Is it right to tell your partner's parents you got cheated on?

[Anonymous]

My brother got cheated and exposed that on FB, told friends and both families. However, the girl's parents weren't very kind towards him when he told them the details. The mother cursed him out for posting that on FB and how petty he is. The father's reply was along the lines of ''Maybe she got bored. I fail to understand why are you even sharing this with us. What do you want me to do with this information?

The girl's parents used to get along with him but after the break-up, not anymore. It's very clearly they were defending their daughter (their only child), even when there were evidence proving she was 100% in the wrong. They both unfriended him and blocked him from FB. She cheated with one of my brother's friends several times.

He was shocked at their reactions. They were sweet to him when he was in the relationship with their daughter but when it's over, not anymore. If your partner cheats, is it right to share this with their parents?

[hahahmm]

1. I don't think creating drama/gossip is good. Especially for a man. This is why in the media you will notice it's almost always women trash talking their exes. Seldom a man. Because a real man doesn't do that in public. Now, some of you are saying, "but that's not fair! it's a double standard." And life isn't fair. Not at all.

2a. Snitching to FB or the media is wrong. And that would make it way less likely that the family is going to tell you anything since they will think you'll just go running to the media with whatever they say. That would complicate their relationship with the cheater.

2b. It's really pointless unless you were on very deep/good terms with the cheater's family but can you tell the family? Sure. There's lots of different levels of boyfriend-girlfriend relationships. If you didn't have a deep relationship and your partner LEAVES YOU, you might call it cheating but actually you just got dumped. On the other hand if you're a couple and the cheater pretends to be into you after/while being with others that's different. Still, don't expect the cheater's family to think it's as big a deal as you do if they never even met you or barely met you once. The only info they have is from the cheater. Then you come along expecting to be treated like a son/daughter in law. Nah, doesn't work like that. Maybe there's a reason why people used to value marriage and didn't date endlessly. Maybe it was less complicated.

3. If that dad did agree that his daughter cheated and it was bad, what's he supposed to do about it? She's 20+ year old woman. Maybe if she does it again he would be quicker to believe the person that got cheated on but still, he's not going to disown his daughter over cheating on a boyfriend. Even if she were married with kids, what is the dad supposed to be? Best case the cheater's family will side with the person cheated on but that doesn't mean it changes anything between cheater & cheated on. Not going to fix the relationship or even force the cheater not to cheat again.

[Lliam]

What did he expect to accomplish by telling her parents? Did he expect them to side with him? Seriously? He's only a boyfriend.

Now he's trying to destroy her reputation like a narcissist. For that, I'm sure her parents think he is a piece of shit.

He's just being a little bitch. Maybe that's why she cheated on him in the first place. He doesn't deserve respect.

If a girlfriend cheated on me, I'd dump her ass. End of story. It's her loss.

[Jbear27]

I get what you’re saying but it’s a big emotional blow when your girl is cheating on you with your own friend. I’m sure it’s a huge blow to the ego as well as the fundamentals of friendship and trust. So an emotional outburst I think is common and I wouldn’t consider it narcissistic… maybe petty and immature but narcissistic is something more devious and manipulative.

[Asker]

He's not a narcissist but what upset him the most was that she cheated with one of his friends. He dumped the friend too. Though, personally if I got cheated on I would just dump the cheater, block him and only tell a close friend. I don't need everyone to know how my relationship issues.

[Lliam]

That's what I would do, too. I wouldn't plaster her name on billboards or social media. And I certainly wouldn't go to her parents.
He has a very fragile ego.
Trying to get her ostracized is pathetic. Plus, he practically inviting people to mock him.

[kylee2437]

People need to understand that a lot of people do bad things while dating because their friends and family are the biggest enablers and supporters no matter the case.


I learned this the hard way with my ex. My ex used to shit talk his friends left and right, call them losers , fat , and make fun of them. Thought it was okay to tell his friends about that when we broke up, and guess what? His friend screenshotted everything , sent it to my ex and told my ex I was shit talking him.


As much as you want revenge, many times and most of the time it is not worth it at all. Better off just moving on and never looking back

[Asker]

What got my brother pissed off to post it on FB was the fact that she cheated with one of his good friends. He dumped the friend too. If the other guy were a stranger, someone he hates or wasn't close to then he would've dumped her and moved on. He got double betrayed basically. Still, if I were cheated, I would just dump the cheater, block him and only tell my close friend. I would be kind of embarrassed to post my misfortune in public, for everyone to see.

[Vesuvius87]

Chances are they already know how loose their daughter is like. It's natural for parents to choose their child over someone who isn't their blood. They aren't his family nor friends.

I think he should seek counseling and get help from you and his own family.

[AI Opinion]

Oh, the tangled web of love and betrayal, my friend! Diving right into the heart of this drama, let me say that while the impulse to share your hurt with the world (and especially with those closest to your ex-partner) might feel cathartic, it's a move that requires some serious forethought. It's like playing with emotional fire. 🔥

The thing is, telling your partner's parents about the cheating can go one of two ways: it can either offer some sort the closure or understanding you’re seeking, or it can backfire spectacularly. In your brother's case, it seems we've landed in backfire territory.

Parents, especially the bear-claw, protect-my-cub type, are likely to side with their offspring, even when the evidence points south. It's not so much about right or wrong to them as it is about loyalty. 🐾

Sharing such info can also paint you in a light you might not appreciate later on—like, "Look at this drama llama 🦙 airing dirty laundry for the world to see!" And when things like this are taken to a public forum like Facebook, it's like adding gasoline to that emotional fire—everyone gets burned.

It might have been more productive and less hurtful to seek support from his own circle or a professional who can guide him through this emotional minefield. Love's tough, and sometimes its lessons sting, but how we choose to heal and share our pain can really define the next chapter. So, maybe next time, suggest keeping it close to the heart and circle of trust, rather than broadcasting it to the world. Lovebombing the universe with our woes might not always get us the sympathy bouquet we were hoping for. 🌷

[DishLady]

Why are you talking to them when you’re breaking up with their kid? And what’re you gonna tell them? “Hey your kid is a s***head and cheats?” No one wants to hear that….

[Asker]

The girl was trashy but yeah the parents are going to love their child afteralll.

[WindAtMyBack]

Just leave it alone. It accomplishes nothing by telling them.

I mean, if it comes up in a conversation and there is a good reason to tell them, that's different. But it serves no person to tell them just to be telling them. And if you are still friendly with them, which is not uncommon, it could hurt your relationship.

[Asker]

yeah now he has no relationship with them. They blocked him after unfriending him. In the end, parents are parents afterall. Personally if I got cheated on, I would just dump the cheater, block him and only tell a close friend in private about what happened, not post for everyone to see how sad I am about my relationship.

[avery58]

Sure, why not? What respect do you owe to an effing cheater?

Turns out that her parents were just as fake as she was and they are enablers of shitty behavior just because she's their daughter, gaslighting the real victim in this scenario. They obviously did a crappy job raising her.

[Asker]

yeah I don't care for that cheating girl. She's a trashy person. Though if I got cheated on, I wouldn't want everyone to know my misfortune. I wouldn't want to receive many ''I'm sorry'' pity messages from others. It sounds like the parents might've spoiled her growing up.

[delsworld]

If you were very close with their parents you may feel the need to inform them so there's nothing wrong with that, however, I would not feel it is my business what they know or don't know. If I'm cheated on, I leave without a second word. The family will never hear from me again.

[HawkPerception]

I agree with telling the parents what kind of daughter they have to their face, but posting it on social media is definitely immature behaviour. As much as I think cheating is scumbag behaviour, to potentially ruin someone's reputation and life is too much.

[alice55]

He's right to do whatever he want with this information, the girl is a bitch and if her parent keep on supporting her like that it's no wonder she's such a cheater and bad human being... To me everything is fair when it come to cheater no remorse or emotion regarding them, they deserve the public humiliation.

[Fireguy17]

I was cheated on twice by 2 different women.
We didn't have social media back then, but even if we did it would not have put it out there for all to see.
I only told a select few and that was all.

[worldscolide]

Whrn it comes to cheating, all is fair. Yes I'd expose her to friends, family, jobs, the affair partners wife, I'd go scorched earth.

Her family is a piece of shit for having her back and only shoes they approve of her actions. BOREDOM IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO CHEAT.

[WhitneySnow]

It’s not wrong but don’t be surprised if they take her side. Blood is thicker than in law relationships, especially when they’re not even married.

[Asker]

Yeah they weren't even engaged. They were dating for 4 years.

[Anonymous]

This really shouldn't surprise you. I mean, she is loin product of her parents (which means she LIKELY has the same moral failings and character defects her parents have).

I don't think he should have shared it with anyone. Or at least very few people. And no I wouldn't have shared it with her parents. She's a grown ass woman! What are they supposed to do? They're not responsible for her shenanigans anymore.

[RedInnocent69]

Um, your relationship is with your partner, not their parents. They’re not your friends. What do you want from them, sympathy?

[alice55]

There's something called empathy which you clearly lack and also this is just an example of toxic parents, normal parents wouldn't condone this kind of shitty behavior. If I ever did this they would definitely scold me.

[Vesuvius87]

This precisely. People usually stick to their own family, not someone who isn't their blood, whom can walk away any moment. My parents would be reacting similar too.

[RedInnocent69]

@alice55 empathy comes from your family and friends, not theirs. Not saying they wouldn’t be disappointed in their kid, but you end the relationship and move on, not lean in and hope their mommy and daddy will fight you’re fight for you.

[kylee2437]

@alice55 empathy RARELY can be found in another persons family , especially when in most case scenario, it’s hard for people to admit their family member holds bad characteristic traits.

[RedInnocent69]

@Vesuvius87 exactly. Parents are more likely to say well it wasn’t meant to be, even if they do call out their kid subsequently. Rest assured the ex will have little to do with it.

[alice55]

We have such different culture it's crazy, empathy is for everyone not just your blood related people. No wonder in law feel rejected and unloved so often with people thinking this ways. In my country people would have took his side and talked the girl into stop doing this kind of shit.

[alice55]

@kylee2437 Like I said different culture. We don't do this kind of things in my country at all, they would have took the guy side and scold the girl and told her to apologize to the guy for doing this kind of stuff.

[alice55]

Their daughter cheating reflect badly on the parent name and reputation.

[Jbear27]

My ex wife cheated on me and I told her parents. They had a right to know why we were getting divorced and I wanted them to know that she fucked up, so she didn’t try to spin it on me and say I was the bad guy. Her mom knew me well and actually sided with me, while her dad wanted to stay neutral, which really meant he wanted to side with her since she was the favorite of his daughters and sons. Her sister also sided with me and she and her husband are friends with me still to this day. I hang out with her husband almost every weekend. So yeah. I think it’s a good thing to air it out to the family and expose the truth so they can’t narrate their own victim story without anyone else’s account

[hahahmm]

@Jbear27 Yes, but there is a massive difference between being a son in law and just being a boyfriend. People who aren't married constantly want to imagine there's no difference but, oh, there is. One is family. One is "well, maybe this person is only boyfriend number 5 of 45".

[alice55]

@Jbear27 Yes, that's exactly what I'm trying to say, it's important to say to the family and if the family are good people they would side with the good person not the cheater.

[alice55]

@hahahmm It's the same things especially if they have been a couple during years. Most people don't get married and if they stay together 20 years and have children even if not married you can't say they're not "boyfriend and girlfriend".

[hahahmm]

@alice55 In some families every boyfriend/girlfriend is treated like family. In others the new person doesn't get really treated like family until they have the ring (!). No matter what. It's cultural.

[alice55]

@hahahmm That's absolute nonsense, in my family they treat all boyfriend as family and fiancé, they actually call the guy fiancé and son in law more than boyfriend, they never use the word boyfriend just fiancé even if people are just dating for some weeks.

[hahahmm]

@alice55 Yeah, I did know a family like yours. Often the boyfriends turned out to be drug addicts. In the old days the woman's father would screen prospective boyfriends and not just rubber stamp everybody as good enough. And many families still practice the old ways in a sense. Not exactly the same but not giving out rubber stamps. Not everybody lives like you do. What part of that has you confused?

[Jbear27]

@alice55 I wasn’t there for anyone to pick sides. I just wanted to set the record straight. I had really no intent to try and steal her family and then turn them against her. I have kids with this woman and will be attached to her family forever in some capacity so it was important that they hear something from me as I’m sure they were going to hear a different side from her eventually.

[alice55]

@Jbear27 In your case it was especially important cause if she filled their head with lies that could possibly turn out your relationship with your kids complicated.
My sister boyfriend used to date another girl, the girl cheated on him (they had a 1 years old child) then say some bad stuff about him to her parents and now the parent are pushing for forbbiding the guy from seeing his baby. This go on since 3 years.

[alice55]

@hahahmm The part that is confusing is your lack of empathy with a victim of an evil cheater partner and siding against the victim.

[Asker]

@Jbear27
Your case is different indeed. She was your wife at the time and you guys had kids. My brother was just dating her for 4 years. I would like to think the parents' responses might've been different if they were married vs just boyfriend and girlfriend without kids.

[hahahmm]

@alice55 I don't need to feel sorry for a whiny victim who created drama by posting to FB about their personal situation. Maybe you grew up with social media so it seems normal to be a whiner to you. Traditional men don't whine FOR sympathy on the internet. They get on with life and become stronger.

[alice55]

@hahahmm Nope traditional men just try to kill their ex girlfriend if she leave... They would rather see her dead than with another man.
It's leftist that don't fight to keep their woman and let her leave without saying anything.

Also he's a victim and the girl and her family are just scum. you're surely a cheater too considering you're defending cheater.

[Danielle93]

@alice55
Why would a girl be obligated to stay with a man she doesn't want to anymore? If a so called traditional man kills her over that, then he's an jealous, possessive (''If I can't have you then no one can'') man. That's not a normal nor strong man but a weakling that can't handle a woman leaving. A traditional, gentleman is of high value, strong, not a pathetic weakling.

[alice55]

@Danielle93 She's not forced but she shouldn't cheat on him.
A traditional man is jealous and possessive and refuse to let his wife wear revealing clothes that is what traditional mean.
If he aren't like that then he's a modern man. Traditional mean men were like they were in the late 19 century you can't call a man traditional if he doesn't behave men did hundred of years ago.

A weak man wouldn't be able to kill his wife even if he wanted to cause the wife would be stronger than him.

It seem you have a new definition of traditional but truly traditional mean that you live like in the 19 century where women were object and couldn't work neither have a bank account without her husband authorization, anything else isn't traditional, gentleman yes but not traditional. Too men weren't gentleman before the rich yes but not he working class.

He's not weak for not wanting his woman to leave, that's his woman he's supposed to fight for her and win her back not let her get away if he does he's not traditional but a leftist that have been feed feminism propaganda since children (but irl no man let his woman leave without trying to win her back).

[Danielle93]

@alice55
Ironically the most jealous and possessive men are hypocrites too. Oh how dare she cheats but I'm willing to bet he can cheat with any hooker he wants to and she has to tolerate that crap.

[alice55]

@Danielle93 Not every jealous guy is this way and in my country 70 % of guy cheat so jealous or not there's a possibility for everyone to be cheater, it's not so much correlated to jealousy but I agree some jealous / possessive men cheat on them wife but those are assholes.

[provokeesmokee]

I didn't tell my cheating ex's parents, nor did he. His mother texted me for my bday, lol. 🤣

I should've, honestly. But I wasn't really a fan of them either.

[TommyMountainFigure]

No of course it isn't right to post it online.. if he particularly wanted the parents to know their daughter was a slag, he should have gone round there and said it to their face!

[Peridot25]

I’m not surprised they stood up for her. They’re a family of cheaters. Cheaters stick together.

[TacosRAwesome]

I'd they don't accept that you grew apart and whatever classy reason you claimed originally, then yes feel free to tell them. Otherwise, stay classy.

[HelpfulWoman]

absolutely ignore. there's a reason she cheated, and that probably has to do with her shitty parents

[dustybiker2]

If it helps him heal, why not? They know how the girl is already.

[Anonymous]

Pretty sure the dad knew already. Mom, when she found out would also be ok with it. They are family, afterall.

[Opinion Owner]

Telling them will just make you look desperate. Sometimes what we consider cheating is just they're way of telling you goodbye. Cowardly way, but happens all the time.

[Asker]

yeah I'm not too much in favor about posting on FB that you got cheated on or that you got dumped. If I were cheated on, I would just dump the cheater and only tell my best friend, not involve others in my problems.

[DrPepper12]

Circle the wagons for princess!!! Its all to common.

[SotiCoto]

Parents gonna parent. They probably ought to know regardless of how they respond though.

[war_daddy]

sounds like the girl was a whore and her parents aren't any better

[alice55]

It's not surprising considering they're the one raising her...

[Vesuvius87]

As a woman that never cheated, I agree what that girl did was indeed terrible. Though I have to admit my parents would react like that too. Even if it were my fault, if a man came to speak with my father about something like that, then my dad would be like WTF and tell him to get lost. Off course I would get reprimanded at home in private but not in front of others, much less in front of the man.

[Agape93]

Yeap. Scorched earth and bring evidence.

[Agape93]

Twist the knife. Apologize, say you love them and would have given em kids, but you just can't with a man who will cheat so easily.

[jahaims]

Cheaters deserve the worst

[impalabill77]

Yes it is right.