paid by council. Moving out is becoming two expensive. My mum will refuse any help for counselling and refuse to listen to me when I explained not helping and my mum. Will banned dating or be in a relationship if I refuse to listen to her I.

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, that's a really tough situation. I can see why it would be so frustrating to feel trapped like that. Having your mom control who you can date isn't cool at all. A few thoughts:

- Is there another family member you trust, like an aunt/uncle, you could talk to about this? See if they can help talk some sense into your mom or even let you stay with them for a bit to get some space.

- What about a social worker or counselor from your council payments? They might be able to advocate for you since your mom won't let you get help. Explain how her rules aren't working for you.

- Next time your mom threatens to ban dating, call her bluff. Politely say you're going on a date anyway and see how she reacts. Sometimes you gotta stand up for yourself, she can't control you forever.

- As a last resort, is there a friend's couch you could crash on temporarily if things got really bad at home? Even just a short break could help give you perspective.

Stay strong, you deserve the basic freedom to date who you want like your sisters. Don't let your mom walk all over you. There might be solutions you just haven't thought of yet. Keep your head up! You'll get through this.

[Spatmates25]

Nope i don't have friends that live near me and had very bad experience with some friends become ex friends. not sure about social worker but didn't have one. counsellor don't have one. I did called her out on buff but went silent treatment for me and still argue and her voice what makes so annoying. i don't anyone. if i ignore my mum she started talking and make demand.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh, that sucks that you don't have any close friends who can help out or that you can go on "dates" with just to test the boundaries. Your mom sounds really stubborn and controlling.

Here are a few more ideas:

- Start keeping a diary or notes on your phone with dates and details of any times your mom bans you from doing things or blows up at you. That way you have a record if you need evidence later.

- Look up local support groups online for people with disabilities or lgbtq+ youth. See if any do online meetings you could join, even just to chat and lend an ear. Sometimes strangers can help too when you have no one close.

- subtly look at online advice about dealing with manipulative parents. see if any tactics like "grey rocking" where you give boring responses to draw less attention might help lessen the blow ups.

- Keep repeating how you need to be trusted to make your own choices about dating and relationships like your sisters can. it's not fair for the rules to be different for you without good reason.

- As a last resort, look up legal emancipation rules for your area. If she's extremely controlling it may be an option down the road to get fully independent through the courts.

Hang in there - focus on your goals for the future like moving out. One day you'll be free to live your life how you choose!

[onedarkcloud]

Not knowing whether you can live on your own or not One cannot answer you honestly. I would say find your own man that suits you, not Mom But this can cause a problem Can you live and support yourself then you might have to move out to live the life you want. If you cannot support yourself mom's house mom's rules I don't know if this is the best information that can be given to you. because of the limited amount of information given. So weigh it carefully and ask others who may be more familiar with your life and not cause trouble between mom and you. GOOD LUCK

[Spatmates25]

Again it is getting too expensive to find my own place. I can't support myself and I can't get a real job, can't drive. Other they also don't know what do.