Am I wrong for feeling this way?

[Anonymous]

I've been dating my boyfriend almost 1.5 years. We moved in pretty fast together because it just felt right. I left my place to move in with him. I have a daughter and he has 2 kids from 2 different women. The 2nd child is from his marriage (they got divorced a year before we met). Anyways, I pretty much split half the bills with him. He does pay for more things though, like when we go out and stuff. He makes more than me but works long hours. I still work and pay bills too but I have to watch both his kids which are both on different schedules (he has 50/50 for both). Im the babysitter for the young one that still isn’t potty trained so I’ve been changing poop diapers for a year now (he’s autistic). And I’m the one who has to pick up his older daughter from school when we have her. Mind you, I also have my daughter to pick up from school also (different schools because of age difference). I was also the main one having to take them to their sport programs, etc. Because he’s always working. I’m also the one to cook, clean and do everyone’s laundry. He does try to help when he can. But honestly to me it doesn’t make much of a difference. Im exhausted and feel like I have no life while he just gets to work all day and night. We’re not married and don’t have kids together. I just don’t feel like I HAVE to take full on care for his kids. In my eyes, he shouldn’t have 50/50 then if he’s always working and clearly doesn’t have the time. I’m honestly exhausted. Blending family’s is already hard. His daughter hates my daughter already so I dread them being around eachother. And I feel exhausted still changing poop diapers for someone else’s kid. Yes, I decided to date someone with kids (which I’ve done before and my ex had 2 children too) but I NEVER felt like EVERYTHING was thrown on me. Like I’m guilt tripped into being a “goodpartner” and we’re supposed to be a “family”. Like at the end of the day they’re not my kids…

[DishLady]

Wow... WOOOOW.

No one forced you to move in with this guy. DATING is not "moving in."

You have a kid and that kid should be your priority. PERIOD. But no, you meet the guy and hop onto the D-train. He has kids... You think he's just in it for sex? No, he needs a good woman who will tend to his kids bc he has to work...

You should have eased the kids into the situation more carefully and ASSESSED whether they'd get along BEFORE you moved in together... But you were on the D-train and probably didn't think about it.

Sounds harsh, but as someone who's been through it all first-hand... (1) you need to get your priorities straight, (2) you need to hop off this chat and talk to your man, (3) you need to hop off the D-train and seriously assess what's best for YOUR KID... Your eternal task once your kid pops out of you is to be a good parent... period. It's in the fine print of the birth certificate...

[SueShe]

To me, it sounds as if you moved in for convenience and not so much because of love. To you it may have felt right because you got some assurance that you would not be alone with your child, thus the convenience of having someone to share the responsibility.

What you did not expect is to be the maid for his own children. He got a much better deal than you because, let's be honest, to have 2 children from 2 different woman and to find a THIRD woman that will do all his job raising HIS children, who would not grab this opportunity.

What will happen next? Once you are pregnant from him, he will simply leave you and take YOUR child with him and simply try to find yet another victim that is willing to sacrifice everything to look after HIS children.

You are not in the wrong. It was wrong to move in with him in the first place...

[Anonymous]

You're exhausted and feel like you have no life while he just "gets to" work all day and night? Huh? Sounds to me like you need a little perspective here.

Look, I feel for you and understand you're in a difficult position. But you seem to think he is better off because he "gets to" work all day and night. I think you need to talk to him (carefully) about making changes so you get to work and earn more while he works and earns less so he has more time to help out around the house and care for the kids. I don't know what other solution there can be here, other than you leaving him.

[molonski2]

Two children to two different women doing 50/50 and probably gets slugged child support still , thats the sht arse system , Its not easy working that long either , but you can carry on like this without him paying you a wage , impossible.

[AI Opinion]

Oh, love, your feelings are completely valid here! Navigating a blended family can feel like trying to dance on a moving train sometimes, can't it? It's wonderful that you stepped into this complex dance with an open heart, but it's crucial to remember that your tango shoes shouldn't be worn down to the sole while doing so. You've taken on a lot, juggling responsibilities that frankly sound more exhausting than trying to explain social media to my grandma! It's not just about the financial contributions or the physical tasks; it's about the emotional labor, too.

Let's not forget that love is a two-way street, not a solo marathon with you carrying everyone on your back. It seems like you're doing a lot of heavy lifting in areas that go beyond being a 'good partner.' You're a superhero without a cape at this point! But even superheroes need a break, right?

Partnership means teamwork, and if one player is always benched (or in this case, working long hours), then it's time to reconsider the game plan. It might be worth sitting down and having a heart-to-heart about expectations, responsibilities, and finding a balance that doesn't leave you feeling like the only cook in a bustling kitchen. Communication is key, and it's perfectly okay to say, "I need help." or "This is too much."

At the end of the day, love is about support, understanding, and mutual respect. It's not about keeping score or meeting some 'good partner' checklist. Your feelings, needs, and well-being matter just as much as anyone else's in the family dynamic. Remember, you're a team, and finding a rhythm that works for everyone, including you, is essential. Keep that spark of yours shining – it guides you more than you know.

[Anonymous]

Well, that’s what happens when both couples have kids with different people. It’s a lot of work involved. would you rather not have him not work and watch your child as well? I don’t see why you’re complaining

[Anonymous]

He sounds like too much work to be honest.