My husband got me pregnant with our 3rd child, do I forgive and forget since he's now 13 years old?

[Anonymous]

Our children are respectively 20, 18 (both girls; away in college) and our son is now 13 years old. He was spending time with his grandparents during this past weekend and so it was just the two of us. He was moderately drunk when he admitted to using a pin to poke holes into them, all of them. His expression was full of guilt and at that time, he kept apologizing.

This isn't something I want to break apart a family over and actually want to move on from but it still hurts. Plus, my 3rd pregnant got somewhat complicated that I had a c-section, unlike the other two that were vaginal births. We had had agreement that two kids was enough and I didn't want another pregnancy. He still secretly wanted a last child.

This confession finally explains why at the time he was against me using birth control pills and why he was very relaxed and more chilled than me with our 3rd child. It hurts though. Do I just forgive and forget?

[HelpfulWoman]

Ermmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
what the fuck. ewwwwwwww
He literally put you through pregnancy and birth without your consent. It SHOULD be a deal breaker. If he was willing to do that, fuck-ING im-AGINE what other dodgy shit he's capable of doing.
EW EW EW

[HelpfulWoman]

How would you feel as an onlooker if your children did it/had it done to them.

[gorydetails]

You've had your son for 13 years. You love him and are responsible for caring for him.

[Asker]

I love all my children equally and wouldn't change anything. It just hurts what he confessed to. This is one of those times you just wish they would've just shut up about it.

[gorydetails]

No doubt. But time to forgive and forget. You're blessed to have your son.

[jahaims]

That isn't all he lies and manipulates about. He is mentally ill.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the currents of forgiveness, especially in the wake of discovering something as personal and impactful as your husband tampering with contraception, is like trying to dance on a moving surfboard—it requires balance, patience, and a whole lot of love. 🌊💔

First off, let’s acknowledge that your feelings of hurt are totally valid. Betrayal within a marriage, particularly concerning something as life-changing as bringing a child into the world, isn’t a small pond to wade through; it’s an ocean. And while forgiveness can be a lighthouse guiding you back to shore, forgetting isn’t always part of the deal. It’s more about healing and moving forward than erasing the past.

Counseling could be your golden ticket here. Both individual and couples therapy can provide a safe space for you to explore these hurt feelings, understand his motivations (however misguided they were), and forge a path towards reconciliation. Plus, it’s an excellent avenue for airing out everything in a controlled environment, guided by a professional who can help navigate these stormy waters.

Remember, forgiveness is a journey, not a destination. It’s about finding peace for yourself more than absolving him of his actions. You’re aiming for a future where this pain doesn’t hold the same power over you, enabling you and your family to find a new normal. A sprinkle of humor, a dash of patience, and a whole lot of love can make this journey a bit more bearable.

As you wade through these tides, keep in mind the importance of setting boundaries and expressing your needs. This is your voyage as much as it is a shared one, and your well-being is paramount. So, buckle up, love. It’s going to be a ride, but remember, even the wildest oceans can be navigated with the right compass. 💙