1. How would you define what it means to respect women? 2. Do you live out that definition? If so, what are real-life examples?
Women: 1. How would you define what it means for a man (or boy) to respect women? 2. Do you feel that men/boys in your life live out that definition? 3. What are some real-life examples of how men and boys have respected or disrespected you?
Bonus round:
1. Do you feel like there's a disconnect between what is viewed as respectful by different genders? If so, what do you think causes that?
Men I am friends with in real life treat me with respect.
The problem I see with how men can be disrespectful towards women is that a lot of men don't really even like women. They just need us because they want sex. But ask a guy if men and eomen can truly be friends and a lot of guys will say no because guys will try to have sex with us instead. This shows that guys only think about women as sexual objects really.
They don't like anything else about us. They have no interest in what we are interested in, they don't want to actually really hangout with us if sex isn't involved.
That's treating women as being beneath them and only using us for sex.
Not all guys obviously but there is an alarming amount of guys that deep down don't like women. They only want vagina.
My aim here is to sprinkle a bit of love and understanding on the intriguing dance of gender dynamics. Respecting the fairer sex, in my flirting playbook, means recognizing and valuing their experiences, feelings, and boundaries with the same earnestness we give to our own. It's about listening with the heart, not just the ears, and understanding consent is the sexiest language we can learn.
Living out this definition? Absolutely. Whether it's ensuring I'm always an open-hearted listener for my wife, or teaching my daughter the power of her voice, it's about walking the talk. The real magic happens in those daily gestures - like truly hearing their day's stories without trying to fix everything like a macho handyman, or championing my wife's ambitions as loudly as my own.
As for the bonus round, oh, the spicy disconnect! It's often like we're dancing to different tunes, isn't it? Much of it boils down to how we're tuned into society's myriad channels. Men are often taught a machismo mixtape, while women's playlist is more harmony-focused. Bridging this gap starts with turning down the volume on stereotypes and really tuning into each other's frequencies. Let's make respect the universal beat we all groove to, shall we? 😉
People deserve respect. Almost everyone. Except those who harm the weaker ones. Respect for women or men doesn't differ. We may treat women and men slightly differently, but respect is always the same. Examples? If your conversation partner doesn't pay attention to what you say, ignores parts or all of your statements. That's a total lack of respect. Similarly, when someone uses violence against you. Or steals or damages your property. When they gossip about you behind your back. When they lie. When they don't consider you and what you represent. When your conversation partner takes the time to understand your point of view, that's showing respect. When they check if you're keeping up. When people make sure you feel accepted. When they let you finish your statement, even if they disagree with you. When they don't judge you based on things you can't control (such as your background, skin color, gender). When they don't solely focus on achieving their own goal in their interactions with you.
In the past, many people treated me without respect. Now, I don't allow them to do that anymore.
1. Simply treat us like people and don’t act or speak to us in a respectful manner the same way you’d do to other men.
2. Some do, some don’t. I avoid the ones who don’t. 3. If they acted like a normal decent person, they were 99% of the time respectful. If they didn’t, 99% of the time they weren’t. 4. yes. Men think women want chivalry. We don’t. It’s worthless and disrespectful
Hmm gotcha. To me that does not sound chivalrous, it sounds demeaning.
When I think of chivalry, I think of being polite and opening doors for ladies, serving them their food/drink first, or if there's a wardrobe accident quietly telling them/standing in front of them so no one sees.
You do realize opening doors for women and serving them food first is exactly what I’m describing, right? Tell somebody that their wardrobe is malfunctioning is the bare minimum. Do you not tell men their flies are open? Treating women like that is demeaning, especially if you don’t do the same for men. If chivalry is being polite, why don’t you do that for everyone. If you’re only polite to half of people, you’re a douchebag. 50% is not a passing grade.
I get what you're saying but I disagree. The word chivalry traditionally describes a knight and how a knight should conduct himself towards others (not only towards women). Of course, the word has lost much of its meaning and is now primarily used to describe how a man treats a woman, but I do think that it still retains some of it's original meaning
Are you a knight? If so you should probably be doing whatever knights do instead of arguing over chivalry online. If you’re not, which is the most likely case, just be normal. Why does chivalry matter to you so much. If you’re doing chivalry despite women not liking it, you’re doing it for yourself, not them.
respect is earned not given. doesn't matter which gender they are
unlike men who are still beholden onto their traditional masculine roles because women, society and reality in general punishes them for not doing so, for women they have been granted that choice to deviate from traditionality without punishment because men still traditionally shield them from the harshness of the world
women who want to be housewives, be feminine, traditional loves kids etc. and act accordingly will earn respect
on the other hand, women who want to be more non-traditional, independent, masculine etc. and go around comparing men to other men and themselves to men claiming which men are "real men" and which men are not "real men" are asking for a spotlight to be shined on them and when they don't measure up, all bets are off as they're asking for disrespect
Men on the internet have been disrespectful while those I meet in real life have been helpful. I don’t know if it’s due to racism or sexism which may be more rampant in some parts of the world
It's because the ones on the internet are alone and mad because they don't have a girlfriend or wife so they lash out at all women. The reason why you don't encounter them in real life is because they never leave their computers unless it's to go to work and come back home to seethe more on the internet.
At my past job corporate had a bad habit of hiring people without properly vetting them, and there were definitely two or three guys who fit that description and then some. So I've definitely encountered a few of those guys in real life.
Yep it's as simple as "I'm not getting what I want so I'll pitch a fit"
What's hilarious is most if these guys just expect life to drop a woman into their lap but socially they don't put out any effort to meet people at all. They just live online and get mad they don't have a girlfriend.
I agree that "gender drama" can be a total waste of time, but I also enjoy trying to start conversations that make people think about how things /should/ be. I thought I might get some more traffic if I added gender to the question :)
I think people need to realize that on order to benefit themselves, they need to benefit others, so that a cycle of caring and trust is begun.
the last part of your question is something that is very present, and always has been
different people have very different concepts of what respect implies or means... and there's barely consistency among different "groups of people" and that represents a big problem sometimes, or a challenge at the very least
so... for me to make a big divide like this
" this is what respect for women is <<<< >>>>> but this is what respect for men is "
to me that's already a problem by itself, because it creates a divide from the get go
One example is that Raine likes for me to always get doors for her. I love getting the door for her because 1) she likes it and 2) that's how I grew up. It's one thing I can do for her out of respect.
And for me, I appreciate how she supports me by talking through my goals and what steps I'm taking to reach those goals. She truly believes in me and lends a helping hand.
As for more general examples, it has been verbalized repeatedly to me (by women) how much they appreciate it when guys don't look them up and down like a pop tart. And the guys I know appreciate it when women don't stereotype them too harshly. Just my experience 🤷♂️
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