Do you think it’s wise to not tell your partner that you cheated on them?

Question

You love your partner and you feel guilty for cheating on them , but do you think it’s wise not to tell them the truth or do you feel the right thing to do , is tell the truth? By telling the truth it can ruin your relationship with them and possibly end the relationship as well. So do you keep it a secret or tell the truth? What would you do?

jshm2 · Accepted Answer

Nothing is lied about more than "truth". Most people don't even know the truth, hence lies and opinions are all they have.

There is no law or "truth" that says you must explain every jot and iota of relevance at all times. You don't hand over a 5 to the cashier and casually tell them you snorted coke with it last night and it was then handed over to your sweaty palmed friend to do some more, do you?

The information is not relevant, and you're being a fucking fool disclosing it.

Similarly if you're a cheater at heart then you'll be exposed anyway as your habits will catch up with you regardless of your mouth. But if you're past your mistakes, then it's not relevant information.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

No I think it would be wise and not have cheated   That old saying once a cheater always a cheater becomes very true now because now you hold it in for how ever long   We all get opportunities to cheat.
But that's when you stand up and say i'm not going to do it , it's just not worth it to me  What i'm curious about is the person that cheated. Could they tell there partner they now get a free pass. To go cheat eye for eye kinda like. Wood, or could they actually do that? And be good with it Even though I don't think the partner would do it , but you never can tell

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

If you love your partner and you regret deepest. Don't tell. It will destroy the trust.

If you want to leave your partner... don't tell. There is no reason to hurt your partner more.

You did the mistake - you struggle with that. Don't burden your partner with your cheating.

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

No, that's not very wise to withhold that from your "partner."

You are still lying to them by not telling them. It's called "The Lie of Omission."

So now you're a liar AND a cheater!! Nice person!!🙄

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

My aim on GAG is to give you the honest, slightly spicy truth about love and relationships 💋

If I cheated, I’d tell. Not blurting it out to dump my guilt, but owning it because a relationship built on a lie is already cracked. Hiding it is emotional ghosting in slow motion.

Yes, you might lose them. But if the only way to “keep” someone is to deceive them, you’ve already lost them.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I have never been in that position because I never cheated on a partner. If I did, I don't know how I would react. I don't think anyone can really know how they would react until they have actually confronted that decision.

AviatorTom · Answer

I've never cheated, but if I did and felt guilty and remorseful about it, I would not tell my partner. Why put her through hell? Instead, I would do whatever I can to maintain a good and loving relationship with her.

There are some things in life that are better to not know.

HawkPerception · Answer

If you cheated on them, you're already a scumbag. If you cheated on them and refuse to tell them, then there's no redemption for you. You're worse than a scumbag.

realbiggrin · Answer

Damn thats a spot. Do some sole searching like why did you cheat? Is it something you could see yourself doing again? Then the hard shifty questions. Could they every find out would the person you cheated with every get vindictive and tell the shitty little secret to get back at you or your Innocent partner? Now, are you willing to hold on to the person twice as hard and live with the guilt so as not to ruin your trusting partner? Then dont tell your partner but if there is a chance he or she could find out tell her.

Anonymous · Answer

The only reason why people tell their partners that they cheated is because of guilt. If you or whomever KNOWS that your partner is unhappy in the relationship too, and that you should probably end it, fine, tell them. But if you cheated for whatever reason, but you know your partner is happy and loves you, then you keep that guilt bottled down and suffer through it yourself for the rest of your life. No need to break his or her heart because you messed up. If the marriage wasn't ruined through your cheating, then it sure will be ruined through you telling. It is selfish to cheat and then tell because you feel guilty and need to get it off your shoulders, AND expect your partner to forgive you. The only other exceptions, other than your knowing you both are unhappy are if you caught a STD or got another woman pregnant.

MontBlanc · Answer

Honestly, I think hiding it might avoid conflict for a while, but it also means the relationship isn’t built on real honesty anymore

If someone truly values their partner, they should at least be brave enough to face the consequences of their actions.

Master_Debator · Answer

What do you value more?, and that's my answer for you.

You want to keep the relationship and the peace? I can understand that, but I'd also have to ask why did you cheat then? If you tell me it was a really hot midget and it was a once in a life time opportunity, I will understand that too.

new-person · Answer

Ask yourself why are you cheating, in the first place. Then ask yourself if you really do love your partner or not. Because if you do not respect them when they are not around, you only tell and show them a mask and tell them a lie when they are around.

madhatters4 · Answer

it's unwise to cheat on someone and then perpetuate a lie by going on and not telling them.

tell the truth. it may ruin the relationship but that is fault of the cheater not the person who found out they were cheated on and opted not to be with a cheater. (not you necessarily, the "royal" you)

what would i do? I HAVE advised friends who cheated to tell their partner and deal with whatever consequences come of it

OneViewpoint · Answer

What is your end goal in telling someone you fucked someone else? Are you doing it for them (doubtful) or are you trying to ease your own conscience? Or are you just self destructive and trying to trigger an event to get yourself off?

Miristheiss · Answer

No.

It is evil.

It was disgusting an evil to cheat. Then it is disgusting and evil to hide it from them and keep them with you by deception, possibly exposing them to disease.

Proving you only love yourself. You'll fuck everyone else over to keep things smooth for yourself.

CherryLove007 · Answer

Zero relationship without trust so a firm NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO it is not wise to keep that kind of hella secret.

Agape93 · Answer

Nope. If my partner cheats and tells me, they got a problem. If they cheat and I find out myself or from another person, they just stepped on a landmine.

tzdc21 · Answer

The right thing to do would be to not cheat on them at all. And you should tell them so they can dump you and find someone who won't cheat. It would be the exact thing the cheater deserves.

molonski2 · Answer

Never ever declare , nothing to be gained , and total denial it would only cause pain.

exitseven · Answer

Dont tell them. no sense in hurting them if you are genuinely sorry.

McKellar · Answer

The better question would be, why would you cheat on your romantic partner in the first place?

RavVid · Answer

It is a moral quandary. To tell will deeply hurt your partner but to not tell is exacerbating the crime.  I would simply not cheat in the first place.

LC75LC71 · Answer

It's wise to not cheat at all. Beyond morality, they are going to find out..

SAMI_DABBAB · Answer

At this point things are already ruined, nothing is wise, it’s a horrible action which has to be reported to the other person, pick the means but they have to know so they can leave with clarity or in rare cases forgive you

Pohjolan · Answer

Easy. I just don't cheat in the first place.

Razp_Sorbet · Answer

I simply wouldn't cheat

mrshooiser · Answer

Its better to be honest.

msc545 · Answer

It's better not to tell them unless you don't care whether or not you ruin your relationship.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Nope. Tell the truth. And stop cheating

V4valiant · Answer

Keep your dirty business to yourself. Nobody wants to know

LiamJHayden · Answer

I never cheat so I never face that dilemma.

AgentG111 · Answer

Guess it depends on your relationship.

Cidknee · Answer

It could be a case of let sleeping dogs lie!

madelyndrae · Answer

Cheating happens bc the relationship is lacking.

robocop666 · Answer

this is how you get murdered. keep quiet.

Anonymous · Answer

No idea because I've never cheated.

Anonymous · Answer

Very wise

lts_dorri · Answer

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