Would you get mad at the person your significant other is flirting with?

[Anonymous]

So yesterday we had this volunteer come in and as soon I met him we just hit it off like we knew each other for a long time. Joking, teasing at each other, even flirting. I would catch him staring at me, at times he would quickly look away or if not it's like he wouldn't even care that I caught him staring at me. At times he would find a way to like touch my hand or back. Which I didn't mind at all. So today he decided to tease me again, by wearing his favorite team jersey ( a team I don't like and he knew that's why he wore it ) so I told him how his jersey made him look ugly and he said how the hairstyle I did yesterday made me look ugly. Once again the teasing/flirting continued. So everyone is witnessing all of this, they also saw how he ran to his car to give me his sweater because it started down pouring rain all of a sudden. So we both started giggling when he was telling me how good I look with his hoodie on , so I said, I'm glad you think so because now I'm going to keep it. He started laughing and said something while walking away. So all of a sudden the girls that I work with was like attacking me saying like, "omg I can't believe you're doing this, I didn't expect it from you". So I'm like so confused, and luckily my co worker that I became best friends with told me that he was married and I honestly didn't know. I was being completely honest with everyone about what I was told. So one of the girls was saying how she would yell and cuss me out if she saw me wearing her guy hoodie, because that's something you don't do at all. Which I do understand but I just feel like if that person didn't know I can't get mad. But I will get mad at my significant other for doing it.

Updates

1 y

Even my boss chimed in because she thought it was odd for him to do it especially since he barley knew me and just let me put it on

[provokeesmokee]

I'm poly.

I would not unless they start making out and fucking right in front of me without any sort of consent or heads up from me.

Flirting is fine. I flirt with others, too. Half the time it isn't even flirting, it's just not being a dick.

I'm secure in my partnerships and in myself.

If there's bad shit, we'll talk it out like adults who love each other.

[Asker]

That's totally understandable, plus some guys are really loyal and would still flirt. One of my guy friends never cheated on his girlfriend, and they've been together for 4 years now, and she knows he's a flirt but he doesn't do anything else to push it. So to them it's like a cute friendly flirting that he does. And just like you said they also talk it out. So I feel like that's why she trust him and is okay with it
As for the guy that is flirting with me, he could just be enjoying it, he's in his late 40's and I'm 32. When he made a mistake and said sorry to my best friend and she replied back " you're fine " I think he heard me when I said, " yes you are fine " and my friend and I started giggling because he looked right at me and started smiling and that was when it all happened, so it could be a harmless flirt due to our age difference it probably makes him happy. I just know now to be careful since he's married

[Kaneki05]

No it's like the same idiots who blame the so called 'homewrecker' yeah cause she was the one that decided to make him cheat right?
It matters not whom the other person is, it matters on your partner who committed to you.

[Asker]

Exactly! I never understood how the other person gets the blame as well. And now that I actually experienced it. That really made me confused because clearly we all didn't know until my boss said something only because she noticed I was wearing his hoodie and apparently he had it on when she first talked to him before he came to volunteer. So it was just odd for me to get attacked if it was clear that we all wouldn't have known if it wasn't for our boss saying it.
I can never get mad at the person even if they did start it first because if they're not told, how would they know.

[JustinTheGreat]

If you didn’t know, then you shouldn’t be blamed at all. They should focus that energy on the dude who’s actually cheating. Not you

[Asker]

They didn't know either until my boss said something, and we all still wouldn't know if my boss didn't see me wearing his hoodie and her remembering he had it on before he even started volunteering for us.. I even told them, I'm going to be responsible next time, even though I shouldn't because I didn't do anything but I would still like to apologize and tell him that if I knew he was married I wouldn't have flirted or even teasing him for that matter, because i don't do that to guys that are in a relationship or married. A part of me did feel a little guilty because I'm not that type of person to do that. Now I know to be careful and back off