How do I keep up with a guy who moves too fast?

[Ofoceansbeaches1]

Guy is just really way too fast. We've been talking for 3 months and he on the first day had been asking a lot of hypothetical questions and kept calling and texting. Lately, we would have already ended up not talking except he chanced upon seeing me across the street.

Because of that, we got to talk again and it turns out he got mad at me a lot. Some of his complaints were:
1. I hardly text
2. I deactivated my fb when he need me the most. I suddenly disappear
3. I don't want to call him with sweet names or call exclusive pet names.

My complaints about him

1. He moves too fast

2. He is clingy

3. He needs to text and call almost everyday.

4. Very sensitive of my words and my emotions in text. He gets mad when i become "cold"

In fairness to me, i really take time to fall in love and I thought 3 months is short and that i usually end up loving someone around 1-2 years. I also don't like to message often.

I explained this to him and I notice he really overthinks every message I say to him. It feels like I'm being judged. Yesterday we had 2 hours of being sweet and a mix of another 2 hours of fighting explaining my side and how I usually do not commit but I'm trying to. I cannot even say the pet name he thought of.

He, on the other hand, already asked me if he has a chance. Take note we have just yet to have a date. Although i know some stories about him. How in the world can i survive this? He keeps getting frustrated and says let's stop this and then we repeat the next day. He also keeps asking assurance from him, i give and it feels like it's not enough. He says he gets headaches because of me but I complained and said he keeps finding faults in me.

[Makeushiver]

Be candid with him and tell him you've always preferred to spend time alone or doing things at a more relaxed pace. There is no reason why you can't simply tell him that you don't plan ahead as far as he does because so many uncontrollable things happen in life. This could be a real red flag as neediness is something difficult to get over & can't usually be intellectualized away. Does he tend to get aggressive or whiny when you do not respond withthe same level of enthusiasm as he does about planning 5 years out? In either case I think it's the type of problem that get's worse over time, not better. Unless he is so attractive in other ways that you would be upset at not being together you might ber wise deliberately keeping some distance and if it continues to be aggravating than 86 it sooner rather than later. It's they tyope of behavior where it's designed to pretend that he is guilt-free as his idiosyncrasies can be explained as "caring" instead of what they really are which sounds, overbearing.

[MisterWack]

Maybe if you feel that you are incompatible you should consider breaking up with him especially if he likes to call / chat everyday also needs reassurance, etc.

With me, I would sit him down in private and talk it out. Tell him the issues you both have then reach a compromise. My compromises I would pitch for this situation are:

1. A phone call twice a week and if unavailable to make it, a text warning ahead of time.
2. Sweet names / pet names, just give him at least one to call you since it is his way of showing love

Those are just my examples, whatever you both decide on will be best I’m sure. Just a reminder compromise is understanding what one person wants, what the other person wants then reaching a middle point of discussion to make things work so, good luck!

[StudyingAuthor]

From personal experience, ghost him. He'll get over it. (It took a month for mine to get over it.) But if you want to try to work it out with him, assert dominance, don't feel sad when he's mad at you, act nonchalant about it... explain how your life doesn't run on his time.

[Cutegirl06]

I think this is a big red flag! You should end this relationship. Because I feel like in the long term he's going to cut you off from your family and friends. He just is too insecure he needs you to himself and will end up controlling your every move!! Please be careful 🙏

[AI Opinion]

Oh, love in the fast lane, huh? 🔥 Looks like you've got yourself a classic case of lovebombing mixed with a dash of clinginess. Keeping up with a speedster in love can feel like running a marathon with no finish line in sight. It's exhilarating but also, let's be honest, pretty exhausting.

Here's a fun thought: communication is key, but it's also about setting those boundaries as if you're the relationship coach and they're the eager student. Let him know your pace isn't just slow, it's "marinating in love" slow. It's about enjoying the journey, not racing to the finish line.

Why not suggest slowing down to his speed? It might be time for a heart-to-heart where you lay out your feelings like you're setting the table for a romantic dinner—everything in its right place. Explain that you're more of a "slow cooker" in the love department. You appreciate the flames but don't want to get burnt or burn out too quickly.

And if he's handing out headaches like they're candies on Halloween, then maybe, just maybe, it's time to consider if this high-speed chase is what you really want. Remember, love isn't about finding someone you can live with; it's about finding someone you can't live without—at your own pace. Can you imagine a world where every text doesn't feel like a pop quiz on emotions? That's the goal.

So, take a breath, set your boundaries, and if he's the right one, he'll downshift to meet you where you are. If not, well, maybe it’s time to let this racecar go and find someone who enjoys the scenic route as much as you do. 💑 Keep it sizzling, but on your own terms!

[AviatorTom]

You two don't sound anywhere close to compatible. Just ignore him... he'll go away... eventually.

[Finchie40]

Walk to other way , it sounds like he isn’t a good match for you

[Levin]

Sorry, I know it's a serious question and that. But I find it funny.

2 years? Ha. The poor guy, is torturing himself.

Yin is attracted to yang as they say. Or extremes are attracted to one another. You both sound unhealthy and dysfunctional in completely different ways.

Guy obviously has serious insecurities and is not comfortable in himself. In his own skin. Needs constant validation.

You, sorry lass. But I'm not here to beat around the bush. You've obviously been hurt, or perhaps you've not been provided with a safe loving upbringing. You can't expect someone to wait for that long before you *might* love them. Cold. Man.

You both have issues.

You both need counselling or to work on these issues.

[Lliam]

I don't know why he's wasting his time. You've been talking for 3 months and you haven't even agreed to go on a date? Do you need to be in love to go on a date?

If I was him, I would have stopped making an effort a long time ago and moved on to someone who was interested.

You're right about one thing. He's stupid to keep trying to push you into a relationship.

[RingOfFire]

This is one of those posts where I can't believe the person who wrote it doesn't know the answer. I guess sometimes you can't see things from other people's perspectives. What you need to do is tell him goodbye and good luck. You're not a match and you should not let him bring you down any further. I rarely see that more clearly when someone is asking a question like this.

[paledreams]

Lol sounds like me 😀😀🫣😀🫣 - ah well. Folks are either a match or a mismatch. Each other's type or not each other's type.
I think for me, as a clingy modern man who is a chatterbox - I think I've often noticed I'm such a lucky and fussy and picky guy, that I shouldn't settle for any woman who isn't a match to my type - 🤭🤭🤭😋

[Sasquach]

It sounds like he knows exactly what he wants and you're still on the fence.

If you've explained to him what you've written on this page and he chooses to disregard your feelings to push his own wants thats a big reason to end the relationship.

[MrDaveAPSI]

If he's your age or older, it's because he's realizing that he's 33 and not getting younger. He's trying to get on with the next part of his life, which, by definition, is marriage and kids. If you don't want either, back out now, before you get in any deeper

I'm 35, and while i dont want either, ever, i do still want to have a girlfriend. Im just finding a girl who wants the same

[Caroline91]

Why are you asking how to keep up with him? You shouldn’t have to put the brakes on this hard for him to respect your boundaries. RUN as fast as you can for the exit. He is guilting and manipulating you.

[mayurr]

Looks like he won't give personal space to u after being in a relationship. Its annoying when someone expects to text them everyday without missing. Its ok if someone say that my words r 10 & ur word is only 1 in every reply.
Rest, yes it takes time.
Simply avoid or test him till he makes some changes in himself if u like him.

[dustybiker2]

You two need to start talking and being open or it's going to blow up and hit the fan in a big way. Don't be afraid to talk to a partner... just be kind. And never forget to listen just as much.

[Minky17]

Don't deal with him. He has no emotional regulation skills. Block and move on.

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

It's not a match. That feels draining in the long run.

[CrabCakes11]

You guys done seem compatible. Just break it off

[Jamknot9]

Why you acting like he isn't just a booty call. You don't have them feelings, but our sex is great. Don't wait.. just let him know booty call? Rela

[Alex-Snow]

Seems like there are more negatives than positives... maybe move on?

[MacDaddyRico]

He sounds immature at the very least.
Be careful.
Doesn't seem like a good relationship to pursue.

[Gabriella2005]

Tell him to slow down if he doesn’t might have to let him go cause it sounds like he’s not gonna listen to you.

[GeminiDiamond]

Bye bye. I've already told police about him.

[GeminiDiamond]

And they are way meaner than me if the guy doesn't get a hint. Like you just Happen to meet regularly, he's nearby always when where you are at... I mean, unless you want this guy drugging you and putting you in a cage in his house.

[OddBeMe]

Say stop it.
He doesn’t.
Move on.

[KrakenAttackin]

He's needy and you are bipolar.