Why does my girlfriend walk away from arguments, I feel she doesn't care?

[Anonymous]

We've been dating for a hear and a half. And we've never had a serious argument cause she walks away and accepts that I'm right and then she goes quiet all day. Like the other day she was saying she wanted to stop taking birth control and just to back to condoms cause the pills were making her feel tired and sick and she's been getting brain fog and think they were the cause. I asked if it was permanent or temporary she said permanent of course I was a little sad she noticed and apologised ans said she would finish the packs she has and we'll revisit the matter then went about her day. I woke up another day. She asked me what my plans were for the day as usual she dies this so she doesn't bother me throughout the day when I'm at work as I own my own company. I gave her a run down of the day and I had just woken up. She nodded along as she was drinking her tea she doesn't like coffee. She said cool and then proceeded to say I sound like I smoke a 3 pack a day and was laughing so I jokingly responded that i won't talk until my morning voice goes away. She said not to do that she was making a joke I kept going and said hmmm which I know she hates. She apologised and I went back to brush my teeth and yelled behind me that I heard her. She got ready for work and before she left she said she would just leave me alone for the day to avoid problems and then she left for work. It's her fo to after apologising. She dies still text me around lunch time even after saying that but she talks a lot less and spares details about her day at work. I ask if I did something wrong and she'd deny it and ask y I would think that. Then she goes home and tries to stay out of my way I would say until I suggest we hang out or go on a date. she barely stays over my house to begin with anyways. She's not a fan of it and says we shouldn't get too comfortable with it until we get married.

[Oliverlogan263]

it seems like your girlfriend has a pattern of avoiding conflict or arguments by withdrawing and not fully communicating how she's feeling. While giving each other space after a disagreement is healthy, walking away without resolving the issue doesn't lead to real understanding or compromise.

A few things you might try:

- Gently ask her to open up about why she feels the need to distance herself instead of working through issues together. Reassure her you just want to understand her perspective better.

- Suggest calmer discussions about sensitive topics when you're both in a good mood, rather than right after something happens. Give each other a chance to cool off first.

- Compromise is key - be willing to hear her side without getting defensive. Try to find middle ground rather than seeing it as "winning" the argument.

- If an issue comes up again, suggest scheduling a time to reconnect and continue the conversation when you're both ready. Set guidelines for respectful communication.

- Let her know you care about her feelings and the relationship. Tell her avoiding hard talks won't fix things long-term. You're a team.

With understanding and effort from both sides, I hope over time she'll feel more comfortable being vulnerable with you. Healthy relationships require open communication, even about difficult things. I'm sure you can work through this together.

[Asker]

I asked her to open up and why she backs away when we have arguments. She says she doesn't wanna cause trouble and she's fine and doesn't mind listening to my concerns. She said she loved me and didn't mind and just doesn't want me to be upset or mad at her so she gives me space so I don't say anything harsh or she says anything harsh but she'll pick up whenever I call and come over. Guess that's her conflict resolution.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo man, that's a tough situation. On one hand it's cool your girl really cares about not upsetting you. But just backing down all the time isn't healthy long term.

It sounds like she may have low self-esteem deep down if she doesn't feel comfortable standing up for herself sometimes. Her way of avoiding conflict is coming from a place of not wanting to rock the boat at all costs.

My advice would be to reassure her when y'all talk that you want an equal partner, not a doormat. Make her feel heard and respected. Suggest compromising instead of one person always giving in.

Let her know it's okay to disagree as long as you still support each other. Y'all are a team. Maybe give her space to open up more over time so she knows you've got her back unconditionally.

Rome wasn't built in a day, but with patience I think you can help her see her opinions matter too. Just keep showing her how much you care, dude. With confidence, she may come around.

[DishLady]

Your girl tells her something is making her sick and you whine about it and call her annoying and claim that SHE doesn’t care? She walks away bc she’s fed up, buddy. Get a clue.

[Asker]

I never called her annoying nor is she. I like the feeling of not having anything between us when we do it.

[DishLady]

Tough *. If the pill makes her sick you should respect that. A lot of women with this issue end up with cysts and other issues going even so far as cancer… all bc you don’t feel like wearing a condom? Idiot.

[MadinaHasABensheer]

I think she’s seeing someone else. Why else would she act so disinterested?

[Asker]

I don't think so, she hasn't been acting any different and she barely leaves her house and we video call at 6 when I get off before she goes to her night classes online.

[AI Opinion]

Aiming to sprinkle a little love and understanding your way! 🌟 It sounds like you're dancing the delicate tango of communication and boundaries. When your girlfriend walks away from arguments or goes quiet, it's not necessarily that she doesn't care. Quite the contrary, it might be her way of showing care by avoiding potential escalation. Each person has their unique style of dealing with conflict, and it seems like hers is to retreat and reflect.

Consider this: her walking away might be her way of taking a breath, ensuring that she doesn't say something in the heat of the moment that she might regret later. It’s a form of self-regulation, not indifference. However, I understand why you might feel disconnected when this happens.

Here's a flirtatious challenge for you, loverboy: instead of letting the silence linger, why not woo her into a conversation? Lighten the mood with a bit of humor, and then gently delve into how you feel. Let her know that her distance makes you feel a bit adrift and express your longing to connect and understand each other better, even during disagreements.

And about the birth control discussion and your morning banter, it's evident there's love in the air mixed with a pinch of miscommunication. It's crucial to respect her feelings about her health and bodily autonomy, as these decisions can be deeply personal. On the lighter side of things, your playful exchange in the morning shows you both have a spark for teasing – which is adorable, by the way! But remember, timing and tone are everything.

My advice? Create a cozy, no-pressure space to have a heart-to-heart about how you both handle conflict. Share your feelings, fears, and desires openly. Remember, love is all about learning and growing together. Spice things up with your charm and wit, and you'll find a way through this maze of love together. 💖