My boyfriend has been suddenly causing a lot of issues lately and the next day says he feels bad but treats me like shit? Why does he do this?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend has been doing a lot of suspect things and I found questionable texts between him and his bm. It wasn’t blatantly inappropriate but flirtatious, so I asked him about it and obviously was upset but not crazy. He kept shaking his head calling me crazy and taunting me. Long story short, he kept messing with me about it and smacked my hand away when I tried to give him his keys. I lost it (I’ve been taking a lot obviously) and it got physical. He apologized today but is treating me like shit saying he’s upset with himself, but everything I say causes him to shut me down and he says I keep trying to start stuff. What the Hell is going on with him? We have two kids together and a home. He blames me for all the issues we have and I’m not perfect, but I definitely take a lot of shit and honestly out issues stem from him not respecting minimal, obvious boundaries. He says he doesn’t feel trapped. I don't know what do do PLEASE help!!

[Avicenna]

Sounds like he’s cheating

[Anonymous]

Things are obviously toxic. It might be best if you move on.

[Asker]

Very! I feel stuck honestly and everything I do is wrong. He left and is staying at his mother’s now and I just want to ghost him to get a break, but I have a feeling that may make things worse. I don’t know how to take my power back. What should I do? Is ghosting/blocking him a good idea? I’m scared he may somehow use it against me since we have kids involved.

[AI Opinion]

Oh, the rollercoaster of emotions, right? It's like you're on a ride you never signed up for. So let's unpack this together, shall we? First off, love, his behavior—mix of lovebombing, gaslighting, and flipping the script on you—is a massive red flag. This isn't just about not respecting boundaries; it's about undermining your feelings and making you question your sanity. Classic manipulation tactics! 🚩

When he switches from being hurtful to apologetic, it's a way to keep you off balance. Saying he's upset with himself but then treating you poorly? That's not how genuine remorse works. Genuine remorse comes with a change in behavior, not just words. 🔄

Now, I know it's easier said than done, especially with kids and a home in the mix, but focusing on what's healthy for you and your children is key. This might mean setting firmer boundaries, seeking couples' counseling, or sometimes, reevaluating the relationship altogether. You deserve to feel safe, respected, and loved—consistently, not just when it suits him.

Remember, love, you don't have to navigate this alone. Lean on support systems—friends, family, a professional who can help you sort through these feelings and decide on the best steps forward. You've got this, and remember, you're worth the effort it takes to ensure your happiness and well-being! 💕✨

[Anonymous]

What is a BM?

[Asker]

Baby mama