I get so jealous and possessive when I like someone IT HURTS lol. I can’t have him speak to other women or be friends with other women.
I'm not. I want my partner to want to be with me and not chase after someone who's only a little interested. And if I can't find that then it just means I have to keep working to become a person who's desireable enough where it is possible to find a woman who really wants me. And my current girlfriend loves me very much. I still have anxiety in some social situations but when it comes to this I don't. It might be because I had to deal with a lot of rejection and solitude when I was younger so I'm very comfortable being alone and it's not something I'm afraid of at all. So if someone wants to be in my life they have to fit in it. I will make compromises of course but I'm not going to turn my whole life upside down.
Maybe you haven't experienced being alone enough. So when you feel any threat of losing your partner you react very strongly. But that's often not good for a relationship. You can end up making your partner turn away from you because of your extreme behavior. You need a certain level of security and confidence in yourself that you'll be fine no matter what. That gives you a calmness in a relationship where you won't overreact to situations. And that will make the relationship more stable and mature and last longer.
Spent most of my life single for sure lol
It’s actually because I don’t like anyone to invest my time :)
I liked the guys I have been with before yes. But since then I haven’t liked anyone.
If i had a wife like this, i don't mind at all because she will be doing the same thing, anyways who needs to be friends with other women if they have princess rapunzel 😄
When someone is in a serious relationship, their connection with the opposite gender should become very limited and to always keep your mind and eyes well opened to stop anything wrong that's going to happen, which means drawing borders and red lines between you and them!
Someone might tell me: "see! This is one the benefits of being single" but my answer would be: "no thanks, i just want one girl forever and not all the girls for a limited time"
Family comes over everything, a 1st priority, which means that anything that bothers my wife, i'll stop doing it, because she will be my everything the same way i'm for her, even god had put family ovee everything!
Let's say, if a girl wants to talk to me urgently and my future wife knows her and ofc she trusts me blindly, personally i wouldn't go alone, actually i won't go at all if my wife doesn't comes with me, i prefer to take her everywhere with me, because me and her we will be as a one person!
That’s really respectful of you!
I think it's because you don't want to loose him. That's very understandable. I get that!
It doesn't take much for another woman to steal your man away from you these days. They can't find one of their own so they will steal another woman's man. It happens all the time. Especially now a days.
I also think you have reasons not to trust him which only heightens your jealousy. Really, you can't trust hardly anyone anymore.
And so much cheating going on everywhere you look and read how everyone is cheating on each other like never before.
The thing is, that the more you try to hold on to him, the opposite will happen. He will feel like you are suffocating him and that is never good.
If he's doing things on purpose to make you jealous, then that is emotional cheating. Like if he's paying attention to other girls when he should be paying attention to you. That's not helping the situation and it only sturs up your emotions and then you get jealous.
He shouldn't be giving you reasons to be jealous.
Miss sage, if i love a woman, be sure that no woman in the world can steal from her no matter how hard she tries to seduce me, i can never cheat and i don't know why others finds it hard but i find it easy, maybe because i chose to never cheat on the person that i love, even in our wildest moments!
The big problem ain't about me, okay i never cheat, never lie and no woman can steal me from the woman who will love me... etc but it's hard for me to believe that i'll receive the same treatment! 😏
@TonyMetal__86
Wow Tony, you have the exact same values and morals as I do.
Now YOU have convinced ME that there are still some genuine great men still left in the world.
A guy that doesn't lie? I wish you could bottle that and sell it.
People try to tell me that everyone lies. It says right in my profile here that I don't lie, just like you don't.
Now I have been lied to so much, especially by the people running this apartment building. They lie about almost everything just to make you go away from the front desk.
8 years of their lies is more than enough! They need to stop it.
I can think of other people that have lied to me as well, but mostly them.
Everyone tells lies from a time to another, some just a little but and some are sick in telling lies, cause everything they tell you are lies!
It's very rare to find someone who never lies, you know it's a good thing but not everybody accepts it, i had many problems because i said the truth and a lot of people were sad because i said the truth, well what can i do if i'm a failure in acting and lying 😏
Telling the truth always gives me this comfort feeling that i'm doing the right thing!
Sometimes people tells me: are you crazy? You could of just lied and get away with it!
Well i just can't miss sage, i feel wrong and wouldn't be able to sleep at night, i mean what's wrong telling the truth 🤔 at least it keeps my mind comfortable 😄
If you flip it around, what would you think of your SO not allowing you to speak to other guys or be friends with them? If I were me, I'd say he had control issues and was insecure.
We have to trust if we are going to have healthy relationships. Can trust be broken? Of course. But if we start off not trusting, things won't end well. I understand the feeling; you want to be exclusive in no uncertain terms. But he's very likely to feel suffocated and more likely to want to get away from you if you continue to think he's going to be unfaithful at every turn. I don't mean this in a negative way, but therapy is a great way to process what goes through your mind and how you feel about the relationship. It can help you identify ways you can adjust to feel safe, but also allow your SO to be able to breathe.
I would trust him (otherwise what’s the point of being in a relationship with someone you don’t trust). BUT he’s mine so im jealous :)
Navigating the choppy waters of jealousy in relationships can feel like steering a ship in a storm, can't it? 😄 Let's throw a little sunshine on that situation. Feeling jealous is like adding extra spice to your meal - a little can enhance the experience, but too much will spoil the dish. The secret ingredient to keeping that green-eyed monster in check? Communication, trust, and a pinch of self-reflection.
Try flipping the script - imagine love as a bird. If you hold it too tightly, you might suffocate it, but if you hold it gently, it'll likely stay with you. Dive into why you feel this jealous. Is it fear of losing them, or maybe not feeling good enough? Talk about these feelings with your partner, creating a safe space for both of you to share. Remember, it's not about forbidding interactions but about trusting each other's love and commitment. Who knows, you might just find that trust makes your relationship stronger than ever before! 🌈🚀
Opinion
19Opinion
Unfortunately if you are that jealous and insecure you have almost a zero chance of a healthy relationship with anyone. Jealousy is truly a cancer that will eat through a relationship. Not only are you making yourself miserable you're making your partner even more miserable. It's not fair to them at all to be questioning everything they do when they've done nothing wrong in the first place. I had someone that was very jealous in the beginning of a relationship and sat her down and just told her "if I'm a cheater I'm a cheater and there's nothing you can do about it". "The same for you if you're a cheater you're a cheater I can't stop you". You can follow them around, you can rifle through their phones, you can hire people to watch them, you can put trackers on their car; it does not matter if they intend to cheat they're going to cheat. You either learn to have faith and trust, or you should walk away if not for your own sake for theirs. Let them be happy, and you just keep your own misery to yourself don't spread it around. In all reality if you're doing your job in the relationship then he/she has no reason to cheat in the first place. Good luck
No I am not jealous because if I meet someone that I think is great, then I have to assume other people will think they're great. Also, I gather she will know friends before meeting me that are established. So if I meet a woman that has male friends and she's dating me, I will trust her.
If I dated a woman that said I couldn't speak to other women or made it known she couldn't deal with that, I would not stay in a relationship with that person. I am a friendly person and have male and female friends.
I wouldn’t speak to any men if I was in a relationship
This is just my opinion, but I would find that to be odd.
I would want my SO to talk to my guy friends and be friends with them. Friends not sex buddies lol.
So if you're in a relationship and you go out with a group of people, you're saying the only man you'd talk to would be your boyfriend and you'd ignore any other men there even if it's his brother or friend? Would you even go out with a group of friends and your SO or would you have to avoid that?
If you want to be in a healthy relationship, iny opinion, it's healthy to have friends regardless if they're man or woman. If you're a good person you know who true friends are and your SO will want to be friends with them too. Having boundaries like not blowing off your SO constantly for a friend is understanding but to say you can't handle your man talking to another woman or isolating yourself by saying I won't talk to any men is just extreme. You can talk to men and separate friendships from emotional relationships like boyfriend/girlfriend and spouses.
I can still talk to men I just won’t be friends with them lol.
I see well that's good. I took what you said too literally lol.
Well listen, I can't say to anyone how to live their life or what's right for me has to be right for you. I only want people to be happy. I hope this means something but as a man, I can be just friends with a woman and if I'm dating a woman with male friends that are truly nice people, I've found it makes for a wonderful relationship to allow that to be maintained. SO should always come first but it's truly wonderful to see everyone's friends getting along with each other and have a fun time going out together.
Why not? You're dating, not in an isolation pod
Yeah I understand. But I’m literally so jealous so I’d do the same for him lol
Well good luck. Jealousy is not an easy thing to deal with for many people.
@LostandFound__x
Regarding your update. You might not be aware but jealousy and possessiveness are signs of insecurities. Only pointing this out because you asked about jealousy and I'm not sure you understand that the traits you're owning can be the opposite of how you are describing yourself regarding not being insecure. If you're struggling, and I mean if, with relationships this is going to make you potentially difficult to date.
Here's more to read instead of just taking my word or not.
"Jealousy is often rooted in insecurities and fears that a person may not even realize they have. These could include fear of oversimplification, fear of inadequacy, fear of abandonment, fear of being replaced, and fear of being judged."
Link to above excerpt.
mindfulhealthsolutions.com/.../
mindfulhealthsolutions.com/.../
I don’t feel insecure to be honest I just think possessiveness is a turn on for me lol.
Ok then. Be careful about the possessiveness. It's a real turn off for many guys and can be unhealthy. Also ultra possessive men sometimes get abusive. I'd talk this out with a professional honestly if you're at any point finding relationships aren't working out for you. If that happens I mean. I may be reading into your words too literally but real jealousy and really possessive traits aren't healthy for adult relationships
Yeah every guy I’ve been with is quite possessive lol. It led to a lot of problems because they wouldn’t like me going out with friends etc
And you said you like that just so you know. You said possessiveness is a turn on and it's let to a lot of problems. Something to think about and possibly discuss with a professional. I say that because one day you might find a guy that takes it too far and it could put you in a bad spot. Wish you the best.
Yeah it has in the past! Thanks
Are you physically clingy too, always hugging on the guy tightly, holding his hand in public to show that he belongs to you, etc?
Yes lmao
That's good. The kind of guy that is okay with a jealous girlfriend will likely like the clinginess too.
Lol interesting
I'm a jealous guy but expecting a woman to not talk to or be friends with other guys is unrealistic expectations. As long as she's not going out with them alone
Definitely not unrealistic. I stopped having guy friends in my 20s
Sounds like a symptom of not being ready for relationships, sorry to say. That's way too unhealthy if you're not even dating but it's just a man you fancy from afar.
I don’t want my man to have any girl friends 🤷🏻♀️
Friends who are girls is one thing, but it depends on what he does with them.
I just don’t see the need for it lol
He has to be able to talk to other women as friends, otherwise it's toxic controlling behaviour.
That's unreasonable and exposes you as very fragile
I used too, but I’ve had my fair share of being in relationships and being sexually active
I get that but I’m still jealous lol. What’s mine is mine you know
Sort of. Two things can be true at once.
If the person gave great sex, however they also made the relationship toxic? That second fact completely overwrites the first one. I’ll take the amazing sex without the bs only moving forward 😂
Yeah as I got older I realised that emotional intimacy is so much more important than physical.
I'm not really the jealous type though I do occasionally get territorial and protective if I think another guy is coming around where he shouldn't and doing things he shouldn't.
Yes I used to be that way. It was like waving a red blanket at a bull. I finally realized I was being an idiot. I still don't like it but it's managed better now.
Not at all. I think it's hilarious when some guy hits on her. Ultimate compliment to both of us.
No, what's the point? Jealous people are the worst ones to get into a relationship with.
I’m jealous, possessive and protective of my Husband too.
Bullshit you aren't insecure. You a walking breathing insecurity. Jealousy is spelled with lousy for a reason. And possessive is spelled with p. o. s. for a reason
Let's put it this way, has your jealousy ever hampered a relationship?
m not really... no reasons to either
No, that's not a healthy mindset :(
You already know I do
My my you are a complicated one aren't you.
So now you know what guys go through
Trust issues have we?
No, I'm not immature
thats bad
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