Relationships

What to do when you have an avoidant and anxious dynamic with a guy?

I am actually a fearful avoidant woman. I just noticed it as my dating patterns are hardly existent. If I do like someone i usually prefer those who are not attainable. I am also not consistent and often disappear on social media when triggered.

For about 3 months though, i started talking to a guy on and off. He was at the first call very into me and wanted to always call and text and he got upset when I placed boundaries and did not call him such that he unsent messages on fb. After a week or so, we got to talk again and we do have these late night talks and we do get along as we can talk for hours.

Needless to say, he does overthink a lot. He overthinks when I respond late so he admitted he responds late too. He also admitted sometimes he fights me because he can feel whenever I get "cold". He also shares that he wants us to have a cute name for each other which at first I turned down. I felt so sorry for him lately because he again fought me when I hardly could not say the pet name he want me to say. He repeated it many times for me to call him but I didn't and I felt pity. He got so upset and thought that he just wants to stop because he feels he is forcing things and he is the only one who likes me.

I tried to explain that he is too fast considering it's still 3 months but he said he doesn't find it too fast because I know a lot about him already. Since he did not respond, i tried to message him twice saying I'll make it up to him and finally he went back and said he misses me. The thing is he is saying he no longer wants to chat with others and is asking whether I'm serious of him.

When I told him I wanted to have no labels, he got really mad and said he is serious of me. I am really bothered because I never had someone as persistent and as "inlove" as he is but I fear as an avoidant I might hurt him again and again because of who I am. I seem to only act well when he fights me and he knows this already so it might be toxic if this goes on. What do you think?

What to do when you have an avoidant and anxious dynamic with a guy?
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