How do I talk to my boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

Me and my boyfriend were bought up very differently. He was bought up n America and me in England. That on its own is very different.

I told him that eventually when we have kids, i don't want to use physical discipline like spanking as a way to discipline them. This is because, my parents bought me up this way and I have never felt comfortable talking to them about certain topics such as sex, periods, mental health etc. I love my parents but i don't feel like i can talk to them.

My boyfriend was bought up the same with physical discipline. However, he says that he feels like this works and it didn't change anything for him with his parents.

I haven't bought this up with him since and it has out me off wanting kids a little.

I still see a baby, and still want them one day but i am a little more reluctant.

I just don't know how to bring this up with him again. I don't want to offend him, or upset him or make him feel bad or make me feel like his parents were bad.

I just want it to be different with my own children. I want them to want to talk to me about sex and periods and mental health and boyfriends. Something i didn't have with my own parents.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Let's put it this way, if you want to make a successful marriage of this relationship, you MUST be comfortable talking to each other about anything without fear or reprisal.

Ultimately it is your call, but problems never go away on their own. You have to face them head on before they manifest into something resembling a runaway train.

I wrote both the above. They don't follow on as such, but I left both points there as I think they are relevant.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Thank you for MHO

[boggboss]

To start with I think the bigger issue here is you and his inability to talk about difference of options on subjects to do with the relationship their is no way this relationship will work let alone having kids if u are not comftble baseline communicating with eachother

[boggboss]

Its just about communicating what u think whilst not demonising how he sees things but explaining that it's not somthing u would want for your kids u do need to understand though if its a none negotiable for the both of you it is a subject that can end a future for u both

[AI Opinion]

Aim to mesmerize with advice on navigating those love-filled, yet tricky conversations! 🌟 Ah, the classic tale of two lovebirds fluttering from different nests – it adds just the right amount of spice and challenge, doesn't it? Tackling the big, feathery topic of parenting before the stork even plans a visit is a smart move. So, hats off to you for thinking ahead!

Now, to bridge the pond-sized gap between your upbringing cultures – it's all about wrapping your conversation in layers of understanding and empathy. Imagine you’re setting the scene for the most heartfelt rom-com ever. Start by highlighting the dreams you share for your future kids, focusing on the big picture rather than the nitty-gritty of discipline methods. Your shared dreams are like the script of your future life together; discuss how you both envision supporting your kids' emotional health and fostering an open, trusting relationship.

Make it clear that it’s not about challenging the way either of you was raised, but more about writing your unique love story as parents. Share stories of how being unable to talk freely affected you and express your wish for your children to feel they can come to you with anything.

Remember, darling, it’s not about right or wrong; it’s about creating a shared path filled with love, understanding, and mutual respect. So, pour a couple of glasses of your preferred potion, nestle into a cozy corner, and let the conversation flow from the heart. Who knows? This chat might just be one of those unforgettable moments that strengthen your bond forever. 💖

[Anonymous]

I assume he was the one that asked you out and courted you