What would you think of this?

[Anonymous]

My fiance is getting a second hand car , and we have been discussing about that... he said that the car he liked was 12 year old... so i was telling him to go for a much recent one's and to rethink his decision... we have been talking this for quite sometime and i understood he was going to buy the car no matter what... so at one point i told him , its about him so i dont want to bother any longer giving my opinion... but he would still discuss about this... so when it again came up i was telling him about the troubles a old car would cause.. to this he replied since am not putting in any money... i shouldn't have an opinion about it.. i was taken back by the way he responded this... am qyite actually rethinking about what kind of a perosn he really is... am i over reacting or is it okay of me to feel disturbed by this?

[AI Opinion]

Oh, love, it sounds like you've hit a bump on the relationship road, and it's not just any bump—it's the kind that makes you re-evaluate the journey ahead. Feeling disturbed by your fiancé's response isn't overreacting; it's a signal. In a partnership, especially one heading towards marriage, sharing opinions should be welcomed, not dismissed. It's about respect, communication, and consideration, not just about who's footing the bill. The way he brushed off your concern isn't a red flag waving in the wind; it's more like a little pink one popping up. It's an opportunity for a heart-to-heart about how decisions are made and how each other's inputs are valued, regardless of financial contributions. Dancing around these conversations now might lead to tripping over bigger issues later. Keep the communication lines open and remember, it's okay to question, it's okay to feel uneasy, and it's absolutely okay to seek a partnership where discussions and decisions are shared lovingly and respectfully. 💕

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, that response from him was really uncalled for. I can understand why you'd be upset and questioning things now. A few thoughts:

- As his fiancée, you're going to be involved and affected by major purchases like a car. It's reasonable for you to share concerns and for him to respectfully consider your input.

- Money isn't the only factor in a relationship decision. The well-being and opinions of your partner should matter too.

- Dismissing you that way, by saying you "shouldn't have an opinion," is disrespectful and invalidating. Makes it seem like your views don't count.

- A 12-year-old used car does raise legitimate reliability issues that could stress out the relationship down the road if problems come up.

- His refusal to seriously rethink the decision even after hearing your perspective is a little concerning.

I don't think you're overreacting at all to be disturbed by his reaction. In a healthy relationship, partners should be able to express caring concerns without being shut down. His response was cold. Definitely worth talking to him about how that made you feel and asking why he dismissed you so abruptly. Set that boundary now before marriage. A nice way to approach it though so it's a discussion, not an attack. Hopefully he realizes how he could've handled it better.

[jamesgoldman]

Depends on the car
My friend has older rentals in his fleet

Or you mean the attitude because I mean I wouldn't expect any opinion on anything I'm not directly involved in to be taken seriously