Should you tell your partner if you cheated in the past?

Question

EzraIsShy76028 · Accepted Answer

Many people will probably hit you with "always be 100% honest and tell people everything no matter what, don't ever hide anything" but in my opinion it's completely irrelevant as long as you've changed and don't plan to cheat again any time soon.

Like would you tell someone that in the past when you were in high school you bullied a kid so much they almost killed themselves? Or that in your past as a kid you got into a really ugly fight with your sister where you punched her so hard in the eye she almost went blind? There's really no reason to ever bring that kind of stuff up unless you're specifically listing "worst things I have ever done in my life."

I guess it also depends how long ago it was in your past? Just 1 year ago? 5 years ago? 10 years ago? Etc. And how old are you now? 1 year ago for an 18 year old is a huge change, might not even be the same person...1 year ago for a 30 year old barely makes a difference, they're probably still the same person. But the same general point stands.

It's not the other person's business anyway as long as you've changed. They don't need to know every little thing you've done in your past.

KrakenAttackin · Accepted Answer

Yes, but cheaters are deceivers by nature, so honesty/accountability is beyond them.

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

You should tell them because then they'll know what you are made of and that you're a cheater and can't be trusted. So, off you go! Bye-bye loser!!

ihateTaylorSwift · Accepted Answer

the truth will you set you free don't take secrets to the grave

Finchie40 · Answer

Only f they asked me , then yes I would be honest with them

Miristheiss · Answer

Of course.

Only shit people want to try and get a commitment by hiding stuff about themselves. Decent people are truthful so their potential mate can make an INFORMED DECISION.

If you are so selfish that you'll hide stuff in order to trick someone into committing to an image of who you pretend to be instead of who you really are... you are a shit person.

Lots of shit people I saw per the percentages. This crucial factor... am I faithful and loyal or am I capable to betraying a partner... this doesn't put me in a good light. This person may choose to not date me long term... I'll just trick them and hide it so I can get the commitment I want because I am the most important person here. Me getting my way is more important that being truthful and letting them make an informed decision with all the information.

godfatherfan · Answer

First off, I am of firm belief that you should never ever talk about previous relationships. Other then confirming you do not have an STD, there is nothing good that will come from knowing about past relationships. For some reason, women always want to talk about this. I never wanted to.
second, never ever ever tell someone if you cheated. Once a cheater, always a cheater. If a woman told me she cheated on someone, I would just get up and leave the date. I don't care how far we are into a relationship. No way I would ever trust her... ever.

travelguy01 · Answer

Sorry folks, I’m going to give the unpopular opinion that if you’re married to someone who has proven to be a shit partner, zero care for responsibility, helping with anything…house, kids, meals, working, anything…leaving everything to you whilst they do nothing but carelessly spend your money and act like a high schooler with their immature friends…and who is basically pulling you into the ground with them, with absolutely zero desire to change no matter how many conversations you’ve had with them…then they deserve what they get when you “cheat”. At that point, they actually cheated you first. So, fire up the cannons.

You’re welcome to hate me for that answer. I’m welcome to not really care. If you’re going to get married, then ackrite.

Feel free to light me up in the comments, I won’t be responding to any of them.

Follow me for more unpopular honest answers. Tooooodleeessssss.

Zack-Bann · Answer

Should you? Yes

Will you? No

Most people won’t shoot themselves in the foot and start a new relationship with a tainted record

Unless they know that it will come out.

Like for example if you’re dating within a small town you wouldn’t want your partner to hear it from someone else

But in big cities, the past can stay in the past

lightbulb27 · Answer

Id avoid that unless dig in. Take responsibility for it (assuming learned), lessons learned and value given to next person. but don't repeat mistakes and talk about new disciplines of self, how changed.

if you are a political figure or with one and the "tail of the dragon" can whip around and damage you in other ways, then maybe yes. no choice.

Goal is to protect your relationship and other person.

Holsen · Answer

No actually you don’t need to tell them that because as long as the other partner doesn’t find out you are all set as you are bot guilty for something no one has ever complained but in the other side as long as you are committed and willing to amend and be truthful then you have earned redemption well as long as it doesn’t have deep consequences like a child or such.

genericname85 · Answer

i mean honestly, i'd never tell about that if i ever did it. cause since i never did it, i know i'd never accept someone who did it before. so if i knew they did it, that's an instant deal breaker. so knowing that from myself, i'd probably lie and hope it never comes up.

saraupstairs · Answer

No... Should you mention you once clubbed a white baby seal to death? Just never do it again.

SuchSightsToShowYou · Answer

Cheated on the partner you're with now, or cheated on some previous partner?

Either way, I think if the relationship is serious, the answer is yes. People have the right to know what sort of life-partner they have. Especially if marriage is a possibility.

Mangospacho · Answer

Yes, but it should already show up on the background check. But it’s better to be honest upfront.

xcheerleader_jessx · Answer

Tbh, it's not something I've ever thought about bc I've never cheated. Hmm.. thanks for the idea.

XXTruthfulOgrexx · Answer

absolutely, They need the opportunity to decide in advance if they wish to pursue a relationship.  There are examples of relationships that ended when the spouse finds out later.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

I suppose telling them would be fine.. If someone did tho I don't think its smart to bring it up unless the partner asked lol.

love_conquers_lust · Answer

If asked, yes. It will inevitably come up when you need to discuss your “lineups” anyway. Relationships built on deception lead to paranoia and are inevitably doomed. Tell the truth. K. I. S. S.

SereneScribe3 · Answer

If you cheated on them, or if you had cheated in one of your past relationships?

Alex-Snow · Answer

No our pasts are our pasts. Hopefully those that cheated learned their lesson

exitseven · Answer

no, the past is the past. Just use the experience to be a better person.

CarolinaGirl5 · Answer

No, grow up, don't do it again , and move on. Why would you tell? Unless yoi want to end the relationship

molonski2 · Answer

Why would you bother? Nothing happens without reason , everything evolves.

SolitarySolace · Answer

Yes, so that they can break up with you knowing your just do it again. Once a cheater always a cheater. Bye bye

red324 · Answer

I wouldn't. No need to make them paranoid if you can avoid it. My friends wife has a tracking app on his phone and he didn't even cheat

HellGeist · Answer

I wish women would so I could avoid them, lmao.

Yannae · Answer

I believe so if she asked me. She deserves to know me.

DrPepper12 · Answer

I'm gonna go with AA dictum: If it will do more harm than good keep it to yourself.

rienna888 · Answer

no you will ruin their trust in every partner they come across. Just stop cheating on them

Emmytexrex · Answer

Lol the past is past do you get it the past is past so the presence is present

JamesRandiDebates · Answer

It's best just to assume that any bitch you meet has cheated on every guy she's ever been with. You have a 95% chance of being right.

Dongie · Answer

I take it not on the current partner but a past partner. No. If it's on them you screwed up.

crunchytaco · Answer

If they ask, yes. You shouldn't keep it a secret, or they'll never trust you if they ever find out.

anastasia_651 · Answer

Everything I do now it's totally my life definitely I'm not going to answer him

LiamJHayden · Answer

No. Why poison the well unnecessarily?

Jay-_- · Answer

I think that's a very important detail.

serious_miss419 · Answer

People don’t need to know everything.

Mia2004 · Answer

I think so if she remorseful.

Kelly6 · Answer

@hawkperception nope

shades777 · Answer

You should probably keep that ish to yourself

Crazzyyworld · Answer

I thought men want dirty secrets

alessandro_di · Answer

No, this destroys our relationship.

sindibella12 · Answer

No no no never

MrJMM · Answer

Umm... yeah!

Slim57 · Answer

Yeah

Should you tell your partner if you cheated in the past?

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