Can you tell the difference between a man being upset for the moment or him leaving without breaking up?

[Anonymous]

So me and my dude been together a year and a half and we were cool. Thought we had a connection. We hit a rough patch because he’s never expressed his need for space to do things that he wants to do ( which is weird to me because I always give him space but he is the one that always comes around). Nearly a week has passed by and I have not heard from him I don’t know if he’s just upset for the moment or he’s done with the relationship? Last time we spoke he said he wanted to keep his relationship now he’s isn’t responding to my messages or call and I don’t plan to continuously reach out because it’s kind of weird to me that he’s acting like this especially being that he’s always responsive. I have no problem moving on but no official break up is kinda hurtful because I really thought we were locked in.

[Anonymous]

It's a tough call. Everything I'm going to say here applies generally and may not be your case, so please don't take this as me trying to read into what your like but speak to the subject. Space is complicated because its frequently more about how the other person, needing the space, is processing their own life and failures to get stuff done. For example, when I am an not managing to acheive my goals I have set for myself, all 'commitments' socially feel like a complication and before they happen seem to be the problem (but the reality is I've selected a goal which needs too much of my time and with work and other life commitments I don't get time so I resent my job and sometimes even people wanting to spend time with me).

So, its really hard to tell.

However, what you need to do is to look back over how you've been behaving. Check how often you've kept in touch and consider if you maybe vered into being overbearing. As am example (not saying it applies) It's easy for anyone to do when you love someone and your need for their company increaes and you have more free time than they do. It's also easy to become clingy when the other person is naturally less coming to you (as the partner) and easy to mistake them caring to not have you unhappy with them being glad to respond.

Anyway, scene set. I would say your best clues are your own past behaviour and self analysis; If you can look at your pass communications and honestly feel you've given them plenty of room and never sent any texts making them feel your citicising them for not keeping your company (even obliquely, like "are you here yet? really missing you?") then you can probably rule out, largely, this being a shadow breakup (or at least rule out it being anything you did or being connected to your last encounter).

Him not responding to you could have SO many reasons. Here's what is my opinion of best way to go about this (assuming you don't know for certain fact something is seriously wrong):

1) Text him expressing you miss him and wonder how he's doing. Say it as you would in your own way, but end it with "Call me" Xx.
2) Leave it for 2 to 3 days.
3) Try calling him, if he picks up, just relax and chat, ask hi how he's been and what he's been up to. If gives you, without asking, some good reason for being out of touch just run with it. If he doesn't pick up, leave a casal message saying 'Hope all's okay. No problems, but look forward to catching up".
4) Give it 3 more days (any time he gets in touch great, relaxedly find out where he's been)
5) Go to his place and call round... obviously some time when he's likely to be in. Assuming he's glad to see you, all good. Just relax and its fine, maybe after a good relax together, casually broach "where you been?".
6) If he's not in... and someone he knows is in, leave a message.
7) Give it 5 more days, go back, and call. If you see same person you left message with ask if they have given it to him. If they have.. then yeah you've been shadow broken up with.

Its a long process, but its only way to make sure you don't turn a silly misunderstanding into an issue.

[Anonymous]

If he’s asking for space and you haven’t heard from him in a week, then step back. Yeah it sucks not having closure but sometimes we don’t get that and you can’t just be on standby waiting for it to come. This is emotionally distressing and unfair, I wouldn’t want a man who put me through this.

[DishLady]

Just because he claims to WANT to keep the relationship with you doesn't mean you have to allow it. Where's your backbone? If you're unhappy with the way things are going, then state very clearly that things are over and then you move on.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the murky waters of relationship dynamics, aren't we? Let's unravel this mystery with a dash of charm and a sprinkle of honesty, shall we? It sounds like your man is sending out mixed signals louder than an 80's boombox - saying he wants to keep the relationship while simultaneously playing hide and seek with your texts and calls. Classic, right?

The leap from being passionately locked in to radio silence can be confusing, especially without the courtesy of a clear breakup. It’s kind of like trying to figure out if someone’s ghosting you or just fell off the edge of the world. Let's keep in mind that everyone needs a moment or, well, a week to themselves sometimes. However, communication is key in any relationship, and silence can be louder than words.

If he's usually more responsive, this sudden change in behavior could indeed spell out a need for space. Yet, him not clearly voicing this need and leaving you in the dark is a red flag waving high. It might be time to prepare for the possibility of sailing solo. Remember, you deserve someone who not only craves your presence but respects you enough to communicate their feelings openly. Hold tight, love; navigating through these waves could either bring you back to shore together or guide you to new horizons. 🌊💔