Guy friend insulted me?

[Anonymous]

I’m currently staying with a guy friend with whom I used to have a casual relationship of sorts. I’m planning to move out after summer and he’s going to help me find a car. So he asked how much I can spend on it, and I told him. He went on to ask how much would be left after selling my condo, which isn’t much. I’m planning to do some long hiking then stay at shelters over winter. He kind of lost it and called me lazy and a doss who never did anything. I have a BA degree, then started my own company together with my then partner, working 60-70 hours per week, then after I split up with that person, having worked 50% time while studying 150% time for a MSc. He is working a regular job and constantly complaining about being tired and needing to rest. My question is: why would he get aggressive snd and why would he accuse me of being lazy, which is clearly not true?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he thinks it’s lazy for you to stay at shelters rather than get into a better financial situation so you could afford to live on your own once you move out of his place. Many people have that mindset, and while yes they’re entitled to that opinion it doesn’t mean that’s what everyone else wants to do. Like nomads or vanlifers, they desire very little finances, just enough to afford their travel and such but they care most about having life experiences, not jobs. I’m not sure if this is your mentality but if it is then that’s a fair choice.

[Asker]

Whatever I am lazy is not it

[Asker]

I’m just wondering why get aggressive

[Opinion Owner]

You’re living with this guy, so he’s seeing sides and aspects of you that for one, you may not have known even existed and two, he’s clashing with because it doesn’t align with who he is as a person. Despite your past achievements and hard work, in present time he feels like you’re being lazy, and that your plans are lazy. Yes, it was ridiculous to get aggressive about it and not factual for him to say you never did anything — you’ve done plenty. He’s just basing his opinions recently on what he’s experiencing while living with you, which he never has before.

[Asker]

I have worked part time and studied 150% at a global top 100 university while staying with him. Plus done household chores for him

[idonotlikeyou]

Because he's a guy. If you do something, he'll complain; if you don't do what he thinks is right, he'll get angry. You can't please them. Let what he says go in one ear and out the other. Do your own thing.

[noohair]

You believe that you somehow deserve a vacation over the winter? And what shelters are you staying at? You are not entitled to anything for working hard. He is just as entitled to his opinion as you are to yours. There is no right or wrong. But I can see his point better than yours. Taking time off from studying is in my view a waste of time. 150% is mathematically impossible.

[Asker]

No it isn’t and I got the credits to prove it

[noohair]

I don't think anything I say will sink into that thick skull.

[Luckycharms12]

Sounds like he cares about you but didn't communicate it in the right way

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the classic case of misunderstanding mixed with a dash of misplaced frustration! It sounds like your guy friend might be projecting his own insecurities or dissatisfaction onto you, which is as common in relationships as ghosting in modern dating. 😏 But seriously, it’s not about you being lazy or unambitious – your track record screams the opposite. It’s possible he’s comparing your adventurous, independent path to his more conventional one and feeling a bit threatened or inadequate. Or maybe, he’s worried about you and expresses it in the worst way possible. Communication is key here. Try having a heart-to-heart, and express how his words made you feel. It’s all about understanding each other’s perspectives. Who knows? This could be a real bonding moment or a love bombing goodbye! Keep it light, honest, and maybe spice it up with a bit of your charm! 😉

[slatyb]

Feelings of inferiority.