Girls, What does it mean when a man asks his wife for more affection/attention?

[Anonymous]

Hello, So I have been married for 6 years now. I am blessed with a 3year old and now a new born. Things haven't been all that easy for me my whole life. Part of the reason why I always over think and suffer from low confidence. After giving birth the 2nd time, I have been drained out. No energy, no time. I have been suffering from anxiety and depression for 10+ years now. Pregnancy and post partum made things worse. Nowadays my husband is suffering from low testosterone levels. He is supper sluggish, tired and grumpy. Mind you, he is the type of guy who would do anything and everything for me and my happiness. Lately we get into fights a lot and he seems to be agitated a lot. Anyways, he has been telling me he misses my “affection”, and he needs more attention from me. He misses spending time with me.. taking trips and walks with me. Tbh, I don't miss it as much. He is a girl coworker who he is pretty close with. The fact that he is telling me how he misses my attention etc, messes with my mind. Make me think “what if he is looking for another option or found another option and just saying all those to me just to see my reaction”.

Mind you, I am always busy with kids. Both of my pregnancies were horrible. Almost life threatening for me. Since this was my 2nd csection, I am still recovering. I am. always on my feet. I do everything. From cooking to cleaning to shopping to taking care of the kids to staying up all night. I don't allow my husband to do much as I feel bad for him. He works really hard and tries his best to help out during his off days. I honestly don't have time to feel affectionate. Do you guys think my husband might be attracted to someone else or might be soon?

Ps. During my younger days, I had many guy friends and many relationships while he was always friend zoned. It took a lot of patience from his end to get to where we are now. I changed 360 for him and he knows that. We are both in our late 20’s. Please advise. Thanks

[SueShe]

It looks like you need help from a specialist and not from GaG people that will grab every opportunity to spam and troll you and also make fun of your situation.

The essence of a relationship lies in communication.

If you feel that the situation is tense, why don't you make a list of topics you feel both of you have an issue and besides each item, you bring a reply that you think would help the situation. Then ask him to do a similar list and also to write down how he sees improvement.

Then you sit together and attempt to find a consensus, bearing in mind that none of you should be angry or upset. That would falsify the outcome and rather than to help, this would only make things worse. Also, trying to impose one's view onto the other is not the right solution because the one or the other is under pressure to act on that imposition.

However, I believe that you should seek professional help in this case. They would be able to give you useful tips on how to proceed.

Affection does not always mean fornication but also simply being together, holding hands, cuddle and the like.

If you are afraid that your husband may start an affair with his co-worker because you lack to give the affection he wants, then you have to also talk about that topic and not leave it out. Good luck.

[Asker]

Thanks

[SugarSugarplum]

The fact that he's said anything means there is a big problem. You're not the only one working hard here, he sounds like a great man. I think you need to find some level of affection you're both happy with before he wanders.

Listen: his life looks like

• work hard
• come home to help you
• fall asleep exhausted
• get little to no affection from you

Sit with him after the kids are in bed. Rub his shoulders. Pour him a glass of wine. Get a sitter once a month, and do something nice with him. It doesn't have to be maximum effort, just show him you still want him.

[Anonymous]

I've been there! Personally, when I was pregnant, it amplified everything. He could do the smallest thing, hey, what happen to the ice cream? I'd go off on him (I ate it)! We stopped going out as much. By the later semesters I couldn't walk for long periods. I was grouchy, i was happy. I took him for a ride! Long story short, we planned date nights, we took any available free time and spent it with each other. We helped each other by communicating because we got distant during the pregnancy, and figured out ways so we can meet half way. Hope it works out for you and grats on the newborn!

[Anonymous]

be careful. this happens to a lot of married couples. especially after kids. you're so tired taking care of the kids, that you don't take care of you, your relationship with your husband, or your husband. he is telling you hey... i'm lonely and would like to actually be with my wife every once in awhile. don't neglect everything else. you need to take some time. seriously. or eventually he'll have wandering eyes and then an affair... just a lot could go wrong.

[DishLady]

With guys, what you see is usually what you get, so if a guy is asking for more it’s pretty self explanatory.


It’s when a guy won't just spit it out and say what’s on his mind that things get annoying/frustrating for his gal.

[Nikki1989]

Sadly, this is not the site to seek advice for serious relationship matters.

[sheikalana]

Means he’s craving both affection and attention.

[Anonymous]

At least Suck him off

[Jennz6]

He is lonely?