Is my partner holding me back?

[femalewolf]

I got a job offer from another city which is a position I want for my career but my partner doesn't want to go and leave his current job. He said he earns more in this job, and if we move, the money I earn for us until he finds another job won't be enough. I feel like he is holding me back.

[bobalife]

It’s difficult, but I don’t think you should ever blame someone for holding you back when it is your life decision making. I don’t think it’s okay to blame or make him feel bad for wanting to keep his job that’s also going well for him and both of your financial situation. Honestly, it sounds like both of you have great career opportunities going right now and both of you want to make it happen. That’s a great thing going for yalls, but I know it’s also hard and sad thinking about separation if you take this dream job you’re speaking of. Tbh I think you should take the job that you always wanted and maybe try distance relationship for a bit to see what you both can figured out? I don’t think you have to break up unlesss you both don’t believe nor have confidence with distance. I know my sister and her husband made it work with distance for 3 years and even after they got married while she decided to go pursue higher educations to achieved her dream. But they made it work and of course reunited once that’s all done.

[IslaTheWitch]

he is right about calculations, so you have to find a solution for him to first find a new job in the new city before leaving the current and for you to find cheap living place until you can leave together again...

it's about negotiations and wanting to do something together... anytime you want something new propose acceptable scenario for moving from the status quo

[mattthefatbat]

Honestly not really it don't quite sound like he is holding you back, he just sounds like he is thinking rationally for the both of you, honestly 2 people could live on one income alone if that person (in other words you) were actually making enough to support the living wage and the cost of housing for the both of you whether it be in a apartment or house. But I say he's not really holding you back because he just wants to be able to keep living with you and not have to worry about being apart from you because of housing or financial status

But in all honesty you are the only person that holds you back from doing anything or achieving your career dreams, if achieving your career puts you in a situation of having to live separately from your partner, would you be okay with that?

[MacDaddyRico]

Two people cannot live on one income... those days are long gone.

[PointlessNonsenseGuy]

You always have the option of breaking up with him and moving to that new city on your own.

You say you feel like he's holding you back, but if he quit his job to move to a new city because of you, you'd be holding him back. Do you think that he should make sacrifices for you, but you shouldn't have to make sacrifices for him?

You know what the new job means to you. You know what your relationship means to you. Whichever one means more to you, that's the one you should prioritize.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating a crossroads moment in a relationship can feel like you're trying to solve a Rubik's Cube on a rollercoaster—exciting yet kind of tricky, right? It sounds like you've hit a jackpot opportunity that lights up your career dreams, but your partner is anchored by his own golden handcuffs at his current job. Here's the flirt with the situation: it's not really about who's holding whom back, but how you both can dance together towards a future that sparkles for you both. Have you tried lovebombing him with all the amazing possibilities this move could mean for both of you, not just career-wise but for your growth as a couple? Communication is key here. It's about painting a picture so alluring that it's worth considering the leap. And who knows? This could be the adventure that brings you even closer, or it might reveal paths you hadn't considered. Either way, keep the conversation open, flirty, and full of that wondrous ambition that's got you here in the first place. Love, challenges, and compromise – the ultimate relationship trifecta.

[Finchie40]

If your job can’t support the both of you? Than you are best to take your partners’ advice and stay where you are at , No job is worth losing a relationship with someone you love and care about , I know you are excited about this offer but logically if this job can not support you and your partner , than it isn’t worth it whatsoever. Jobs come and go but true love lasts forever.

[drummer]

"Is my partner holding me back?" The million-dollar question that hits us all at some point. You’ve got dreams as big as Everest, charging ahead, but then there's your partner, lovely yet sometimes it feels like they've got their foot on the brake. It's like salsa dancing with someone stuck in a waltz – frustrating!

Relationships should be harmonious symphonies, but if one’s playing Beethoven and the other’s jamming to heavy metal, it’s a bit discordant. So, you wonder, "Is this person holding me back?" Maybe they think Netflix marathons are sports while you’re training for an actual marathon. Or their idea of wild is extra cheese on the pizza, while you’re planning skydiving adventures. It’s like having a pet turtle when you wanted a cheetah.

But let’s not be too harsh. Comfort isn’t complacency. Your partner’s low-key vibe might just be grounding you, keeping you from floating away into impracticality. As Ferris Bueller said, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

Sometimes, you feel like you’re dragging them to your parade, but maybe you’re holding yourself back by projecting fears onto them. Chains binding us are often self-forged in our doubts. So, is your partner holding you back, or are you? Communicate – not with grunts and eye rolls, but with words. Express dreams, fears, and the need for speed.

Relationships are a two-way street, sometimes scenic, sometimes fast. Find balance, embrace the journey, and your partner might surprise you with their hidden zest for life. After all, even turtles can sprint when they really want to.

[Flatmanlewis]

Did you guys not talk about this when you started applying to jobs away from where you live? Seems to me like some poor planning may to blame more than just him holding you back.


If he agreed to move and is now backpedaling then you have a righteous complaint but if you just sprang on him that you found a job out of the area and he’s asking for time to adjust to the financial realities of this move than maybe it’s not so bad at all.


Communication is the key. Talk to him.

[HaleyWalker]

The fact that you would question is he holding you back I didn't even think about what you just said. All I can do is shake my head and say shame on you. It's off The Vibes of you don't actually care about him at all so for his own sake I would end the relationship. Sick and tired of seeing a woman like this complete disgrace.

[jazzyjic78]

He's looking out for your best interest, your income isn't enough to survive off and he just wants the best for you. Don't be selfish when you have a good man that doesn't mind taking care of you. You'll figure something out, because females are looking for a man like your's.

[DishLady]

He’s telling you he can’t leave this job — and he has a good point about it. Now if this opportunity of yours means more to you than the guy (for the actual future you’ve envisioned for yourself), then take the job and leave the guy. But to claim he’s holding you back… clearly that’s not his intention.

[Astarlessnightsky]

Either of you have a valid point.

However there is more to a move than just the work.

So maybe there is a middle ground, where your partner keepa working at his job, while you start your new job, and once your partner finds a suitable job he can follow you to the new location. Or you find an equal job at your old location...

[lightbulb27]

probably. you two can work it out, make solution matrix, solve problem. someone has to give. It's not always about logic...

I often wonder how animals figure out how to solve problems in packs... can you imagine the challenges facing coyotes or deer?

anyways... the old saying..."he whom holds the gold, makes the rules apply?"

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

Sounds to me like he is trying to make a pragmatic decision based on your financial health as a couple and not about just himself.

Your thinking only if yourself and if he is correct, your just going to put you both under serious financial strain for a job that isn't going to at least meet what you would both earn now?

-Maybe its time to choose your relationship or your career.

[Staximus]

If you move by yourself or with him, are you going to be able to pay all the bills by yourself or not? If you're not going to make enough money to pay the bills by yourself after the move, then he's thinking logically and you are not. It has nothing to do with holding you back.

[Staximus]

Sometimes what you want to do in the future and what you need to do now are not the same

[ProbablyClueless]

Not so much holding you back as pointing out the unfortunate, practical realities of the situation.

The reality is that pursuing this opportunity while being with him will require sacrifice.

[jahaims]

You shouldn't be in a relationship if your work is more important to you than you partner. Why would he take a pay cut for you to take a job that pays less than what he make? That doesn't even make sense.

[Pete671]

Yes he's being really selfish, you can always meet weekends, what if you stay and the relationship breaks down? he's still fine and you missed a great opportunity,,,

What if the situation was reversed? what would he do?,,,

[slatyb]

He has a job where you are now. If that's how you feel, maybe you should go without him and reassess.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Totally depends if he's your boyfriend or husband?

If he's your husband then listen to your husband and wait on him and do what he decides is best.

If he's your boyfriend then that's totally up to you to decide what to do.

[sheikalana]

He's not holding you back he's being honest. It's a valid concern. If this job is important to you take it.

[LiZiqiLiZiqi]

If you are married, then you need to consider your family. If not, then you can choose to work in another city.

[PositiveNote]

Yes. Obviously he is holding you back. It’s going to be a life’s choice: job or partner.

[laly520]

only u will have the right answer to this question

[genericname85]

Well you're holding him back if you look at the same thing from his perspective.

[OddBeMe]

I’d just go and see if he ends up following. Sounds like he has some jealousy and masculinity issues.

[DreamLife7]

You're 41 years old grow up be accountable at your old age you have no business blaming someone for your actions

[Sasquach]

Sounds like the money is more important to you than a relationship

[MrGSpotHer]

So his job is higher payed and better one? What is your job your wanting to move for and his..

[In_Trance]

Doesn't seem like you're committed to this relationship

[Twalli]

Is he more important than your career?

[RedInnocent69]

He is. If your career is important, do it anyway.

[Loner111]

Nope