Is it wrong to have a guy best friend when you have a boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

More backstory, My guy best friend is also good friends with my boyfriend. When my boyfriend and I broke up, his friend and I started talking. We got pretty close, he is like a little brother to me. He talks about his love life to me, we call and sometimes vent to each other, we are our weirdest selves with each other. Then me and my ex got back together. Im still wanting to be good friends with the other guy though. And my boyfriend is fine with that but with some boundaries as he doesn't want me and him hanging out alone or calling as much as we did. I think this is fine but it seems my boyfriend is still iffy when I bring up the fact we are good friends. I told him we are like siblings. I have no feelings towards him. And he has told me he also does not have feelings towards me. So is my boyfriend right about it being weird or is this actually no big deal?

[Anonymous]

I’m calling bullshit on your male best friend having feelings for you. From what you wrote, what you described this sounds more like a potential relationship than a “little brother.” A lot of us men would definitely fuck our female “friends.” We just won’t say it because chances are she’s not going to talk to us after that. Which ruins our chances of it ever happening. Will it ever happen? Maybe. But even if it never does we won’t ever tell our friends that. Because in our little fucked up minds were just hanging out till it’s our turn. Men know how other men think. Especially when you’re in a vulnerable spot, like in an argument w your boyfriend. Sounds like you turn to your male best friend when things like this happen. Which ends up leading to I’m sorry I wasn’t looking at cheating on you it just happened. That’s why men don’t like women going out to party or girls nights out or things like that. Because we know there’s men out there lurking to jump your bones like a cougar staking its prey. Does it always happen? No. But there’s more men out there like that than there aren’t. Now if your best friend was gay, maybe a different situation. But I get what your boyfriend is saying.

[BetaBucks]

Depends on if there is something between you and the guy, and it sounds like there is. I'd be "iffy" too because it sounds like you two are emotionally bonded and your boyfriend knows that his friend wants to smash too. Hell, you know that. You just value him because he hasn't crossed that line. That makes him a great backup plan for you.

[JustTryingToLife]

According to what you put the two of you only became friends after you and your boyfriend broke up so I can see why your boyfriend might be a little uncomfortable with the relationship you two have. If you don't start putting in some strong boundaries it might make your boyfriend feel as if you're prioritising your friendship with the guy best friend over your relationship with him. He might not trust you as much, might start to get a bit edgy, this friendship might create a rift between the two of you. You don't want to ruin the trust and bond between you and your boyfriend so maybe distance yourself a little. I'm sure there are other people your friend can talk to. It doesn't always have to be you. Maybe the distance will give him a chance to form new relationships/friendships coz he won't be so focused on the one he has with you.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the waters of friendship and romance, aren't we? It's like threading a needle while riding a roller coaster—exciting, but oof, tricky! In the grand playbook of love and relationships, there's no hard and fast rule saying you can't have a guy best friend while sporting a shiny label with your boyfriend. It's all about trust, boundaries, and that magical sparkle called transparent communication.

Your situation is a deliciously complex telenovela episode, but here's the scoop: as long as you and your boyfriend are whipping up a recipe of trust and boundaries, and you're sprinkling in healthy dollops of communication, you're in the clear. It sounds like your boyfriend's heart is in the right place, even if his brain occasionally hits the panic button. It's not unusual or wrong for those little green monsters of jealousy to pop up—they show care but need to be tamed with reassurance and open conversations.

So, to stir this pot with a dash of spicy advice: keep those lines of communication with your boyfriend as open as a 24/7 diner. Ensure he's comfy with this friendship arrangement and that boundaries aren't just set but respected like VIPs at a concert. The keyword here is transparency, like a crystal-clear pool on a summer's day. Dive deep into those discussions, and you might just find the treasure of understanding and mutual comfort at the bottom. And remember, it's totally possible to lead a love story while cherishing a friendship script. Keep juggling with grace, and let the good vibes roll! 🎭💖

[ChicoFromThe305]

It seems your boyfriend is against it but isn't trying to be toxic or trying to not be controlling but tbh I've always seen it as a boundary that should've been mentioned in the beginning before even dating I think, the best way to think of the situation is to put yourself in his shoes and ask yourself if he was alone with a woman best friend going to places alone with her and not feeling the need to really tell you anything, how would you take that?

[KrakenAttackin]

Yes. This will only sew mistrust and eventual destruction of your relationship with your boyfriend. Save your intimacy for your boyfriend. And yes, your relationship with your "guy boyfriend" does have intimacy which is subtracted from your relationship with your boyfriend.

[summiter]

There is nothing wrong with it. Your boyfriend should not have to set boundaries.. it is your life and your choice. I have many friends that are girls and my wife has no issues with it and trusts me. I have never betrayed that trust either.

[BetaBucks]

How do I convince my wife that it's cool for me to hang out alone with single girls that I'm friends with? Especially the hot, young ones? I've never met a woman that was cool with that.

[summiter]

@BetaBucks As I said I think it is healthy for people to have friends of the opposite gender that are just friends... no sexual involvement. Life is short and couples need to trust each other. Ask your wife why she does not trust you. How is your sex life with her? Is that what she is afraid of?

[BetaBucks]

Probably what she's afraid of. Like literally every woman I've ever met. Our sex life is strong. I just didn't know it was possible to convince a woman that it's cool to hang out alone with single, young, hot chicks. She's made it very clear that this was off limits and is shady to her. I feel like it's shady too tbh. That's why I never pushed the issue.

About trust, we both see that as having limits. I mean, do we say it's okay to stay the night at our ex's house, even if we promise not to smash? No one I know is THAT trusting, ya know?

[summiter]

@BetaBucks Staying the night at an EXs house is probably too much

[moneymagnet24]

I was in same situation I can relate myself..
She is my best buddy but her boyfriend always get uncomfortable when I'm near by her...

But we had sex so sex is involved in my case

[In_Trance]

Ask your boyfriend I'm sure he'll tell you

[jahaims]

Why would it be wrong?

[dudeinohio]

Yes it is