Why does my girlfriend want to take a step back from our relationship?

[Ardinola]

About a year ago I was working over the summer, when I met this girl. We were working together, and we ended up goofing off and having a bunch of fun. When we were leaving, she wrote her number and a heart on my arm. After a while I called her. We talked for a while, but not extremely long. I thought we came to be pretty good friends. When school started, I figured out that we went different places. But I still talked to her, mainly through e-mail by now. We kept e-mailing each other, but no so much as before. When interviews came up for where we had worked before, she called me and asked if I was going. I was, and we met up at the place where the interviews were. However, neither of us recognized the other, and we only spent like five minutes talking once we finally figured out who the other person was. We still had fun, though, and we started e-mailing a lot after that. As the summer came around we all but stopped talking. A few weeks ago, she called me out of the blue, and we talked on the phone for hours after that. Last week, she asked if I wanted to go hang out at the library near we live. I went, and we sat and talked for an hour straight or longer. When I got back home, she called me. She said that she had been planning to tell me that she liked me as more than a friend at the library, but chickened out. I told her that I liked her the same way, and we decided then and there that we were BF/GF (her idea, not mine). The next day, she asked me to go to a free concert thing near the library. Once again, I went. Fifteen minutes into it, I was holding her hand. We walked to the front of the crowd and danced once (the concert was set up like that on purpose). We walked over to a nearby restaurant, she ordered (because I had never been there before), and I paid. After we ate, we walked around, not really heading toward anywhere. At one point she stopped, turned around, and hugged me all in like 5 seconds. After that, we moved our heads so we were looking into each other’s eyes. We both moved in, and kissed. We then started making out. That lasted a couple minutes, and then we kept walking. We’ve talked since, but not as much as before. Yesterday, she said we should take a step back and get to know each other better. I agreed, because she seemed really worried about it, and I didn’t want to mess things up with her. Now she says we need to "hang out", which is not dating. But she hasn't asked to hang out, and I'm afraid to. What should I do? Why does she want to take a step back?

[rosieeebaby]

I think that it is pretty natural for her first instinct to be wanting to step back. Time can really change people, and you already said that both of you aren't the same people as you were that first summer you met. That doesn't mean to say that she doesn't think highly of you, just that she needs time to get to know this new person. In my opinion, there should be no rush to get into a relationship. If you honestly care about her that much, then you'll wait. What worries me about this situation though is the fact that she says you guys should "hang out". I can't help but think that maybe when she says this she might be suggesting that she has different intentions than you. Like perhaps that she doesn't like you in that way anymore and that she just wants to be friends, or that she's only physically attracted to you and only wants to hook up and have nothing more meaningful. I think the key here is communication. You need to talk to her and ask her what her intentions are and where she sees/ wants your guys relationship to go. Its also really important that you let her know what you want out of all of this as well.