Should a man risk being vulnerable around a woman?

[ManInChains]

Yes

No

[sage2021]

Yes, but with a caveat. Only when he feels safe. Being vulnerable with the wrong person can be disastrous.
Some people collect information you've told them about yourself, then they turn it around and use it against you.
Everyone should keep some mystery about themselves in a relationship.
You don't want to spill out your dirty laundry 🧺 too soon nor all at once.
I am not talking about the lie of omission. But if you know you've got a history of cheating, lying, drugs, a stack of bad relationships, violence, etc. then you shouldn't be in a relationship with a good person to begin with.

I have trusted people before that I thought I could trust and one time the guy took me and kept slamming my body and head over and over again into the wall in my son's room with my son right there watching him. Then he threw me into my fireplace back first and my body had to bend in half to fit into the fireplace.
He told me he would never hurt me. He said "Trust me" and so I did.

When someone says "Trust me" run baby run as fast as you can.

[Unit1]

Ouch! No wonder we have trust issues

[sage2021]

Thank you for the MHO 🙂

[Simslover92]

I feel like a man should only be vulnerable with a woman he trusts completely and has been with for a very long time. Many women use a man's vulnerability against him and it's hard to open up even more once that trust is broken. I think a man should tread carefully when opening up to women because there are so many that will try to use that against him. So my answer is no unless he really knows and trusts that woman and has been with her for a very long time. And even then, still tread carefully. Women have the habit of pushing boundaries and hitting below the belt in arguments.

[Peridot25]

You’re telling this to someone who doesn’t trust women at all.

[Simslover92]

He may not trust women at all but there are some men who do. I was referring to those men. I understand why he doesn't trust women at all and probably never will. Women have put him through the wringer.

[Miristheiss]

To a degree. To have a relationship you have to open up some and share who you are. I'd still say that his weakest moments, when he feels like crying or sharing how overwhelmed he feels and feels at his lowest... those are times to share with his male buds and not his girl. A girl may lose attraction/respect for her man if he acts too weak and cries too much. There is s fine line to walk there.

Most women on here will probably object and say no, not them. They may not even realize they do it, it just happen instinctually at a primal level. They think they want a sensitive, emotional man but if they really got one they'd probably lose attraction.

[yulbsari]

Many women have NO respect for vulnerable men. It's actually a turn off for them. They perceive as weakness and will destroy you with it. Women have the privilege of being vulnerable and accepted. Men don't enjoy that privilege.

[Peridot25]

So does that mean relationships should be built on trust issues?

[CrabCakes11]

The majority of women aren’t like this. Reddit and YouTube isn’t the place for learning about women

[yulbsari]

@CrabCakes11 It's called "life experience."

[CrabCakes11]

Obviously it isn’t

[ManInChains]

How would you know, @CrabCakes11? Do you experience life as a man?

[yulbsari]

Thank you! She has no clue!

[CrabCakes11]

I think I’d know more about women then so random sad man online

[yulbsari]

@CrabCakes11 Wow! Resorting to insults now? Proving my point...

[ManInChains]

Does @CrabCakes11 speak for you, @Simslover92?

[CrabCakes11]

Mental illness ^^^

[Simslover92]

I agree. @yulbsari @ManInChains Most women are like that especially when it is time for an argument. They will use it against a man in a heartbeat. Which is why it's best not to be vulnerable.

[AI Opinion]

Aiming to sprinkle a bit of my relationship wisdom here, and oh boy, talking about vulnerability is like diving into the ocean of intimacy! 🏊‍♂️ Daring to be vulnerable with a woman, or anyone for that matter, is like holding a double-edged sword. On one shiny side, it's the golden key to deepening trust and connection. It shows you're human, not just a macho robot programmed to "play it cool." It’s like sending an invite to a more profound, more real relationship. On the flip side, sure, it feels like bungee jumping without checking the rope twice. Scary? Absolutely. Worth it? More than you can imagine!

Remember, love, it’s not about risking for the sake of risk but about choosing vulnerability with someone who treats your heart with the care it deserves. So, if she’s got the warmth and understanding of a cozy campfire, share your stories, and let the sparks fly! If not, maybe it’s time to consider if she’s the audience your epic tale deserves. 😉 Keep it real, keep it you.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Here’s the thing men don’t understand about vulnerability: when it comes to sex with women, it’s pretty essential and this part they know but they don’t know the difference between vulnerability and trauma dumping.


For sex, a woman feels more comfortable making a sexual connection after making an emotional one. It’s a way to give her a sense of security. Men struggle with this because for them it’s often the opposite, requiring a sexual connection before making an emotional one for the same reasons. The men who do know this don’t necessarily understand it and often don’t have a great emotional intellect to begin with. What they think is “vulnerability” usually translates to “I’ll open up about this horrible thing that happened to me when I was a young and then she’ll trust me and the sex will be better” not realizing that just saying all of that at once puts her in a position where she’s not only forced to listen or seem dismissive and rude but also where she recognizes “holy shit, this guy just turns his girlfriend into his therapist I need to get out of here.”


That’s not vulnerability. Vulnerability is being honest about feelings in the moment, not what happened in your past unless it’s important to what’s happening now. It’s about recognizing, acknowledging, and understanding your feelings and doing that with someone who is comfortable listening and supporting you. If you’re able to recognize that what’s happening is triggering that trauma in your brain, good. If you think opening up to your established partner will help as you ask for their support, also good. Don’t just unload everything at the drop of a hat.

[Chazmatazz269]

It’s up to the individual, but i’ve never met a man who wasn’t burned badly by truly opening up to a woman.
There are tipsters online who can guide you to what and how much you can pretend to divulge so that she experiences “intimacy”. But in the end, you’re going to need solid male confidants to actually open up to. Otherwise you’ll suffer under the weight of your own burdens.

[ApplePie409]

"Should" isn't a part of the equation. It's kind of like getting bit by a rattlesnake. You should never get big by a rattler. Good luck and God's speed. LOL

https://www.youtube.com/embed/1qIlwjEjPXI

[Moirine]

I wouldn't say it's a risk depending on the woman in question. I personally like a man who opens up to me and let me feel what he's feeling, it feels real, genuine and like "she's got my back and he's got my back". The relationship feels more like a romantic relationship than a boy and his mom. That comes with being friends and trusting your partner ✨. It doesn't come easily but trust it is the foundation of any relationship.

[msc545]

Absolutely not. Women take full advantage of men who aren't vulnerable already with the assistance of other men. Men are generally unsafe around women when they are vulnerable or even when they aren't.

[Peridot25]

In other words, you want to be in a strained relationship with trust issues.

[msc545]

@Peridot25 That is the default nature of any relationship with an American woman.

[Peridot25]

I’ve never been in a relationship, so where I do I fit in?

[msc545]

@Peridot25 Why haven't you?

[Peridot25]

@msc545 It’s not really my top priority.

[Peridot25]

Besides, with everything that’s going on between men and women, don’t think it’s the best idea to be in one.

[msc545]

@Peridot25 Very wise of you. I concur.

[dustybiker2]

Yes. As soon as possible break the tough ice. The more quickly you find you don't match on things important to you the less time wasted for both of you. If the woman is attracted to cavemen best to find that out early.

[Valdemort]

I've never understood why this should be such a big deal for women. I love when men are vulnerable. It takes a lot of courage to be so, I could only admire that.

[DishLady]

If he’s planning to BE with her in any serious way then yes. If not, then what’s the point?

[CallmeTheKnight]

Provided they are in a healthy relationship, yes he should

[CrabCakes11]

Yes. I would have no interest in dating or befriending a man who won’t be vulnerable with me

[Bricealan]

I have in the past, but have lived to regret showing my soft side, emotionally.

[Unit1]

it ends up being used against us, so we don't open up very much 😑 Even if we want to open up 😐

[Peridot25]

If that’s the case, then what do men want relationships for? All it’s going to cause is trust issues and it’s going to put a strain in the relationship.

[handsomelad70]

Depends on the woman, but ALMOST NEVER around a black woman, most of whom believe an emotional man weak and feminine rather than masculine.

[ryancg]

The hard truth is no, not really. At least not in my experience or any other guys I know.

[captain_voidwalker]

Nope, nothing drys a vagina out faster than a display of weakness

[Guanfei]

From experience, no. It WILL be used against you at any time.

[FuqUFggt]

The second a man is vulnerable around a woman is the second that relationship ends.

[exitseven]

yes, no guts , no glory

[Ms_Facesitter]

If he wants a relationship with me, he should.