What should you do when a parent thinks your SO isn't the one for you?

[queenish_1]

My mom doesn't want me to commit to my boyfriend. She has very valid reasons, she says she's seeing what happened to her and my dad possibly happening to me which isn't good. The problem is in my teenage brain I keep thinking we cam solve everything and no matter how much I try to understand what my mom is saying it's not rationalizing fully in my head. Thinking of leaving my boyfriend who us also my best friend is terrifying to me and for him too. We're very close to each other so separating feels like too much pain. I'd never want him to not be in my life so I'd love to have him as a friend but how do I do that when we love each other? My mom wants me with a stronger man, a man who'd take initiative and lead me right. I'm a bit more mature that my boyfriend but he's very teachable, he always trying to better himself to love me right. I'm really don't want to leave him but I'm also scared of marrying him then regretting it. I'm almost 18 (1 month from now) and he's 19 and we've talked about eventually getting married when we're around 25, we don't wanna rush him but as long as I live by my mom she won't allow me to date him even if I wanted to. I know it's important that our purposes/values/goals align as well. Thinking about this makes me feel sick and I don't know what to do🙁

[HollyK21]

At the end of the day it’s your relationship and any decisions you make should be because you fully back that up and not because you don’t want to disappoint or upset your mom. However I must say, anytime my mom has spoken to me and about a guy, regardless of whether or not I asked for that advice my mom has always been right, especially in my teens and early 20s.


Of course our parents can be wrong and I think after living with her your whole life you’d know if she were being exceptionally irrational, unfair or ridiculous. Besides just being our parents and looking out for our best interests, don’t forget she’s both experienced and witnessed much more than you, probably very similar situations too so she knows better.


This isn’t me saying to leave your relationship because of your mom, like if we’re being super honest you probably have no intent of leaving him anyway because he has necessarily done anything wrong. Still, I would at the very least deeply consider the “why’s” of what my mom was saying. I wouldn’t vent to boyfriend anymore about what your mom is saying either. Like I get he’s your bestie but it’s a conflict of interest. You think he’s going to co-sign what your mom is saying when it involves breaking up? Of course not. That’s why the choice has to be yours, after thinking about it on your own time.

[DishLady]

Try to hear them out. There’s a reason for everything.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, young love, caught in the whirlwind of romance and parental wisdom! Your situation is like trying to navigate through a garden maze where both the heart and the brain want to find their way out, but they're not sure which direction to go. Let's sprinkle some love advice dust on this, shall we?

Your mom's perspective comes from a place of love and concern, seasoned with her own experiences. It's like she's trying to protect you from the storms she's weathered, which in itself is something to appreciate. However, remember, your relationship is your own unique journey, not a mirror of someone else's.

You mentioned your boyfriend is "very teachable" and always trying to better himself for the sake of your relationship. That's not just cute; it’s a sign of someone willing to grow, and growth is key in any relationship.

Now, here's a thought – have you considered involving your mom in your growth process? Sometimes, seeing is believing. If she witnesses his willingness to evolve and strengthen, it might ease her worries.

But darling, don't let the fear of future regret chain your decisions now. Regret is a ghost from the future haunting the present, and love is about taking leaps of faith, not calculated steps of certainty.

Your bond with your boyfriend seems strong, rooted in friendship and love, and that's a hard combo to find. If you truly believe in your connection and are committed to growing together, you might just prove to be the exception to your mom's fears.

Consider this: What if, instead of fearing an end, you focus on building a strong foundation? Talk about your values, your goals, your fears, and how you can support each other in becoming not just better partners, but better individuals.

Finally, keep the lines of communication open – with your boyfriend and your mom. It’s like being a heart in a love sandwich; you want to make sure everyone feels heard and respected.

Love is a journey, not a destination. So buckle up, fuel up on patience and understanding, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll navigate through this garden maze hand in hand, with your mom cheering on from the sidelines. Who knows, love might surprise you all. 💕

[Hannajenky]

In the past I have ignored them, but usually they end of being right if I’m honest with myself

[In_Trance]

You should probably listen to them

[Agape93]

Ignore em