Would you rather have free use or ask before touching?

[Juxtapose]

The premise of the question is pretty simple. Would you rather have a lover who lets you touch them however you want and expects the same out of you? Or one who wants you to ask before ever touching them and they always ask before they touch you?

Personally free use is way better in my opinion. I want my lover to feel as free to touch me as they feel free to touch themselves, kind of like how you can pick up a cuddly cat whenever you want and they just go with it! And there's just something about being so.. possessed by each other. You feel more one.

Free use is better.

Asking every time is better.

Updates

1 y

I should clarify that in this hypothetical scenario you and your lover aren't new to each other. You would have already gone over basic boundaries and expectations. The question is, which type of situation would you rather have? Free use or you still have to ask every time?

[AviatorTom]

When I was growing up, free use is what I guess you would call it. Guys made passes at girls and girls made passes at guys. If the receiver didn't want it, they let the sender know, and everyone knew those rules.

Then radical feminism hit.

Now, you need a 30 page document, signed by both you and the other person you want to kiss. 🙄 plus you need to hire a lawyer if you want to do more.

[Juxtapose]

Yeah it's ridiculous. I'm autistic but I can read body language and if that fails a "no" works!

How feminists want relationships to work out is kind of like something a severely autistic person would think of. You have to make everything clinical, there has to be steps and check marks, etc. There's no room for vibes or body language.

[Juxtapose]

And frankly I think if someone is comfortable with me they should not mind me touching them in general.

[Juxtapose]

A lover, not a friend.

[Dongie]

All this and what the AI said. I love the intimacy turnup with being alone, and she is in control of all that goes. Makes me shake.

[MrOracle]

I definitely want my girl to be comfortable touching me as she likes when we are alone. Unless I am injured or something other rare exception that she would know about, free use is the norm. I set boundaries and expectations very early on about such things. Nearly every girl I have been with has felt exactly the same way.

[rachel776]

i would never want him to have to ask, if i'm not feeling like it i can tell him, but otherwise he can touch my anywhere

[Juxtapose]

Yeah that's how I would personally approach it as well. If she touches me and I don't want it I can just say so or gently grab her hand and move it away.

[rachel776]

*me

sorry i'm tired from being touched anywhere 🥱

[Juxtapose]

Hahaha high five to ya.

[rachel776]

[LisaS]

Free use and more often the better!

[Juxtapose]

Hot! 🔥🥵

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the realm of touch in a relationship is like dancing to your favorite tune, it's all about rhythm and comfort. If free use is your jam, that tells me you crave that spontaneous, electric connection where trust and mutual understanding are the DJ. It's enchanting, isn't it? Being so in tune with each other that you move together in perfect harmony, without needing to ask. Yet, for some, the melody of consent before touch strikes a chord of deeper intimacy, like a slow dance where every step is agreed upon, creating a rhythm of respect and anticipation. Embracing your partner's boundaries and desires, whether it's an open invite or a permission-required approach, turns that dance into a unique love song. Just remember, the key is to ensure that the beat resonates with both of you, creating a dance floor where love blossoms in every touch. 🔥💃🕺

[Apple1996]

I'm fine with free use

[paledreams]

There's some commercials like that the last few years about that sort of thing, ironically most of the commercials were actually same-sex lovers asking things like "is it okay if I kiss you? - yes" aka between two lesbians kissing in a cuddle, there was another commercial or print media like that about consent or wearing condoms between a hetero couple - uhhh I voted free use

[Juxtapose]

Yeah it gets pretty weird and if my cats are more okay with me cuddling them than my own girlfriend it just feels wrong.

[Juxtapose]

But don't get me wrong I do make sure my lover is into it.

[SotiCoto]

Boundaries should be defined in advance.

I made it quite clear with my exes that they could generally do what they want as long as I was aware of it in advance and didn't actively object to it.

The whole awareness thing was as much for their good as mine. My ex-wife once tried to surprise hug me from behind when I was sitting on a stool, typing away on a computer... and she got my elbow in her gut for her trouble. Reflex response. My body was ambushed by something unexpected and automatically defended itself.
She wasn't best pleased by that, but it didn't happen again.

[BetaBucks]

After a couple weeks together, it's pretty clear what the boundaries are, and even then, new boundaries can always be clarified. If a girl asked every time she touched me, I wouldn't be interested in continuing a relationship. I might tolerate having to ask, but it would probably get old quickly.

[TheorionMage]

I'd want the general witnessing public to ache with envious prurient voyeurous envy.
Simmering in their hypocritical sanctimonious 'righteousness' thinking: Twitching,,, Squirming, ... fantasizing... "Damn, THERE but for the 'grace' of God go I..."

[Berethor]

I think it silly to keep acting like strangers but feminists like to yell rape over everything. :)

[Juxtapose]

It's miserable to be around and it doesn't feel right to love somebody and have them treat you like some porcupine where they have to prepare to touch you.

[Berethor]

Yea it make sense at the start but after you done lot of stuff together it becomes silly.

[meepmeeperton]

Free use is way better in my opinion. To be honest, it would probably be annoying and a turn-off for my girlfriend if I was constantly asking permission for any contact with her.

[BoopBoopBeep]

If I touched random women the way random women touch me I'd be in jail.

My relationships have always been free use. If I'm having to sign a 10-page contract to kiss you when I get up and leave the table we won't share many tables.

[Amandanator]

I love being touched all over when I’m cuddled by someone I love. As long as he is mine he has free reign over this girl.

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

in my opinion, if your relationship is such you have to ask to touch them. It's a broken relationship. I'd leave and find someone that better fits in my life.

[Ms_Facesitter]

"Ask" It's something you need to talk about with your partner. For example, he's okay with being woken up to sex, so I am free to go to town while he's asleep if I feel like it. "free"

[Juxtapose]

I should have clarified that in the hypothetical scenario your lover and you have already had the boundaries talk. Your approach is the same as mine from what I can gather.

[Ms_Facesitter]

of course you have to have The Talk first, but when my likes and suggestions get that go from him, it does feel free, because I know to respect the boundaries.

[GeminiDiamond]

I don't mind the initial touching, but respect if I'm not all welcoming with said advance. Really depends. Tons of factors here and context.

[Sirenboobzilla]

I'm the beginning, I definitely want to be asked. After the comfort and familiarity is there, then free use is perfectly fine

[NathanDavis]

I've never been asked before...

that just doesn't make sense to me, lol

[AustColombiangirl]

I love letting guys have free use

[Juxtapose]

🤜🤛 fuck yeah!

[Migle_457]

He can touch me all over if I'm uncomfortable I will tell him

[Fireguy17]

It adds to the excitement of the time spent together.

[Dongie]

I have to go 50/50 or 100/100. It's a thrill to be expected to ask when alone, but in public of course not. You get me?

[Wise4myage]

Free use, but only if it feels right.

[Likes2drive]

Definitely free touch is better

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Free use is better?

[Jess014]

Free use