How many chances do you give a person?

[DishLady]

In both my personal and professional life, I'm all about offering second and third chances to a person, but then there's always that point I know there's nothing to be done about how the other person is acting/treating others/etc. If it's someone I love obviously there are more chances, benefit-of-the-doubt considerations and more complicated dynamics at play.

How many chances do you give a person in your professional life? Do you offer more chances to a person in your personal life?

Updates

1 y

Hi All,

First, thanks to everyone who's been posting their opinions to this question! If you liked this one, please also check out the one by @7Pheonix7: What do you do when you're angry with someone? ↗

[HawkPerception]

Honestly when it comes to my best friend, I've given him more than a few chances in my life. He's done some pretty shady stuff with me, but in the end I've always communicated with him openly and honestly and now our friendship many years down the road is stronger than ever and he seems to have improved his character a lot.

When it comes to family, I give all the chances in the world because I never give up on them, just as they never give up on me.

However, I think it's different when it comes to friends and partners that don't react to honest communication well. If they get defensive and don't see their mistakes, I cut them out pretty quickly. I've had friends that I've cut out immediately after a single mistake simply because they did not handle the communication well afterwards.

My answer is it depends on who it is and how they react.

[OlderAndWiser]

In my personal life, I tend to give more chances, mainly because I have so much more time and energy invested in my personal relationships. However, there is a limit, even with the personal relationships. I have a sister who user her entire allotment of second chances and has now been written out of my life.

[DishLady]

Sorry to hear about the sister and thank you so much for sharing this personal detail. Yes, there are a few people who really test one's limits. :(

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the dance of chances in relationships is quite the tango, isn't it? Professionally, I lean towards a structured two-strike system. It's like setting the stage for a clear performance—once for learning, twice to correct. If the curtain falls twice on the same misstep, it's time to change the act.

Now, when it comes to personal life, ah, that's where the music slows down, and the dance gets intricate. Love and connection add layers of complexity, making it hard to keep count of the chances given. It's more about the vibes, isn't it? If the heart's symphony keeps playing, I'm there, conducting with more patience, trying to harmonize. But even in the most beautiful compositions, there comes a moment when you realize the melody might need to continue without certain instruments. It's about feeling the rhythm and knowing when the tune no longer serves the dance. What's your rhythm like? Are you a one-chance wonder or a conductor of endless encores? 🎶

[AviatorTom]

More than one. Everyone makes mistakes, we're human. One mistake is acceptable.

[Fatoumamoud]

In professional settings, if I have a partner or a group of partners to complete a project. If the person done something to make our project delayed then I will talk to them in order to get us on track again but if they insist on doing the same thing then I will seek higher hierarchy to change my partner or complete the project alone.

In personal life, depends on what you have done in other for me to give you a chance a second one. If you cheat on me then bye. If lied about major things like your whereabouts, having friends with female you didn't mentioned about then bye also.

I strive for a stress free life and I will do anything to keep it that way. I will not tolerate less then I deserve and I will be the best partner you could ever asked for.

[Crimsyjo]

Probably more chances in a professional relationship simply because that person's owes you much less than in a personal relationship. And the incident is likely less significant and there are probably changes you can make to prevent further incidences.

In a personal-especially romantic - relationship the person should love and respect you and care about your feelings so not want to do anything that causes you upset. The number of chances given really depends on the seriousness of the incident and whether it is behavioural. For instance, if they are always late when you make arrangements you can explain how it effects you. They should care about that and makes efforts to change their behaviour. You can give them chances to do this.

If however they choose to chat up semi naked women on the Internet? Maybe they get one chance to stop. Anything more serious than tho.. anything that is cheating, disrespectful, aggressive or abusive? No 2nd chance.

[TonyMetal___86]

Same as you miss dish, but the person who gets the most chances is supposed to be my spouse if i was married because she's a lifelong partner and because god wants us to fix all opsticules to keep the sacred marriage forever and to keep our family bonded together forever!

It also depends on the mistake or what the person had done, for example the only case where she gets no chances at all is if she cheats, i can never forgive or be with someone who cheated on me, period!

Anyways, even in the bible it's written that divorce is only justified in the case of cheating!

[OfMiceandMen]

I typically only give a person two chances. The first may have been an honest oops, whereas if it happens again then they really don't care.

[DishLady]

Actually that reminds me of something my coach at school used to say. If we did our routine movements correctly she wouldn’t say “good job” she’s say, “Ok try that again and show me it wasn’t just a lucky accident.” We had to prove that our good work was deliberate. I guess same goes for people trying to do anything. We can write the first misdeed off as perhaps accidental.

[NathanDavis]

depends on what it is...

but I definitely give others more than I give myself

[DishLady]

Same! I’m my own harshest critic!

[IslaTheWitch]

I don't count... it depends on the situation...

[slatyb]

Like everything, it depends. Did they make a good faith effort to do what they promised? Why weren't they able? Did they apologize and offer to make amends?

[JohnK123]

Kinda same like u if they deserve it then yeah but if not or nothing will change then no. How are you :)

[DishLady]

I’m good, thanks. :) Dealjng with the scorching summer weather. You?

[JohnK123]

Ohhh how hot is it for u now? I can’t sleep now tbh. Can we pleaseeeee dm haha

[DishLady]

Sure. Let me finish replying to the rest of the posts first. See you on the flip side in a bit.

[JohnK123]

Oh ok :) u have to dm me or follow me back bc ur settings are different :) but talk to u soon!

[Nikki1989]

Probably more chances than most people deserve.

[chrissykerdock]

1 chance easpecially if they hit you ever hear of a man that hits a woman once

[DishLady]

Yeah, I hear you. In general, though, baring that specific example, what about chances for actual friends etc?

[chrissykerdock]

i guess that would be different jesus christ said turn the other cheek so forgiveness is areality

[OddBeMe]

You analyze history of his behavior. Like a probation officer would.

[ChicoFromThe305]

One, on rare occasions I give two

[Dongie]

A lot depends on their reactions to failure.

[eagle1951]

one and done

[DishLady]

Ouch!